Post # 1
My step-cousin got married last year. After her invitations went out (four months before the wedding), she made non-stop rude/aggressive FB posts urging guests to RSVP or, “Don’t expect to get a seat or food.” There were many other rude posts she made, and she ended up alienating most of our family. Her own sister refused to come to her wedding because of her behavior. She invited over 200 guests and only about 40 came.
Well, step-cousin found out she was pregnant a few days before the wedding. About a week after the wedding, she started posting links to her baby registries on her FB page. She was six weeks pregnant, at that time.
Throughout the pregnancy, step-cousin has repeatedly posted links to her registries. She wrote, “I don’t guess anyone is gonna give me a baby shower…” and similar, wayyy before a baby shower should have ever been a concern of hers. Eventually, her SIL (who lives ten hours away) stepped up to the plate of planning and throwing the shower, because step-cousin has completely alientated all of the family here.
Baby shower invitations went out two weeks ago. Mine got sent to my mom’s house, so, I didn’t even know invitations had been sent until step-cousin started posting things on FB like, “If you have time to write stupid things on Facebook, you have time to respond to an RSVP!” and, “Don’t bother coming if you can’t bother to RSVP, because this is going to be a catered event!” I sent her a message telling her I couldn’t come, and so did some other relatives who are disgusted by these rude posts.
A part of me feels bad because I know there won’t be anyone at her shower next weekend, and maybe I should’ve just gone. But, then I also realize that it is her fault why no one wants to go to her shower. Should I still buy a gift and bring it to her? Or should I just not even worry about it? What would you do?
Post # 3
Wow…… she sounds like a delightful person that I would want to spend a day with!!!! Don’t worry about attending the shower or sending a gift. Obviously she didn’t learn anything from her wedding.
Post # 4
She sounds too pushy to me. I probably wouldn’t have RSVPed just because of how she was acting about it, but I definitely wouldn’t have gone. Good for you for RSVPing, at least.
Post # 5
Uh… no. Well, I might send her a book by Emily Post but that is it.
Post # 6
So my feeling is that the social disgrace of having no one show up to your shower pretty much trumps any monetary (gift) withholding.
IN that sense, I wouldn’t attend the shower either, but I would probably send a nice email declining the invite and then when the baby was born, I’d send a congratulatory card and a baby gift (maybe around $40)?
But I think you’re justified in doing neither, if that’s how you feel!
Post # 7
Wow! I definitely would NOT be a part of that! Nor would I get her any sort of gift. She seems like a real gem
Post # 8
And I wouldn’t bother with a gift..unless it was this onesie.
Post # 9
Nope. I wouldn’t have gone either. Most I would do is send a card.
Post # 10
@xlittlemissbridex: bahahaha that onsie definitely seems very fitting 🙂
Post # 11
I wouldn’t have gone either.
Post # 12
You wouldn’t see me there, either. She sounds very inconsiderate and pushy.
Post # 13
I would not have gone! I had a really good friend and we had so much in common, but once she started planning her wedding she started to act like your step-cousin. One day I just couldn’t handle her nasty attitude and negativity anymore so I cut ties with her. I’m still baffled by the things she posts on fb to this day.
My mom always says, “you reap what you sow”.
Post # 14
Definitely would not have gone! But I probably would send a card with any family members I knew were going. Like PP said- not having people there is worse than not getting gifts!
I do understand her frustration though… Getting people to RSVP to ANYTHING these days is a pain in the butt. No excuse for those posts though.
Post # 15
@Pinksapphire: It seems like she feels she is owed something… I can’t imagine treating people like that! The poor baby (sorry that’s how I feel though)! Because that who is really getting jipped here. But sadly there is nothing else you can do! She can’t keep thinking this behavior is okay! I’m surprised she didn’t learn at her wedding like a PP said!
How did she act after the wedding? Did she say anything at all?
I’m sorry she does need something said to her about this! And I wouldn’t spend more on a card than those $1 ones at Walmart since she’ll probably throw it right in the trash!
Post # 16
I feel really sorry for this baby. It is really sad that she has alienated her entire family and that poor little child won’t have people celebrating it.