Post # 1
Got this idea from a previous post talking about late or nonexistent thank-yous and whether or not it is MORE rude to point out the missing thank you card.
So bees, if [insert proper amount of time] has passed and you never received a thank you note for giving a gift at a wedding or being in the bridal party, would you say something to the bride or groom?
I’m curious now! Many believe it is rude not to send thank yous, but even more rude to bring it up. Some believe there is a good way to go about bringing it up. So let us know! What would you do?
Post # 3
@ValerieBee03: I would not let them know that i didn’t recieve a thank you card. If there was any doubt as to whether they received the gift or not (i.e. I brought it to the wedding and left it on a gift table) I might inquire 3-4 months after the fact.
I would definitely think less of a person who couldn’t be bothered to thank us promptly after 3 months however.
Post # 4
I would not mention it, honestly the less cards I receive the better, less clutter in the house and less trash (I have mentioned before here how much I dislike cards). I know it is expected, and I will do it for our wedding, so I might just think “huh, they never sent a card” and that would be all the thought I would give to it.
Post # 5
I guess you could nicely ask if they got your gift, but I wouldn’t imply that it was rude they didn’t send a card. This mostly bothers me because I want to make sure they actually received my gift!
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I did for a friend’s wedding that was in August 2012, which we couldn’t attend. It had been 9 months, and I sent the package just after their wedding when they were on a honeymoon… so I was legitimately concerned that it hadn’t arrived! I emailed him just to make sure they got it and it wasn’t stolen off the front porch or something. He was like “Yeah, thanks, it’s great, I guess we never sent out thank you cards, whoops!”
*eyeroll* Whoops indeed. Still no card. I’m not too uptight about etiquette, but that bugs me. I can’t go to your wedding but I still send a nice thoughtful gift, and you can’t be bothered to let me know it arrived or thank me?
Post # 7
Because of that thread I actually asked a close friend whose wedding was in APRIL and her response was she will get to it by christmas. I told her thats too long, and she basically said oh well.
Post # 8
I am more concerned to know if it was received rather than receiving the “thank you.”
Post # 9
Surprisingly a BUNCH of my relatives AND his were asking my mother and Mother-In-Law about our thank you cards – if we had sent them out yet, etc right after the wedding. I thought it was EXTREMELY RUDE. We got them out within 3 months (wedding in May, cards went out in late July) on top of a very busy Summer, but not before a few of these “inquiries” came through.
I thought it was more rude that after all the gifts were tallied more than a few of his very wealthy relatives didn’t even get us a congratulations card!
Post # 10
Immediately after my dad opened his Christmas presents, his parents would make him sit down and write his thank-you notes. My parents were a little more lax with me, but if you get a gift, you write a thank-you note as soon as you can. I wouldn’t harass the couple about it, but I’d probably ask other guests if they received thank you notes (to see if maybe they hadn’t gotten my gift), and I’d think it was pretty rude if no thank you notes were sent.
Post # 11
@jdhall89: yep this.
I voted I wouldn’t say anything to the couple but yea, I’d say something to other people…just being honest. I’d ask around to see if someone else got a thank you card and if the general consensus was “no”…I’d be judging away. It’s rude to not send a Thank You card. I’ve written them for EVERY gift EVER since I was able to write.
Post # 12
I would only rasie the issue if I had to ship the gift, thus having no way of knowing if they actually received it. Even tracking by the shipper doesn’t prove they received it, unless you require a signature. Many a package has gone astray after being left at the door or in a lobby.
I would couch my query in the context of being worried that the gift hadn’t been recived, not outright mentioning a thank you card.
Post # 13
No, that seems rude and petty to me
Post # 14
- Wedding: April 2013 - A court...
Yeah, I think it would be more rude to point it out or maybe that’s just because I’m non confrontational ? What are you even supposed to say? “You forgot to thank me “?
Post # 15
I would never point it out – but then, I could care less if I get a thank you card. Much bigger things to worry about.
Post # 16
It depends. If I shipped them a gift or cash I would ask them after a bit if they received it.