- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
I’ve always struggled with mild/bouts of depression my whole life. I’ve been seeing a therapist for almost a year now. So I am trying to cope and deal with it.
Today is just a bad day tho. And I’m 17 wks pregnant so the hormones dont help at all.
Anyways, point of this post is that I hate where we live. I own it with my ex. It’s in foreclosure. He wants nothing to do with it. And I’ve already filed for bankruptcy and was discharged – so i still own it but the bk protects me from the foreclosure…Right now, we still aren’t paying the mortgage….we try to keep up with the property, utilities, etc.. do what we can without dumping a crap load of money into it like it really needs. We had moved out last year but had to move back cuz we found out I was pregnant and we could save the rent money by moving back in the house…
We had to replace the kitchen ceiling cuz it was leaking. We ripped up the floor cuz it was carpet and had mold from the leak….so the kitchen is still left empty and waiting to be finished sanding, painting, needs new floor laid down, etc….the basement had mold which DH did clean up the other day so hopefully that is all gone now…. The electric system in the whole house is a nightmare. The yard is gigantic with trees falling left and right with any little storm that passes through. The back steps is in need of repair. The tiny and only bathroom is still unfinished from the way my ex and i left it when we split up. I step foot in that house and all i can think of is how much crap it still needs and how i have no desire to finish it even if i could do it all my self, which i cant cuz i’m pregnant….and my husband can do but so much cuz he work 11 hr shifts and isn’t that handy. and i cant pay anyone to do it. and i dont really have a lot of ppl who actually could help me with this crap…
Financially, everything points to us staying there to save money until they force us out. i mean, its not like it isnt livable… but i dread going home after work. i hate it there and when the baby comes if we’re still living there, i’ll have to be there 24/7. I hate living in a house we can’t make our own cuz we aren’t keeping it. I want to just move now but DH wants to save as much as we can, especially since we have LO on the way….
Part of me just needed to vent…I just dont know what to do….i dont want to regret moving and not being able to save money just because i cant get over myself… 🙁
Part of me feels like I’m just ready to move on. and i cant tell if the house is contributing to my mood swings or not…. 🙁
what would you do?
Note: I’m already having a bad day….I’d rather not get any negative feedback on the foreclosure aspect of the situation and the whole ‘living rent free’ part…..I already feel bad enough about the whole situation. Thanks in advance.