would you pass your non diamond as a diamond?

posted 2 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Would you ever try to 'pass' your stone as a diamond?
    Yes, I would totally tell people my stone is a diamond and not give it a second thought. : (73 votes)
    39 %
    No, I would never ever 'pass' my non diamond as a diamond. : (113 votes)
    61 %
  • Post # 2
    920 posts
    Busy bee

    this will likely get closed too, unfortunately. however, never under any circumstance would I pass it off as a diamond. I think its just wrong. Be proud of what you have… whether it be a moissy, cz, diamond, etc. 

    Post # 3
    564 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016


    I think if it is a clear, sparkly stone- people will just assume it’s a diamond. (Whether it’s a moissy or a really clean CZ).  If it “passes” as a diamond- it’s not like they’re going to ask you if it’s a diamond, many people are unaware of the alternatives available.

    If people want to explain what it is, that’s up to them really. It isn’t like you go around wearing a t-shirt that says “Ask me about moissanite”.

    Post # 4
    8390 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I chose a moissanite because I actually prefer it to a diamond, so I don’t really have a reason to pass it off as something it isn’t.  However, when it comes to vanity and luxury items, people are often passing things off that they aren’t (i.e. make-up, dyed hair, faux fur, etc), so I don’t see why people care so much.  I have siding on my house that is made to look like wood, but I don’t feel like having to paint/treat real wooden siding all the time and I’m comfortable with that choice.  No one questions me about it lol.

    Post # 5
    594 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I think if you are going to buy a non diamond you should be proud of it and be honest about what it is. If you know you will be ashamed of not having a diamond then get a diamond. Why wear something you are not proud of?

    Post # 6
    1131 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I wonder if the Bees who were upset that someone would try to pass a CZ or Moiss as a diamond would also think that women who get compliments on their figure should be required to disclose that they are wearing Spanx, or have had Botox, breast augmentation surgery, are wearing air-brushed make-up, etc…

    Personally, I don’t care if someone wants to pass their ring off as diamond. I assume most people who see mine assume it is diamond, and I don’t correct them. But I don’t straight up tell anyone my ring is a diamond – mostly because I don’t want to be associated with the blood diamond trade and judged, also because I don’t feel insecure about it.

    I guess would discourage anyone from lying to close family members because of the possibility of the truth being discovered and the liar looking like a fool… but then again, people pull off family-wide deceptions all the time. And a ring is such a small, silly thing, it seems unlikely a lie about a ring would end up causing anyone harm.

    I think some women with diamond rings might feel pressure to prevent non-diamond-owners from lying about it because, if lying/passing becomes socially acceptable, the non-diamond-owners will receive the exact same social approbation for having a huge expensive rock, while in reality having paid only a tiny fraction of the price of a real diamond of the same size.

    Post # 7
    1408 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Would I ever intentionally lie to someone’s face and tell them my ring is a diamond when it is not? Nope. Do people mistake it for one? All the time I’m sure. If I get a compliment on my pretty ring, I say “Thank you.” If I get a compliment on my “pretty diamond” I say “Thanks, it’s actually moissanite!” and leave it at that, unless the person I’m talking to has questions, which I am happy to answer.

    My reasons for choosing to not ‘pass’ my white sparkly stone as another one boils down to this (for me): I don’t have a problem with the idea of other people having opinions one way or the other on my belongings, I don’t particularly care if others judge me for not living up to their expectations of what I should or should not own, or who I should or should not be. The people whose opinions I decide matter to me don’t judge me based on my engagement ring. I’m comfortable with who I am and what I own, and don’t want to be anything or anyone different.

    This isn’t to say these are the reasons anyone else may or may not choose to try and ‘pass’ a stone off as one it is not, but really, who cares? I certainly won’t judge someone for having a different view point or opinion than me on the subject.


    Post # 8
    1801 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I tell anyone who seems like they might be receptive to it that my engagement ring and wedding ring are moissanite. Like housebee, I have it because I prefer it to diamonds and other gemstones, so I feel absolutely no shame in explaining my choice. The reason I dislike (mildly, not enough to argue about it) the idea of passing non-diamonds off as diamonds is simply because it perpetuates the mindset that diamonds are a necessary component of legitimate engagement/wedding jewelry, and everything else is there for people who can’t afford diamonds. 

    I taught college students during the previous academic year, and a couple of the guys asked me if my ring was a real diamond. I told them it wasn’t a real diamond, nor a fake diamond, that it was a different stone entirely. A few weeks later, it turned out they had thought I wasn’t actually engaged because the ring on my finger didn’t have a diamond in it. That is precisely why I wish more people would proudly show off their non-diamonds for what they are. Mostly though, I don’t really care, it just makes me a little sad for the people who are uncomfortable with their choice. 

    ETA: I did get a barely pink moissanite in the hopes that people would notice that it’s not a colorless diamond, but my experience with it has only confirmed that nobody pays enough attention to notice. 

