(Closed) Would you go to a wedding if your FI/DH/DW wasn’t invited too?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: What would you do if you were invited to a wedding and your FI/DH/DW was not?
    Go. Money is tight, and she/he will be just fine for a night w/o me. : (16 votes)
    33 %
    Ask if it was an oversight. This is a good friend...no reason to walk on pins and needles. : (16 votes)
    33 %
    Politely decline, but don't say why. : (15 votes)
    31 %
    Decline and explain that your union needs to be recognized if you are going to recognize theirs. : (2 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3182 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    The biggest factor for me is how many people I know there.  Sometimes just knowing people wouldn’t cut it, it would have to be people I was comfortably hanging out with the majority of the evening.  Having to awkwardly jump in and out of conversations all night to avoid spending too much time with some random person I barely know is not my thing.  I guess some people call that mingling, haha, but it’s just not something I would want to do. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    5655 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    If it was a good friend, i’d probably inquire. I know that oopsies happen… ie DH forgot to mention that his step-brother was married so the invite went to MR. xxx with 1 seat reserved in your honor. OOPs.

    If we weren’t that close, I would decline but not explain… unless asked specifically why upon running into them or such.

    Post # 5
    Member
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    In my current situation (dating/living together for 6 years, engaged for 1) I would absolutely decline the invitation if FI wasn’t invited. The only situation where I may agree to go would be if it was a co-workers wedding. 

    Two years ago my co-worker was married and I was invited without a plus one. She invited everyone in the department so the topic of dates came up. She said that only those who were engaged or married were being granted a plus one. This did piss me off a little since I had been with my (now) FI for more than 2 years longer than her and her (then) FI but I got over it and still attended. If it has been a friend or family members wedding instead of a co-workers, I would have been pretty peeved that they didn’t think enough of me and my relationship to include my SO. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    5273 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I agree about the co-worker, I wouldn’t expect my husband to be invited.

    But for a family or friends wedding, if my husband wasn’t invited, then yes I would decline.

    Post # 7
    Member
    7175 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    If it was a good friend (meaning, someone I communicated with), I’d ask them why DH wasn’t included.

    If it was because they were tight on space, I’d absolutely decline the invitation.

    If it was because he was my FI and the reason was because they didn’t have space, didn’t know FI, etc. then I would accept.

    Not inviting a husband/wife is unacceptable, in my book.  Not inviting a FI (even though it’s technically close) is more forgivable.

    Post # 8
    Member
    511 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I’ve been to weddings alone. I don’t get what the big deal is. Sometimes my FI (Who i’ve date for seven years) just isn’t as close to the bride/groom as I am.. and visa versa. Plus, i truly understand how hard it is to have to feel like you have to include EVERYONES plus one! but for people that can’t do/go places without there SO/FI then I can see how it may be an issue for them and how they may decline.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1046 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Yes, I’d go. I’m a big girl and I can do something without my FI.

    Post # 10
    Member
    633 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I would probably go to a wedding alone if DH couldn’t come for various reasons, but I would be slightly offended if only one of us was invited to a wedding. We’re married and a family unit now, so I think it would be incrediably rude for someone to over look this. I don’t have any friends who would do this though, so thankfully it’s never been a problem!

    Post # 11
    Member
    6010 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    At this point in my life (having been married for 2 years), I would decline an invite that did not include my husband.  I would also decline an invite that didn’t include our daughter, but that’s just my personal preference.

    Post # 12
    Member
    46155 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would definitely go. Any adult should be able to mix, mingle and make polite table conversation for one evening and any bride (that’s us folks) should understand that not everyone can be invited.

    You don’t have to stay until the bitter end, but you can take the opportunity to socialize and network.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2775 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    If I were invited to a wedding without my husband (or FI, at the time), I’d decline and only explain if asked.

    It is a serious breach of etiquette to exclude spouses and fiances.  Whether the bride and groom know my husband is irrelevant – married and engaged couples have to be invited together to mixed-sex social events.

    ETA: I am perfectly capable of going to weddings and other social events without my husband if he’s invited but unable to make it.

    Post # 14
    Member
    5273 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I will add, that I agree about going to weddings alone, not being a big deal – however in this situation, the OP asked about going to a wedding when an invitation was not even extended, and if someone choose to not even extend an invitation to my husband, I would not attend based on that reason.  

    Post # 15
    Member
    2313 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I would probably not go. It’s a little insulting to say either a) we don’t value your spouse’s presence enough to save a seat for him and invite him or b) we’re too cheap to pay for your spouse to come to our wedding- which are the only two things I could really take an intentional non-invite to mean.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2313 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @AnnieAAA: 

    Agreed; I’ve gone to weddings alone when he hasn’t been able to make it, but I wouldn’t go if he was intentionally not invited. 

    The topic ‘Would you go to a wedding if your FI/DH/DW wasn’t invited too?’ is closed to new replies.

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