Post # 1
Looking for an opinion on my decision on BM “gifts.”
So I am REALLY not trying to to criticize anyone’s BM gift choices, but PERSONALLY, I am not into getting the traditional totes/clutches/flipflops/personalized wine glasses/jewelry. Those are all nice things, but all my girls have their own favorite totes and flipflops, and as for accessories, well they all have SUCH different tastes, I would have to get completely different kinds of jewelry or purses or whatever, and I wouldn’t want any of them getting upset if they thought someone else’s looked nicer.
So in lieu of these traditional gifts, I have decided to buy the girls their really nice BM dresses and pay for their hair and makeup (however they want it) for the wedding. They get to wear their choice of jewlery and whichever black shoes they like. The dresses are the nice silky jersey convertible ones in a royal purple that can be worn dozens of different ways, so it is for sure a dress they will wear again and again on many occasions. They get to express their personality and wear the dress in a unique way that flatters their body while still matching. The hair/makeup and dress would otherwise cost them around $200-250. The dresses are high quality the HMUAs also from a very well-respected bridal salon in our city.
What would you think as a BM of this? It’s not really a gift in the traditional sense, but just going off my personal preference, I would appreciate not having to spend money to be in the bridal party (I know it’s normal, but it’s always made me cringe) and I personally wouldn’t care about a useless engraved tote or glass. NO OFFENSE to anyone who likes this or is planning on giving something like that to their BMs. Again, it’s not a critique of anyone else, just my personal opinion.
What do you think?
Post # 4
That is awesome! I actually think that is very thoughtful and generous!
Post # 5
Yes as a BM I would love that – very generous of you!
Post # 7
I don’t really consider the hair and make-up a “gift”, since it is really for the benefit of your wedding. But not having to purchase the dress is nice, so I voted “yes” since it is taking away a pretty big cost for them, especially if it really is a dress that could be worn again (though the purple makes it less likely than a neutral color).
ETA: I’d probably still give them something small, even if it comes after the wedding, like a framed photo of the two of you from the wedding.
Post # 8
That’s pretty much what we did for our BMs. If you’re looking for other things to gift them, we also gave them necklaces to wear with their dresses and we paid for a mani pedi day for everyone the day before. I did feel bad that we didn’t get them anything that wasn’t wedding related though.
Post # 9
It is a gift from you to them, even if it’s something they have to wear at your wedding, as you said the dres cna be worn again to other events so they get to keep that portion long after your wedding is over.
Oh and I would LOVE that as a gift. What a treat. I wish I coul have done this for my girls but due to budget I just can’t. I made sure the dresses were less than $50 though. They’ll probably do their own hair and makeup too.
Post # 10
Some people will say that it doesn’t make it a gift since it’s for your wedding, but I personally would love it as a bridesmaid. I would rather have my expenses taken care of than flips flops, totes, etc. I think adding in a nice personal letter to each girl and/or a framed picture of the two of you together would add a nice touch.
Post # 11
I would love it! You are super generous!
Post # 13
OK I know I sound like a greedy bitch BUT you gave me the option not to pay a dime AND get a gift… DUHHHHH! LOL.
Reality: Even if you paid for all of this I’d still want a *small* gift! IE a personal picture of us to at your wedding, in a pretty frame, or a cute personalized photobook, or something small and meaningful in addition to you paying for everything.
Otherwise I’d pay my expenses, and expect to see a personalized not-so-small gift.
Post # 14
@hollyberry4: what a lovely idea! And thank you everyone else for the votes. I was also going to make them those personalized hangers.
Post # 15
Dang! People can get kinda greedy haha..weddings aren’t cheap..it’s not like it’s required to give gifts anyways, so I feel like getting anything I would appreciate so much.
Post # 16
i’d love it. The gift is saving money!