Post # 1
This is assuming that you are financially able to do so. Why or why not? Also, feel free to share whether your parents paid for your wedding. Do you have any conditions or strings attached? i.e. “only if they’ve finished college” or “only they’re past a certain age.”
Post # 2
If I can, I would be happy to. My parents are paying for the reception, and we are so greatful!
Post # 3
We’d want to help pay for it, as long as it was reasonable. My husband just said something about a tiara not being reasonable, lol.
Our parents helped us, too.
I think it’s a nice thing to do if you can afford it. I also think weddings are a little ridiculous in their cost, though.
Post # 4
Yes, I would, assuming I had the means to do so and the child wanted my help. Of course, if I host, I will expect to help in the decision making and will set parameters.
Post # 5
Sure I would. I don’t see any problem with parents wanting to pay for the wedding. I don’t think it should be expected, and that seems to be where the problems come into the picture – especially if the bride wants it paid for while maintaining complete control of the planning.
As for me, FI and I are getting married at the courthouse and going on a cruise for our honeymoon. We paid 100% for that and couldn’t afford anything beyond that. My mom just recently surprised us with an offer to host a casual family gathering at her home after the courthouse ceremony. I’m really looking forward to it.
Post # 6
Definitely. Our parents paid for all of our wedding, it’s pretty much expected in my area, but it did have the condition that I had to gradauate college. We plan to start wedding and college funds as soon as the kids are born. I would feel terrible if I couldn’t provide what I consider the duties of the parents. Our parents had stimulations on paying for our college and weddings and we plan to do that same (we will pay for a useful degree, weddings if he’s not a crackhead, etc).
Post # 7
I wouldn’t pay for the whole thing, but I really hope I am in the position to help out significantly if and when my daughter gets married.
I didn’t get much from my parents (Mom really doesn’t have the $$ to spare, and while Dad promised to pay for my dress, he didn’t), and while I never expected them to give me anything, it still would have been nice.
It would just make me feel good to know that I could help my daughter with her wedding, and take some of the financial strain out of the situation when her and her hubby (or wife) are starting their lives together.
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Maybe. We’d have to see when the time comes and make a decision based on the exact situation.
My parents paid for 1/2 of my dress, our venue fee, and our newlywed breakfast. We were surprised when they offered to pay for things, seeing as I was 31 years old with a good career, my own household, a kid already, etc. We planned to pay for everything ourselves.
Post # 9
No. I consider it’s an independant adults’ choice to get married and sorry, but having a big affair is a luxury, not an obligation. That being said, I would offer a significant gift the day-of and help with planning all along if needed. I’d probably feel offended if my kid came to me and expected me to pay for it. Maybe it’s a cultural thing but we didn’t expect our parents to pay (they aren’t) and they didn’t expect my grandparents to pay for their wedding either 35 years ago. Help is fine and generous, but it shouldn’t be taken for granted that parents, even well-off, should pay for anyone’s wedding but their own.
Post # 10
I would definitely pay for it if I could afford it, but I’d put a reasonable budget on it. I would want to be the ‘host’ and have strings attached – i.e. be involved in the decision making. My parents paid for my wedding, and did an excellent job of walking the fine line of being involved and letting me plan, so I’d want to do similiar.
Post # 11
I would help pay for (or possibly fully pay for) a wedding if I approved of the relationship. I’d also want to know that my son or daughter was mature enough to make this decision (I’m not paying for 18 year old puppy love shenannigans). I’m not talking me and the fiance/e have to be besties or anything, but if there’s no abuse, drug use, immorality or general aint-ish-ness and my child seems sure that he or she is “the one,” then I’d pretty much be on board. Also, it wouldn’t be a given. DS or DD would have to properly and respectfully ask me to host their wedding and give me some time to think it over.
My paying for college, for example, is a given.
My parents didn’t help with my wedding, but I also didn’t ask them to. Beyond that: (1) I was more than able to afford it and (2) I have the type of mother who would have held that over my head forever.
Post # 12
Overjoyed: As long as it’s reasonable and within our means. I feel like I would give x amount, and it would be enough to cover majority of what a normal wedding would cost in the area.
My parents gave us $2k for our $25k wedding and we were hearbroken when we heard it. Not because they were giving so little, but because we know they are financially more than capable of paying for most if not all of the wedding, but they just didn’t want to contribute to something so frivilous as a wedding.
Instead, my FI’s amazing parents are picking up majorty of the rest of the tab AND the rehearsal dinner. I am so grateful to them. Because of this generosity, my FI is set on paying for our child’s wedding. I am still ok with making them pay for SOMETHING, though. You always want to spend less when it’s your own money you’re spending…
Post # 13
Ugh, my parents kindly paid for a large portion of our wedding, but it came with so much emotional luggage that I would have turned it flat down had I just had any idea of what were to come. So no, I would NOT tell my child that we would pay “If” they did so and so. I would however want to help as much as I could and was allowed to – I know what a financial strain a wedding can be, so if we have the means when that day comes I would really want to be able to help out.
Post # 14
Overjoyed: I didn’t see this, but I completely agree with all of this. College is 100%, so if we could afford the wedding after, lol! I would need to 100% approve of the relationship, of course.
My parent’s are paying 2k only because my mom is the sweetest person in the world. Without her, my dad wouldn’t have thought twice of just saying no. And he holds it over my head all the time, money is his thing.
But my FI and I were not able to afford it on our own and his parent’s are amazing people and reassured us they would cover any remaining costs (and no emotional baggage).
Post # 15
I think I’d want to contribute a certain amount of money flat out. If they had a modest wedding, it might cover everything…if they wanted to go big then it would fall on them to pay the difference. My family was unable to contribute a whole lot financially for our wedding (my grandmother bought my dress, my mother paid for the rehearsal dinner, and my uncle paid for photography), so my husband’s family paid for the majority of it. I’m very thankful for the help we got, but honestly, I wish someone would have just given us some no strings attached money…like “here’s $5000…budget it how you will.” I felt like not having a real number budget made me feel unsure of how much I could spend on certain things.