Post # 1
Hi Everyone. I thought I would attempt this posting as controversial as it is…
There was a posting a few days ago about a Bee purchasing a non diamond ring. People decide different things for different reasons and no one had a problem with this aspect of the situation. But, the Bee wanted to tell family, friends and everyone else the ring was a diamond. It happens and this Bees decision didn’t phase me one way or the other. But, people started getting very VERY mad! It was quite the arguement going back and forth between the Bee wanting to pass her ring as diamond to other Bee’s feeling like you should never lie about the type stone you have no matter what!
I will state my opinion for the record and say I feel it’s the Bee’s choice either way. If someone tries to pass their stone as a diamond I feel its an individual decision. I do not feel a person is a bad person for ‘passing’ their stone as something else. And I will state for the record that I have never ever had friends or family ask if my stone was a real diamond or not. Its weird for me to even think people would ask me such a question.
Keep in mind…
I wish for everyone to voice their opinions. But, the last thread on this subject did get closed because the conversation got to heated. Carry on Bee’s! Let’s hear what you think!
Post # 2
this will likely get closed too, unfortunately. however, never under any circumstance would I pass it off as a diamond. I think its just wrong. Be proud of what you have… whether it be a moissy, cz, diamond, etc.
Post # 3
I think if it is a clear, sparkly stone- people will just assume it’s a diamond. (Whether it’s a moissy or a really clean CZ). If it “passes” as a diamond- it’s not like they’re going to ask you if it’s a diamond, many people are unaware of the alternatives available.
If people want to explain what it is, that’s up to them really. It isn’t like you go around wearing a t-shirt that says “Ask me about moissanite”.
Post # 4
I chose a moissanite because I actually prefer it to a diamond, so I don’t really have a reason to pass it off as something it isn’t. However, when it comes to vanity and luxury items, people are often passing things off that they aren’t (i.e. make-up, dyed hair, faux fur, etc), so I don’t see why people care so much. I have siding on my house that is made to look like wood, but I don’t feel like having to paint/treat real wooden siding all the time and I’m comfortable with that choice. No one questions me about it lol.
Post # 5
I think if you are going to buy a non diamond you should be proud of it and be honest about what it is. If you know you will be ashamed of not having a diamond then get a diamond. Why wear something you are not proud of?
Post # 6
I wonder if the Bees who were upset that someone would try to pass a CZ or Moiss as a diamond would also think that women who get compliments on their figure should be required to disclose that they are wearing Spanx, or have had Botox, breast augmentation surgery, are wearing air-brushed make-up, etc…
Personally, I don’t care if someone wants to pass their ring off as diamond. I assume most people who see mine assume it is diamond, and I don’t correct them. But I don’t straight up tell anyone my ring is a diamond – mostly because I don’t want to be associated with the blood diamond trade and judged, also because I don’t feel insecure about it.
I guess would discourage anyone from lying to close family members because of the possibility of the truth being discovered and the liar looking like a fool… but then again, people pull off family-wide deceptions all the time. And a ring is such a small, silly thing, it seems unlikely a lie about a ring would end up causing anyone harm.
I think some women with diamond rings might feel pressure to prevent non-diamond-owners from lying about it because, if lying/passing becomes socially acceptable, the non-diamond-owners will receive the exact same social approbation for having a huge expensive rock, while in reality having paid only a tiny fraction of the price of a real diamond of the same size.
Post # 7
Would I ever intentionally lie to someone’s face and tell them my ring is a diamond when it is not? Nope. Do people mistake it for one? All the time I’m sure. If I get a compliment on my pretty ring, I say “Thank you.” If I get a compliment on my “pretty diamond” I say “Thanks, it’s actually moissanite!” and leave it at that, unless the person I’m talking to has questions, which I am happy to answer.
My reasons for choosing to not ‘pass’ my white sparkly stone as another one boils down to this (for me): I don’t have a problem with the idea of other people having opinions one way or the other on my belongings, I don’t particularly care if others judge me for not living up to their expectations of what I should or should not own, or who I should or should not be. The people whose opinions I decide matter to me don’t judge me based on my engagement ring. I’m comfortable with who I am and what I own, and don’t want to be anything or anyone different.
This isn’t to say these are the reasons anyone else may or may not choose to try and ‘pass’ a stone off as one it is not, but really, who cares? I certainly won’t judge someone for having a different view point or opinion than me on the subject.
Post # 8
I tell anyone who seems like they might be receptive to it that my engagement ring and wedding ring are moissanite. Like housebee, I have it because I prefer it to diamonds and other gemstones, so I feel absolutely no shame in explaining my choice. The reason I dislike (mildly, not enough to argue about it) the idea of passing non-diamonds off as diamonds is simply because it perpetuates the mindset that diamonds are a necessary component of legitimate engagement/wedding jewelry, and everything else is there for people who can’t afford diamonds.
