Post # 1
* wanted to preface with: I am not currently TTC, but do currently live in an apartment. *
After a conversation with a friend, she asked how our house hunting is going. DH and I will be buying within the next year or so, so I mentioned that timeframe to her along with my thoughts about a specific neighborhood we are eying. Her response was along the lines of: good, now once you’re in a house, you’ll be able to have a baby!
She went on to explain that she was absolutely NOT going to have a child in an apartment. Of course, in an ideal world, my future children would have a huge yard… With a swing set… And access to good parks…. And a white picket fence.
Have you/would you consider apartment living unsuitable for raising a small child? Would home ownership be a MUST to become parents?
Post # 3
@Mrs_Amanda: No, I know a ton of people that live in an apartment and have children……it works for them just fine. Of course, when things start to get cramped then they start looking for a bigger place, but they still had the baby first.
Post # 4
No. I hate apartment living myself, I can’t imagine being a little kid without a yard! I am 100% suburbanite/rural suburbia person and don’t know how people function their whole lives sharing walls with people. One of our goals before kids is to own a house.
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church
We’re actively TTC and living in an apartment. I don’t see why we couldn’t have a baby in an apartment. My aunt and uncle have 2 children (9 and 13) and have always lived in an apartment and probably always will live in an apartment. We do hope to get a house some time in the next 5 years (so that we can devote our money to paying off student loans right now), but that doesn’t mean that we’ll wait that long to have a baby. It would be a little while before the child would be able to go outside on their own anyways, so a yard vs a park is not a big deal at this point.
Post # 6
My parents, brother, and I lived in an apartment until my brother was 13 and I was 7. While it wasn’t the greatest, at least my parents were there for something like 10 years. I would never call it unsuitable for raising a child.
However, I wouldn’t do the same only because I have moved around a lot. We’re looking at buying a house now, but I have lived in 2 apartments and 1 rental house all within the last 5 years. The apartments went up crazy amounts every year with a new lease resign (last one went up $175/mo). I hate moving and making my cat adjust to new places, I can’t imagine having to relocate a child. Because of this a permanent house -at least for a good number of years- is a main component for us to TTC in the future.
Post # 7
@Mrs_Amanda: You should tell your friend about a place called Europe… We all live in apartments, and we still procreate! I think its totally fine to live in an appartment and have kids. I am 11 weeks pregnant and living in an apartment.
Post # 8
I don’t see anything wrong with it. If it is a tiny apartment there might not be much room for a kid, but you can get apartments that would have the space.
There was a time when I was a kid that we spent some time living in an apartment and there was plenty of yard to play in. And it was great as there were lots of other kids always outside playing, so you didn’t have to play in the yard alone.
We live in a townhouse. So our ‘yard’ is a small fenced concrete slab. Not so ideal to play in. but there is lots of common area that is grassed and we live behind a couple schools, so there are playgrounds and fields to play at.
Post # 9
@Sea_bass: lol, good point!
Post # 10
I don’t see why it’s necessary, I know plenty of people in NYC who raise babies/toddlers in apartments.
Post # 11
It is easy to talk when you are not there yet (speaking of your friend!). Sometimes you wake up and you are ready, and that is more important than whether you are a home-owner. I know plenty of home-owners who should not be parents. No, I absolutely do not think that is a prereq for parenthood. It reminds me of a young girl in one of my classes that said you should have a baby before thirty. I just wanted to pat her on the back and say, “we’ll see where you are at when you get there.” I think if you wait for ideals in life you will be disappointed and miss out. There are much more important requirements, IMO.
Post # 12
All apartments are not created equal.
I lived in an apartment that is bigger than the the condo I am currently renting.
She making assumptions about apartments, that they are all small and loud (IE hear neighbors) and inconvenient or have no access to outdoor space. This is not always the case.
Post # 13
@Mrs_Amanda: I think it would be fine. Think of all those people in Manhattan with parents who have GREAT jobs, but have to live in apartments since that’s the norm.
I think there are pros and cons to living anywhere. Sounds corny, but as long as there’s love, a roof over their heads, something to play with, and food, what more does a small child really need?
Apartments are typically walking distance from playgrounds anyway.
I grew up all over the place.. in apartments in a big city, bungalows, a big house on an acreage… and in a townhouse in a smallish city. The acreage was great because we had 3 acres and could go explore and do what we want.. but it was also stifling because we were stuck in the middle of nowhere. Ok when I was a kid, but I was glad we moved when I was getting older since it would be super boring for a teenager.
A house or large condo is ideal because you have more space, but kids don’t notice things like adults do.
Post # 14
I find this question amusing. Waiting for the Europeans/Asian/New Yorkers (ha!) to chime in.
Post # 15
@FauxBoho: there have been a few chime in as well.
For context purposes: she is from a fairly large city in the Midwest and we currently live in Tennessee. To her, cities like Nashville or Memphis are considered ” small”, I would consider them sizeable enough, but I am from a much smaller, and more rural area in the ” Deep South”. So, there’s that haha.
I voted that I would TTC/ have a child in an apt…. Although it would spur me/us to really up the ante on the house hunting. Our current apartment is located next to a busy street, with consistently loud neighbors ( although they’re very nice, most of the time).
Post # 16
I live in an apartment, but we do own it. Most people in NYC live in apartments though.