(Closed) Would you hold off TTC if you were a BM in a good friend's wedding?

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
3241 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would continue to TTC when you originally planned on it.  I think a true friend will understand if you miss some activities and if you have to wear a different dress from the rest of the girls but in a matching color. 

Post # 4
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am sure your bride-to-be will be thrilled to have yu as part of her wedding, pregnant, just had a baby or trying, or none of the above! One of my BM’s was trying before our wedding, and I was totally fine with whatever outcome there was. If she is a great friend I’m sure she’ll be totally excited and hopefully be able to be somewhat flexible with things like the dress, depending on yoru situation. 

Of course, if you don’t get pregnant within your “comfortable”/early time frame, you could hold off for those months that would result in an Oct/November baby and avoid the stress of it all together. πŸ™‚

Best of luck!

Post # 5
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i had a pregnant Bridesmaid or Best Man and i was just thrilled for her.  i would of course been disappointed if she could no longer make it to my wedding (as it was in Jamaica, so i also would have understood 100%), but she insisted she was coming still and did! she was about 4 months pregnant at my wedding.  she had ordered her dress before she got pregnant (and she was not TTC), but luckily to be safe she got the bigger of the two sizes she was in between AND she had chosen an empire waist – so she had no problem wearing it still!  i would suggest you do something similar when you order your dress.

all that being said, i guess it depends on your friend, but i honestly think it shouldn’t matter AT ALL. unless you think you won’t be able to make it to the wedding that is, but i don’t see why you couldn’t.

Post # 6
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I think you should continue to TTC. I was just aske to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and will be 33 weeks pregnant at the wedding. The bride had to either let me wear a different dress than the other BMs or choose a style with a maternity option (which is what she did). If the wedding were any later, since we have to travel, I would’ve had to have said no, but you will know like 7-8 months  in advance if you would have such a conflict, which is plenty of time for the bride to make other arrangements.

I don’t think you should hold of on major life decisions because of other people’s major life decisions. You’re friends; they will be happy for you.

Post # 7
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Personally I wouldn’t want to be 8 or 9 months pregnant for fear of being incredibly uncomfortable, or having to miss the wedding alltogether. So I would start TTC and probably just take a 2 month break to avoid those last two months in the 3rd trimester. If you’re not in any rush to have kids, and would regret not being able to drink at her bachelorette party etc, then it might make sense to wait.

Post # 8
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It wouldn’t bother me at all to be a pregnant Bridesmaid or Best Man. We are planning to TTC in December and I’m a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a wedding June. It’s not ideal, but I don’t want to wait until after her wedding. I’ve already hinted at with the bride and she’s totally fine with.

Post # 9
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My BFF is getting married in the fall and I’m her Maid/Matron of Honor, and my husband and I have been TTC for a few months anyway.  I figure that I’m still her BFF whether I’m prego or not and she’ll love me nonetheless.  πŸ™‚  When you go to order your Bridesmaid or Best Man dress though, definitely let the consultant know what’s going on.  I had to order my dress at the beginning of the summer and I told my consultant that I may or may not be pregnant by the wedding.  He was really helpful, and basically ordered it as big as he could so that I had room if I needed it but they could still alter it to my normal size if not.  

Post # 10
3786 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I don’t think you should have to put your life on hold for 18 months.  She’ll understand πŸ™‚

Post # 11
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’m in the same boat.  My friend is getting married in Sept. 2013.  We’re TTC now, but if I’m not pregnant by Nov, we’re going to take a few months off just to make sure that I don’t have to miss the wedding because I’m too close to delivering (it’s out of town).  While I’d prefer to not look like a whale in her pictures, Darling Husband and I are ready now.  Hopefully, I’ll get pregnant in the next month or two and just have a little one by the time the wedding comes along πŸ™‚

Post # 12
1431 posts
Bumble bee

November 2013 is so far away I would def not put off TTC conceive for this. You have no control how long it will take and if a family is what you want that is far more important than a friends wedding. My Maid/Matron of Honor was preggers in mine but not really showing. I’ll admit it would have be someone of a bummer if she was extrememly pregnant and didn’t fit into the dress I had wanted but if that was the case I would have understood completely. Hopefully she would too but I think it is nice to consider this!

Post # 13
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would just continue on with your plans πŸ™‚

Post # 14
14337 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

The only reason I would postpone TTC would be for ME/US.  As much as I love my friends and family, I cant think of anything where I would put on hold my life and delay  having child if we were ready and wanted to… espeically a wedding.  Plenty of pregnant people are in weddings and participate just fine in celebrations.

Post # 16
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I wouldn’t hold off, either.  That sounds like a good plan about the dress!

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