Post # 1
So it’s been on my mind lately, if a close family member was ill or dying, would you push a wedding so they could be there?
One of my coworkers planned her wedding around an aunt that was dying so she could be there. And this week I am visiting my grandma who is 86 years old and really seeing how her age is wearing on her and its getting harder for her to walk and see. I’m trying not to get ahead of myself but I am incredibly close to my grandma and she has been extreamly influential in my life and it is absolutely pivotal to me that she is at my wedding in good health, even if it means an earlier wedding. My SO and I have been dating and living together almost 4 years (he has met and loves my grandma as well) and while we are sure we will get married and are fully capable of doing so, it really is not that important to us to get married right away. But I feel like when I go home I do need to tell him how important this is to me and at least duscuss and prepare for the possibility if worst comes to worst. Hopefully this will not be an issue but I would like to at least be prepared to have an earlier wedding if it means my grandma can attend, any one have an experience similar?
Post # 3
@ash064: I really wanted my Grandmother at my wedding. I only have a handful of family, and she has always been the light of my life. My wedding isn’t until March and she passed away from a very short and painful battle with an aggressive cancer. I do plan on having a chair especially for her. I really haven’t even came to terms with her death, and if I think about her not being there I start weeping.
You refer to your spouse as your SO. Does this mean you’re not engaged yet?
Post # 4
A friend of mine moved hers up for her grandmother as well. Family is just SO important to me. If you know you’re going to get married anyways, why not just go for it so that loved one will be there?
Post # 5
I haven’t dealt with this personally. However, I think that I would absolutely move my wedding up in this situation.
Post # 7
I wish we had moved ours up before FI grandmother died. She wanted us to get married so badly almost from the minute we met. I don’t have a relationship with either of my grandmothers so I was very close to her and it’s very sad she won’t be there when we finally do get married. She died about 6 months after we got engaged, we knew her time was limited as she was 96 but we were all in denial about it, i wish we had have thought it through more and bought it forward.
Post # 8
I did this last year but the date ended up not working. I changed the wedding date from April 2013 to Nov. 2012 but I lost my job and we couldnt afford it. So we had to start over fresh and plan the wedding once again for April 2013. I REALLY wanted my grandmother to attend. She is the last grandparent I have left and we are VERY close. DH’s grandmother had passed April 2012. That’s what had me thinking about this. But I’m glad she was able to be there:
Post # 9
Yes, most definately. It’s my biggest fear that my parents won’t be there. So FH and I have a plan B if needed. Registry Office and Restaurant next year if my mum is poorly again. She’s lives in a constant tension of well and gravely ill in hours. Stupid horrible COPD!
Post # 10
My MIL is dying and we’ve moved our wedding from March 2014 to Sep of this year. But in the meantime we just, very unexpectadly, lost my nana. If she really means so much to you then I say move it. I’ve also found you start to value what’s really important in a wedding (the ones you love and your marriage) rather than getting too hung up on the details 🙂
Post # 11
In a heartbeat. Coolest thing ever was a family on my floor had the dad in hospice and the dil to be said “screw all the plans and lets get married” so they had their ceremony in his hospital room. The dad died like four days later after less than six weeks battle with cancer. The family showed us pictures, it was precious.
Post # 12
- Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2
@chasesgirl: Your story made me tear up. That’s really sweet 🙂
Post # 13
I wouldn’t be able to do that. I can only get time off work during very specific parts of the year… so I wouldn’t be able to even if I wanted to.
Post # 14
I would love to but we wouldn’t be able to as financially we can’t afford to live together yet and with my health at the moment the stress would be too much.
Post # 15
We considered it but ultimately I’m glad we didnt – mainly because the date we had chosen to move it to (the first date we could legally get married one month one day after putting in the paperwork) was the day after my dad died 🙁 so yeah it would’ve been too late and sad to do it then. I spoke to dad about it – he had terminal cancer and went downhill fast and honestly even if we’d done it the day we got engaged he was already too sick. Our wedding 8 months after dad died was still beautiful and we tried to honour him the best we could.
BTW I did manage to involve my dad with as much planning as possible – like he knew what my dress looked like (he came out shopping with me on a lucid day) and our rings etc. He wanted this as hard as it was for all of us to do knowing he wouldn’t be there short of a miracle 🙁
Post # 16
Yes. I have. My fiancé and I were getting married on the 8th September this year (2013) but my Mum, who means the world to me,was diagnosed with secondary cancer this year. We found out that it is classed as terminal, but that there is no way of knowing how long she has – it may be years away (I hope every day that this will be the case) But no one knows. She could come down very sick again in any case, so while she is fairly healthy and doing well, we pulled our wedding forward to this weekend (21st July). We cancelled our original wedding and pulled it together in 12 weeks. It can be done! For me, it was essential. My Dad passed 10 years ago, to think that my Mum may not be at my wedding too was unbearable. At least now, I’ll have her by my side throughout one of the most significant days of my life.