Post # 1
We just found out that a friend of ours is getting married this weekend. While her and her FI have been engaged for a while they have made no efforts towards planning and suprise they are eloping before the new year. We are not going to attend the elopement ceremony nor are they having any festivities like a luncheon or party afterwards that we know of at this point. However, we are having a bachelorette “dinner” and dinner only the night before.
I am pretty sure I am going to give a small gift (haven’t decided what, suggestions are appreciated) but I am wondering what you might do or if you were the bride what you might expect in this situation. Just hypothetical to keep you busy on this day after Christmas or Boxing Day to some.
So if you had a friend that was getting married the next day and were only invited/attending/knew of the bachelorette party which was just a small group of ladies getting together for dinner only would you give a wedding present? What would you give? If you were the bride in this situation would you expect gifts?
Post # 3
@Treejewel19: if it was me, i would probably get her a gift but not as large as a usual wedding gift. maybe comparable to a shower gift.
if i was the bride in this case, i really don’t think i would expect gifts tbh but that’s just me.
Post # 4
If I was eloping, I wouldn’t expect any presents.
If I had a close friend that was eloping, I would get them a present, but I wouldn’t feel obligated to do so. I would probably give it to them after the bachelorette so I wouldn’t make anyone who didn’t get a present feel awkward.
Post # 5
I absolutely would give a present,especially because you already know about the elopement. She probably wouldn’t be expecting it but I’m sure would be thrilled that you thought of her/them.
Post # 6
@Polygon: Good point! Thanks, didn’t think about that.
Post # 7
@Treejewel19: if this were a good friend of mine, I would definitely give a card and a gift. But I like giving gifts. 🙂
Post # 8
@nightborn: Meeeeee too! 😀
Post # 9
If I was eloping, I certainly wouldn’t expect gifts, but if it was family or a close friend, I would give a gift to a couple that eloped. I think of it as a wedding gift whether I attended the wedding or not. If it was some distant friend or relative, I would send a congratulatory card but not a gift.
Post # 10
If they were a good friend I’d still give a gift. If we were just acquaintances I wouldn’t give a gift.
Post # 11
I’d definitely give a gift to a good friend or even a semi close friend. Someone I only talk to occasionally, I wouldn’t. I’d also give a small gift at the bachelorette thing.
As someone who is gonna be having a small DW, I don’t even expect gifts for that so I definitely wouldn’t expect elopement gifts
Post # 12
@Treejewel19: If a couple was truly eloping (which this couple isn’t) then probably not unless they were close family.
In this case of a private wedding, I would probably not give them a present either and I would also side eye the bachelorette party and probably not attend unless they were a close friend or relative.
Post # 13
We eloped (just us 2) and sent announcements/pictures 2 months later to 50 people. We didn’t get any gifts and didn’t expect to BUT my mom threw us a small in-home dinner with mostly close family and her old friends (10 people total) and we recieved checks/cash from those few people in person. If we didn’t have the surprise shin-dig we would have likely got nothing.
We didn’t expect anything. If it was a close friend, I would get something smal.
Post # 14
@Treejewel19: I would probably just get them a nice card and some money ( not as much as a wedding gift, but maybe $100 dollars or so) How close are you? If i didn’t know the couple very well I probably woudn’t attend anything and wouldn’t give a gift
I doubt they are expecting presents but if you are close to them a small gift might be nice
Post # 15
@Treejewel19: I’d perhaps get her something for the day or something she can take away with her that she’ll use as part of her preparations. If I were the bride this is the type of thing I’d appreciate as a little something to remind me my friends are thinking of me back home.
Post # 16
I would give a gift. I think the reason why you should give a present to anyone is because you want to do something nice for them, not because you feel you need to cover your plate or pay them back for the receptoon. That being said, while a gift is a nice gesture, it is never mandatory.