Would you ever sign a prenup?

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
  • poll: Is there any possible circumstance in which you'd ever consider signing a prenup?
    No : (78 votes)
    29 %
    Yes : (174 votes)
    64 %
    Yes, and it would be a deal breaker if my SO didn't feel the same. : (20 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2696 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    So long as it was protecting both of us, then yes.

    I see a pre-nup as an insurance policy. I think they’re a good idea..

    Post # 4
    Member
    2052 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Mr VB and I talked about this within the first month of us seriously dating.  I have no problems with it.  I don’t have much, but I like the idea of it being protected.  Same with Mr VB.  I love him and I’m just not here for the money that he may *one day* and I would never want him to have that impression, EVER.

    *Mr VB is finishing up a PhD program that may allow him to make great money one day…fingers crossed for him because it’s really what he wants, and I want him to be happy.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2565 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Yes I would sign one.  In the event that one was indicated I would work with my FI and our lawyers to come up with something that was fair for everyone involved before signing it.  Doesn’t mean I am expecting to get a divorce, it’s just a piece of paper that hopefully is never needed in the future.  In the unfortunate event it was needed, it would be something with both agreed upon in case we turn into assholes during a divorce.

    Post # 6
    Member
    7098 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would sign one as long as I felt the conditions were fair.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3570 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I have no problems with prenups and would absolutely sign one.  

    Post # 8
    Member
    2562 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    We are on equal footing, so there’s really no point in signing one for us.

    But if I had some money to my name, or a business of my own, I would ask for a prenup – I didn’t work for all that crap to lose it in a divorce. Same thing with my partner – if you’ve got stuff, I should want to protect it as well (because let’s face it, most of us would be somewhat venegful if a certain level of “wrongs” was commited against us in a marriage)

    I mean… my parents argued about who would get the FREEZER when they divorced. Seriously.

    Post # 9
    Member
    11668 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Girls on here are way to sensitive about prenups.  Both my husband and I absolutely would consider one if the circumstances warranted one.  If my husband had significant wealth before we met, I do not feel entitled to that should we break up, anymore than he would feel entitled to my wealth that came before him.  I don’t even feel that I would have any right to the house he bought long before we met (even though the law says otherwise). I in no way think my husband and I will ever divorce, but it wouldn’t stop me from getting a prenup.  You never know what can happen and you never know how ugly a person can turn in the midst of a divorce.  

    We’re in the process of writing a will right now since we have a baby on the way.  I liken prenups to that of assigning who will care for our baby in the event we both die.  It’s not pleasant to think about and I think it’s pretty unlikely we will both die but you need to be prepared and protected just in case.

    Post # 10
    Member
    649 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’m sometimes torn on this question… I think for me, and my relationship with my husband, I would say no. I wouldn’t want to marry if one of us thought for any reason it wouldn’t work out (however naive that may be, it’s how I feel for us). I’m grateful he also felt that it was unncessary for us.

    However, I don’t think they’re a bad idea on principle, and would never knock a couple who decided to do one.

    Post # 11
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I would have. DH came to the marriage with TONS of assets, and I came with limited assets and student loan debt/mortgage debt.

    But apparently I came close enough to breaking even that despite MANY comments about getting one, he didn’t wind up following through (and once we sold my home in Vermont, it wiped out my mortgage and 10K of my 15K of student loans)

    Post # 12
    Member
    2355 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Those who would sign a prenup have a vastly different mindset and approach to marriage than those who would not. Neither camp’s mind is going to be changed. No, I would not sign one. It would be a dealbreaker. When you marry, the two of you become one. Others believe you are individuals who happen to be married and what is yours is not necessarily mine. I could not be in a relationship with someone who did not share my beliefs regarding prenups, divorce, and marriage.

    Post # 13
    Member
    38 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Divorce is not an option for us, and a prenup doesn’t make sense. We both agree that it’s definitely not an option. We’re in this together forever! 

    Post # 14
    Member
    6510 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @urchin:  +1

    We didn’t do one because there was nothing for either of us to protect. Had our financial circumstances been different I definitely would have signed one.

    Post # 15
    Member
    875 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @MsW-to-MrsM:  respectfully, I disagree with this and believe it is a generalization on your part

     

    @ladyamalthea:  I am a Catholic and my religious beliefs do not allow for divorce. I believe marriage is for life. I look at myself and my husband as one family now that we are married. All that being said, I would sign a prenup because divorce can still happen and it is hell. I think it makes sense to outline what happens to assets if there is a big difference in net worth(in my case, I came into my marriage with nothing (well, negative) and my DH had quite a bit). That being said I would never sign a legal document under duress and I imagine it would take quite a bit of time for our lawyers to come up with something that made both of us happy, or as close to happy as possible.

    Post # 16
    Member
    6964 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @ladyamalthea:  So my answer is probably a little weird, but I’d sign a prenup if it was my FILs who were demanding it and not my SO. For me it’s a non-issue because ain’t no way I’m getting divorced. But if HE wanted one because HE thought we might get divorced, that would be a deal breaker. I don’t like the idea of going into marriage with a contingency plan, but if it kept his parents from harrassing us I would do it. 

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