Post # 1
Long story short. My friend is getting married in 3 weeks. I am friends with the groom and was invited to the bridal shower. I’m not that close to the bride. The bridal shower is literally right after the Bachelorette party that I was not invited to. The Bachlorette party is Friday through Sunday and the bridal shower is Sunday evening. From what I can tell on the evite I am one of 3 or 4 girls who were not invited to the Bachlorette party (I am friends with the groom’s sister who was invited to both and asked if I was the only person invited to the bridal shower only). I feel it’s a little awkawrd since they’re all just getting back from this trip they all took and will be talking about it. Am I just over thinking it? It’s also 2 weeks away so my immediate thought was I was a last minute pity invite. Their engagment was 2 years long and the bridal shower is about an hour drive away, if it matters.
So bees, would you attend?
Post # 3
I do think you’re over-thinking it with the trip thing and all, but to be honest I probably wouldn’t attend. It’s too far of a drive for a peripheral friend 🙂
Post # 4
Hells no. I think it’s rude to exclude you from the fun weekend while inviting you to the gift-centric event.
Post # 5
@sailor: That’s exactly what I thought too. Nope, can’t participate in the fun part, only the gift giving part.
I’d respectfully decline the invite. If anyone asks why, just explain that it’s a long drive, especially for a Sunday.
Post # 6
@sailor: that was my first thought after pity invite. So I’m only being invited now that you want a gift out of me?
@Blanche: yea, if the shower was close by I would be more inclined to go. But a 2 hour round trip on a Sunday evening for someone I am not really friends with is a lot.
Post # 7
I don’t think it’s odd that they invited you to the shower and not the bachelorette. I think of the bachelorette as an event for the bride’s closest friends and the shower as an opportunity for all the ladies on both sides of the couple to mingle. If you’re uncomfortable you can certainly decline. I doubt I’d go if it was that far and I wasn’t really close to the bride.
Post # 10
It depends how private the bachelorette is. You said they are “just getting back from this trip”. If you aren’t close enough to the bride to be invited to an away trip I don’t think you should be upset about your lack of invitation to it.
A shower is a totally different thing. To be honest for myself, my bachelorette is my bridesmaids and a few extra girls.. but not all the girls I know. Traditionally for a shower I believe most female guests are invited aren’t they?
I would not punish the bride by not going to the shower simply because you are not invited to the bach, that is if you planned to go to the shower already.
Post # 12
I don’t think there is anything wrong with not inviting everyone at the shower to the bachelorette. However, I wouldn’t go to a shower for someone that isn’t a close friend, especially if it is an hour drive…
Post # 13
It seems a little gift grabby to invite you to the shower but not the bachelorette party if they’re literally right after each other. I’d send a small gift with my regrets.
Post # 14
I’m actually not offended I wasn’t invited to the bachlorette party. I wouldn’t have gone anyway if I were since it’s a lot of money to spend on someone I’m not even friends with. It’s the fact that it’s RIGHT after they get back that makes me feel uncomfortable going. If these two events were spread apart I wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable about it.
Post # 15
Good to see you!
Oh HELLS to the no! Obviously you’re friends with the groom first and not the bride. Seems like she’s fishing for a gift… I sure didnt’ invite my DH’s female friends to my bridal shower!
Just my two cents…. I wouldn’t go… besides you’ll see her at the wedding and have to gift then anyway!
Post # 16
I just would not got because it is such a long drive and it is directly following the bachelorette party. It’s true, all of the girls probably will be talking about it the whole time and you will deff feel left out. Maybe send a gift?