Post # 1
Okay, this is NOT meant to be a judgemental thread, just an honest one. Personally, I don’t care when somebody chooses to marry someone, how long they date, etc. I am just genuinely curious.
My FI and I went to our good friend’s wedding yesterday and they have known each other and have been together for 7 months. It was his first girl friend (they are in their mid-20’s) and they seem like a great couple. We are wishing the best for them.
On the other hand, my FI and I are getting married in 27 days (woohoo) and we have been dating for almost 10 years. Now, I wouldn’t recommend a decade, but it has worked out really well for us.
Personally, I don’t think I would marry someone until we had been together for at least 2 years. Not sure why exactly, but I feel like I would know a person well enough at that point to feel confident marrying them for life. Obviously life is not easy to plan out perfectly, but if you could have an ideal timeline, this is the place to mention it.
So bees, would you marry someone you have known less than a year? If not, what’s your year “minimum?” Let’s also keep this civil 🙂
Post # 3
I would not. IMO that’s not enough time for me to really get to know the person, find out if we can live together without killing each other, like each other’s families, etc.
Post # 4
@Westwood: I would have to agree, also, living together before marriage is a must for me. So how long do you think you would need to be with someone before deciding to marry them?
Post # 5
yes, I would and I did. I never thought I would, but it’s the way things worked out for me and my husband.
Post # 6
Yep, doing it next month. 🙂 when you know, you know. Well, we got engaged in less than a year, we would have known each other for almost 2 years by the time we get married.
**my parents got engaged within a month of meeting each other, married 4 minths later, and have been happily married for almost 40 years, 3 kids later. I think everyone is different! I would never date someone for many years and then marry them. I would want to know why they didn’t want to make the commitment sooner? But everyone as different circumstances and everyone has a different story!
Post # 7
Not sure. My SO and I discussed marriage on our first date and we knew each other for a couple years before we got together.
I think I would always wait for more than a year. By the time we get married, it’ll be around 3 years of being together.
Post # 8
From my personal experience, men tend to be on their “good behavior” for about the first 6 months of knowing them/dating. After that 6 month mark, I feel like the walls come down and you really get to see who that person is. I personally would want to wait until at least that long before even entertaining the idea of a marriage.
FH and I dated 2 months shy of 3 years before we got engaged and I feel like it was perfect timing, even though I knew I was going to marry him before I knew what his name was (but that’s. a story for a different day ;))
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2014 - local park
I agree- when you know, you know. I knew on the 3rd day of dating my fiance that he was the one I’d marry. We moved in together at 2 months and got engaged at 6 months…however we’d been taking about getting married and making plans since the first week together. 🙂
Post # 10
@bmo88: Probably not, but never say never.
Reason being, the honeymoon period with my OH lasted for like 2.5 years; and while, OK, we didn’t live together, we were spending 6 nights a week together. I would want to be past that honeymoon period, and at the stage where we were no longer wearing rose-tinted glasses, before making that kind of committment.
However, had we lived together that period may well have ended sooner; likewise, different relationships are different, so I wouldn’t say I would never marry someone after just a year.
I think age would also factor into it. I’m 26, will be nearly 28 when we marry, and so felt no real rush; we’ve been perfectly happy being boyfriend/girlfriend/engaged. I could see how if I were 50, I might feel time was too short to faff about waiting, and choose to marry sooner if it felt right. Likewise, I can also see women who want children marrying sooner.
I think that it’s entirely down to the individual couple; however, I do think people should know each other very well, and have had all the important discussions, before considering marriage.
Post # 11
I wouldn’t but I seen my co workers daughter do it after 6 months of knowing and being with this person and it worked out or at least is working so far. I need to live with my partner at least for a year which I did, before I jump into marriage.
Post # 12
No way. IMO, you need to experience holidays, births, deaths, other big events with someone before you marry them. By births, I don’t mean have a baby with them, I just mean big life events you share with your SO and each of your families. You need to see how they handle life and family situations, friends, etc. I would never marry anyone without being together at least 2 years.
Post # 13
I’m in my late 20s and I still wouldn’t feel comfortable marrying someone before the two-year mark. I had the “I just know” feeling with S/O early on, but I still needed to test things out for awhile.
I have a quasi-family member (long story) that married about six months after meeting her now-husband. They were in their mid-30s and it was a second marriage for both of them. Within six months of marrying, they were pregnant. It worked out great for them, but wow, I couldn’t imagine going through so many life changes in such a short period of time, no matter how hard my biological clock was ticking.
Post # 14
Theoretically, sure. Why not? When you know, you know.
In reality – if I met my current FH today, for example – I don’t think I would. I think I could go from friends to married in under a year, if we had known each other/been friends for a couple years.
Post # 15
I would, and I did! DH and I unofficially started living together after our first date, and knew we loved each other and were right for each other within 2 weeks. We got engaged just shy of 6 months, and married at 10 months. When you know, you know!
Post # 16
There was a point I’d have said no, but a good friend of mine was engaged to her husband after 6 months, they married shortly after their year anniversary, and they’re amazing together. As for myself I’d always thought I’d be with someone for years before getting engaged but FI proposed at the 13 month mark and it felt very right. I think there’s something to the saying “when you know you know.”
That being said, statistically it’s proven to be a poor idea to rush to the alter. Attila the Hun could be fun for a few dates…