    Post # 9
    867 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I’m not a fan of trying to pass of any luxury item as something that it isint. By luxury item I mean shoes, bags, clothes, jelwery, cars etc etc. I don’t think make up and faux fur is in the same category to address pp’s comment. yes makeup cleans us up, but it’savailible  to everyone no matter what income level they are at, and even high end designers use faux fur for ethical reasons.   it’s blatantly different when you go out a buy a fake Rolex, let’s be honest you aren’t buying it because you like the way it looks, you are buying it to portray a certain level of success and income and to pass yourself off being something that you are not. Maybe you do like the way it looks, but you can sure as heck buy smth similar that dsnt say Rolex on it. I think most people who buy these nock off items don’t realize that it’s actually quite noticeable to those who can actually afford the items that they are knock offs. it’s embarrassing for them, and kinda sad, I mean who are you trying to impress and why? Your friends knowyour  fincincal status and they will still be your friend no matter what luxury goods you do or don’t have. 

    Now on to rings. I fully get that wanting a white stone ring is totally different than buying a fake Chanel bag and trying to pass it off. You can buy a black bag (or whatever color) anywhere and enjoy the style without it having to be pretending smth it’s not. You can’t do that with a ring, a white stone is a white stone and if it’s not a diamond some people will assume you are tying to pass it off as something it’s not, even if you aren’t Wich isint fair.  I see absolutely nothing wrong with getting a diamond alternative (in white) if that’s the style you like! I rSally want moissy earrings now after coming on these boards because the stone is so so pretty and I love how they catch different colors. But I’m not going to buy them because I want anyone to think they are diamonds, just think they are pretty.  The issue arises when people try to buy 3 carat white stones and pretend that they are diamonds. just like I said above, why?!? Who cares?! Who are you trying to impress?! Your friends know you can’t afford it and what do you care what strangers think? I don’t know that’s my two cents about the subject. 

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  BWLE.
    Post # 10
    5399 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2014

    chica95110:  I guess it depends what you mean by ‘pass’.

    If you’re asking if I would outright lie and without prompting say ‘look at my diamond ring!’ then no, I would never do that. I also wouldn’t say ‘yeah, it’s diamond’ if someone asked directly if it wasn’t.

    However, if I had a non-diamond ring I probably wouldn’t volunteer that information without being directly asked. Eg if someone said ‘your ring is beautiful!’ I wouldn’t say ‘Thank you! It isn’t diamond though!’

    FWIW I think it’s pretty riude to ask someone what their stone is; I’ve only been asked a few times, by people either lacking in manners, or who are young and pretty innocent and don’t see an issue. But for the most part if people compliment my ring they just say it’s beautiful/pretty/sparkly/whatever and I see no need for me to mention what the stones are.

    Post # 11
    2007 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I have an Asha CZ and no one IRL has ever asked me what it is. I think everyone just assumes it’s a diamond, and I don’t pipe up and announce that it’s an Asha. If someone asked me, I would be honest, but I think it’s pretty rude to go around asking people if their stones are real diamonds, just like it’s rude to go around asking people if their hair color is natural. 

    Post # 12
    529 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I think it’s sad that some women are ashamed of what they have and have negative feelings about their ring. If you have a sim, rock it for what it is. I would never want to have the negative feelings that I get from lying about something that means so much to me. 

    We thought about getting a sim for all of a millisecond, then realized that we would never want to lie or pass it off as something it’s not. Our decision to save for a diamond delayed the engagement for over a year to save $, but I got exactly what I wanted, and when someone asks if it’s real-I get to proudly tell them it is.

    To each their own though; if you want to spend money on something that you’re ashamed of and don’t really want-if you indeed wanted a diamond but instead got a sim-then that’s your porogative.

    Post # 13
    455 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    chica95110:  I am confused as to how this is even an issue. Do people actually ask, “is your ring a diamond?” If so, all I can say is how glad I am that my social circle isn’t so boorish.

    Post # 14
    1487 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    ohnatto:  I have a green sapphire so it doesn’t really affect me, but this is what I was going to say too. “I think some women with diamond rings might feel pressure to prevent non-diamond-owners from lying about it because, if lying/passing becomes socially acceptable, the non-diamond-owners will receive the exact same social approbation for having a huge expensive rock, while in reality having paid only a tiny fraction of the price of a real diamond of the same size.”



    Post # 15
    8720 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I’m going to play devil’s advocate here for a minute….

    I don’t have a moissy or CZ or white sapphire BUT I often wonder if people get mad that others will try and pass it off as a diamond bc it’s usually a larger size stone so it’s a jealousy thing? Honestly, I don’t care if someone wants to pass off ANYTHING as something that it isn’t. It could be jewelry, Chanel, hair, etc. I guess I just don’t understand the anger and why it’s such a big deal. Most of the time others know that the item isn’t what the person is trying to pass it off as so who cares?

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