I taught college students during the previous academic year, and a couple of the guys asked me if my ring was a real diamond. I told them it wasn’t a real diamond, nor a fake diamond, that it was a different stone entirely. A few weeks later, it turned out they had thought I wasn’t actually engaged because the ring on my finger didn’t have a diamond in it. That is precisely why I wish more people would proudly show off their non-diamonds for what they are. Mostly though, I don’t really care, it just makes me a little sad for the people who are uncomfortable with their choice.
ETA: I did get a barely pink moissanite in the hopes that people would notice that it’s not a colorless diamond, but my experience with it has only confirmed that nobody pays enough attention to notice.
Post # 9
I’m not a fan of trying to pass of any luxury item as something that it isint. By luxury item I mean shoes, bags, clothes, jelwery, cars etc etc. I don’t think make up and faux fur is in the same category to address pp’s comment. yes makeup cleans us up, but it’savailible to everyone no matter what income level they are at, and even high end designers use faux fur for ethical reasons. it’s blatantly different when you go out a buy a fake Rolex, let’s be honest you aren’t buying it because you like the way it looks, you are buying it to portray a certain level of success and income and to pass yourself off being something that you are not. Maybe you do like the way it looks, but you can sure as heck buy smth similar that dsnt say Rolex on it. I think most people who buy these nock off items don’t realize that it’s actually quite noticeable to those who can actually afford the items that they are knock offs. it’s embarrassing for them, and kinda sad, I mean who are you trying to impress and why? Your friends knowyour fincincal status and they will still be your friend no matter what luxury goods you do or don’t have.
Now on to rings. I fully get that wanting a white stone ring is totally different than buying a fake Chanel bag and trying to pass it off. You can buy a black bag (or whatever color) anywhere and enjoy the style without it having to be pretending smth it’s not. You can’t do that with a ring, a white stone is a white stone and if it’s not a diamond some people will assume you are tying to pass it off as something it’s not, even if you aren’t Wich isint fair. I see absolutely nothing wrong with getting a diamond alternative (in white) if that’s the style you like! I rSally want moissy earrings now after coming on these boards because the stone is so so pretty and I love how they catch different colors. But I’m not going to buy them because I want anyone to think they are diamonds, just think they are pretty. The issue arises when people try to buy 3 carat white stones and pretend that they are diamonds. just like I said above, why?!? Who cares?! Who are you trying to impress?! Your friends know you can’t afford it and what do you care what strangers think? I don’t know that’s my two cents about the subject.
Post # 10
chica95110: I guess it depends what you mean by ‘pass’.
If you’re asking if I would outright lie and without prompting say ‘look at my diamond ring!’ then no, I would never do that. I also wouldn’t say ‘yeah, it’s diamond’ if someone asked directly if it wasn’t.
However, if I had a non-diamond ring I probably wouldn’t volunteer that information without being directly asked. Eg if someone said ‘your ring is beautiful!’ I wouldn’t say ‘Thank you! It isn’t diamond though!’
FWIW I think it’s pretty riude to ask someone what their stone is; I’ve only been asked a few times, by people either lacking in manners, or who are young and pretty innocent and don’t see an issue. But for the most part if people compliment my ring they just say it’s beautiful/pretty/sparkly/whatever and I see no need for me to mention what the stones are.
Post # 11
I have an Asha CZ and no one IRL has ever asked me what it is. I think everyone just assumes it’s a diamond, and I don’t pipe up and announce that it’s an Asha. If someone asked me, I would be honest, but I think it’s pretty rude to go around asking people if their stones are real diamonds, just like it’s rude to go around asking people if their hair color is natural.
Post # 12
I think it’s sad that some women are ashamed of what they have and have negative feelings about their ring. If you have a sim, rock it for what it is. I would never want to have the negative feelings that I get from lying about something that means so much to me.
We thought about getting a sim for all of a millisecond, then realized that we would never want to lie or pass it off as something it’s not. Our decision to save for a diamond delayed the engagement for over a year to save $, but I got exactly what I wanted, and when someone asks if it’s real-I get to proudly tell them it is.
To each their own though; if you want to spend money on something that you’re ashamed of and don’t really want-if you indeed wanted a diamond but instead got a sim-then that’s your porogative.
Post # 13
chica95110: I am confused as to how this is even an issue. Do people actually ask, “is your ring a diamond?” If so, all I can say is how glad I am that my social circle isn’t so boorish.
Post # 14
ohnatto: I have a green sapphire so it doesn’t really affect me, but this is what I was going to say too. “I think some women with diamond rings might feel pressure to prevent non-diamond-owners from lying about it because, if lying/passing becomes socially acceptable, the non-diamond-owners will receive the exact same social approbation for having a huge expensive rock, while in reality having paid only a tiny fraction of the price of a real diamond of the same size.”
Post # 15
I’m going to play devil’s advocate here for a minute….
I don’t have a moissy or CZ or white sapphire BUT I often wonder if people get mad that others will try and pass it off as a diamond bc it’s usually a larger size stone so it’s a jealousy thing? Honestly, I don’t care if someone wants to pass off ANYTHING as something that it isn’t. It could be jewelry, Chanel, hair, etc. I guess I just don’t understand the anger and why it’s such a big deal. Most of the time others know that the item isn’t what the person is trying to pass it off as so who cares?