Post # 1
I’m just curious, hive. Is there any situation in which you would consider signing a prenup?
Personally, I’m pro-prenup lol. I’m not saying they’re for everyone, but I think they can do a lot of good, and I want my FI to stay with me because we love eachother and we make eachother happy, not because he’s worried about a messy divorce. And I completely trust my FI not to view it as a get-out-of-jail-free card every time things get tough. But I have every intention of staying with him till death do we part 🙂
So feel free to elaborate, but remember to be respectful! This can be a touchy topic, so please avoid absolutes like all couples who do it are godless heathens, or all who don’t are living in lala land.
Post # 3
So long as it was protecting both of us, then yes.
I see a pre-nup as an insurance policy. I think they’re a good idea..
Post # 4
Mr VB and I talked about this within the first month of us seriously dating. I have no problems with it. I don’t have much, but I like the idea of it being protected. Same with Mr VB. I love him and I’m just not here for the money that he may *one day* and I would never want him to have that impression, EVER.
*Mr VB is finishing up a PhD program that may allow him to make great money one day…fingers crossed for him because it’s really what he wants, and I want him to be happy.
Post # 5
Yes I would sign one. In the event that one was indicated I would work with my FI and our lawyers to come up with something that was fair for everyone involved before signing it. Doesn’t mean I am expecting to get a divorce, it’s just a piece of paper that hopefully is never needed in the future. In the unfortunate event it was needed, it would be something with both agreed upon in case we turn into assholes during a divorce.
Post # 6
I would sign one as long as I felt the conditions were fair.
Post # 7
I have no problems with prenups and would absolutely sign one.
Post # 8
We are on equal footing, so there’s really no point in signing one for us.
But if I had some money to my name, or a business of my own, I would ask for a prenup – I didn’t work for all that crap to lose it in a divorce. Same thing with my partner – if you’ve got stuff, I should want to protect it as well (because let’s face it, most of us would be somewhat venegful if a certain level of “wrongs” was commited against us in a marriage)
I mean… my parents argued about who would get the FREEZER when they divorced. Seriously.
Post # 9
Girls on here are way to sensitive about prenups. Both my husband and I absolutely would consider one if the circumstances warranted one. If my husband had significant wealth before we met, I do not feel entitled to that should we break up, anymore than he would feel entitled to my wealth that came before him. I don’t even feel that I would have any right to the house he bought long before we met (even though the law says otherwise). I in no way think my husband and I will ever divorce, but it wouldn’t stop me from getting a prenup. You never know what can happen and you never know how ugly a person can turn in the midst of a divorce.
We’re in the process of writing a will right now since we have a baby on the way. I liken prenups to that of assigning who will care for our baby in the event we both die. It’s not pleasant to think about and I think it’s pretty unlikely we will both die but you need to be prepared and protected just in case.
Post # 10
I’m sometimes torn on this question… I think for me, and my relationship with my husband, I would say no. I wouldn’t want to marry if one of us thought for any reason it wouldn’t work out (however naive that may be, it’s how I feel for us). I’m grateful he also felt that it was unncessary for us.
However, I don’t think they’re a bad idea on principle, and would never knock a couple who decided to do one.
Post # 11
I would have. DH came to the marriage with TONS of assets, and I came with limited assets and student loan debt/mortgage debt.
But apparently I came close enough to breaking even that despite MANY comments about getting one, he didn’t wind up following through (and once we sold my home in Vermont, it wiped out my mortgage and 10K of my 15K of student loans)
Post # 12
Those who would sign a prenup have a vastly different mindset and approach to marriage than those who would not. Neither camp’s mind is going to be changed. No, I would not sign one. It would be a dealbreaker. When you marry, the two of you become one. Others believe you are individuals who happen to be married and what is yours is not necessarily mine. I could not be in a relationship with someone who did not share my beliefs regarding prenups, divorce, and marriage.
Post # 13
Divorce is not an option for us, and a prenup doesn’t make sense. We both agree that it’s definitely not an option. We’re in this together forever!
Post # 14
We didn’t do one because there was nothing for either of us to protect. Had our financial circumstances been different I definitely would have signed one.
Post # 15
@MsW-to-MrsM: respectfully, I disagree with this and believe it is a generalization on your part
@ladyamalthea: I am a Catholic and my religious beliefs do not allow for divorce. I believe marriage is for life. I look at myself and my husband as one family now that we are married. All that being said, I would sign a prenup because divorce can still happen and it is hell. I think it makes sense to outline what happens to assets if there is a big difference in net worth(in my case, I came into my marriage with nothing (well, negative) and my DH had quite a bit). That being said I would never sign a legal document under duress and I imagine it would take quite a bit of time for our lawyers to come up with something that made both of us happy, or as close to happy as possible.
Post # 16
@ladyamalthea: So my answer is probably a little weird, but I’d sign a prenup if it was my FILs who were demanding it and not my SO. For me it’s a non-issue because ain’t no way I’m getting divorced. But if HE wanted one because HE thought we might get divorced, that would be a deal breaker. I don’t like the idea of going into marriage with a contingency plan, but if it kept his parents from harrassing us I would do it.