Would you marry someone you have ONLY been long distance with?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you marry someone you have only been in a long distance relationship with?
    Yes, even if we had only met in person a few times. : (12 votes)
    7 %
    Only if we lived near/together for a while before marriage. : (35 votes)
    19 %
    No, I would need to know them better/interact on a daily basis more before even getting engaged. : (135 votes)
    74 %
    Other : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1021 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @bmo88:  absolutely not.  and i definitely wouldn’t get engaged to someone i have only known 1 year, let alone barely face to barely.  and from another continent. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    342 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    No way Jose!

    Post # 5
    Member
    3519 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I watch way too much Lifetime for that.

    Post # 6
    Member
    900 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @MrsLongcoatPeacoat:  hahahahahahahahahaha.  I LOVE Lifetime movies.  

    No way.  I wouldn’t even get engaged until I had lived with someone for at least a year.

    Post # 7
    Member
    9949 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    My husband and I were long-distance for…let’s see…from 2006 to 2011.  I moved here in August 2011, and we got engaged in April 2012.  So we lived together for like…9 months before getting engaged.  

    I’ve never done anything for this long before!  Well, friendship.  Reading.  …!

    Post # 8
    Member
    268 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @bmo88:  No. I actually know someone who got engaged to a guy she met online and they only ever met face to face for a total of 1 week and had been dating for only 4 months before he propsed to her the next time they met face to face. She dropped her whole life and moved across the country to live with him 2 months before the wedding after they had only seen each other a total of 4 weeks. I could never marry someone and drop my whole life for them when I essentially barely know them. It’s crazy!

    Post # 9
    Member
    3934 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @bmo88:   Absolutely not.  I don’t see why they can’t live together or near each other for a while before getting married.   

    Post # 10
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    No, but I’d never marry someone I hadn’t lived with or had sex with either. If all I had was distance and excited visits, I’m not sure I would have experienced the full realm of my partner or gotten to know him well enough. I’d never be in a LDR anyway, so kind of irrelevant in my case. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    4760 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @bmo88:  I voted no, but in your friend’s case I get it.  The US forces people to get married, I’m sure if their immigration process was anywhere on par with other developed nations then your friend wouldn’t have to get married.  

    It’s either the relationship ends, she moves to Africa (not sure if that would be hard as well), or they get married.

    Getting married seems like it could be the best  and easiest option.

    Post # 13
    Member
    268 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @bmo88:  Well they just moved in together this past weekend. Apparently it’s going amazing, but it’s still new. Their wedding is in 2 months so hopefully it works out for them, but I still that thats crazy! I don’t think they have even been together for a year yet!

    Post # 15
    Member
    5432 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

    Nope, Skype/texting/phone calls can only teach you so much about a person. I think you also need daily interactions for an extended period of time to get to know someone enough to marry them. I also wouldn’t marry someone I hadn’t lived with though so..

    Post # 16
    Member
    10986 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    @bmo88:  I did this.

    I met my DH via eHarmony, and we lived in different states, several hours apart. We communicated online first, then by phone.  Our first date was about two and a half months after we were “matched,” and we saw each other two (occasionally three) times a month after that.  We became engaged five months after our first date, and we were married 11 months later. 

    Not only was our entire dating relationship and engagement period long distance, but also, I had to spend half of every week of almost our entire first year of marriage living and working in my city/state until I could sell my house, resign from my job, and relocate to be with my DH (and his children) full time.

    I will say that I experienced a nearly overwhelming  and tremendously  challenging transition in going from a never-married, 40-something-year-old career woman who lived alone in her own house in major metropolitan area and who enjoyed a very rewarding career and happy life with many wonderful friends in my former city to the wife of a pastor and stepmother of multiple kids living in a very small town in a very rural area of another state, where I knew no one and still have not been able to find a job.  This type of radical life change involves a long period of adjustment and would not be for the faint of heart, lol. 🙂 

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