Post # 1
We received a wedding gift from DH’s mom yesterday. The first part was great – a huge gumbo pot. Darling Husband was very excited. He loves to make gumbo.
Part II was where we were a little weirded out. She sent about 8 Christmas ornaments, all of which were originally given to her by DH’s dad. One per year for a while. Sounds lovely, yes? Kicker is – they’re divorced. Have been divorced for a while. Both are now remarried. They don’t really talk anymore, though they live in the same small town. I choose to put the best spin on this and assume she thought Darling Husband would love having some ornaments from his childhood, but we really don’t want to put them on the tree. Their divorce was not amicable, and it just feels weird.
What do you think?
Post # 3
I guess it depends on his situation with his dad. If it is a good relationship and he doesn’t feel weird about it, I would put them up.
But if he feels resentment towards his dad then not a good idea to put them up.
Post # 4
@bluewolverine: I’m in a similar awkward ornament gift situation and I know what you mean. It’s a nice (ish) gesture but you don’t want to look at the tree every time and think about how weird it is. If you feel weird about it, you don’t have to put them on. It’s your tree, not hers. 🙂
I hate that awkward gift that kind of feels like a sight to the other parent but they don’t say anything about it they just smile like it’s supposed to be sentimental.
Post # 5
I’d leave it up to him. It’s his family. If he doesn’t mind and wants them up then put them up. But, if he feels wierd about them and doesn’t feel any attachment to having them up then don’t.
Put the ball in his court. 🙂
Post # 6
We have ornaments of our tree that were DHs ex, they are good memories for DSS and they envoke happier times with Darling Husband and his ex for DSS. So if your FH has good memories of those ornaments then put them up, let it be his decision because they are his memories, if he doesn’t then don’t put them up. If you don’t put them up, put them away for a future generation. If there are bad memories associated with them now, they are not ones that future kids will have, they will just be a family keepsake for them.
Post # 7
I don’t think your Mother-In-Law was thinking that far into it, but if you personally don’t feel comfortable having those ornaments on your tree then don’t put them up.
Post # 8
does your Darling Husband get on with his dad? if yes then i would keep them, they are from his childhood and back then his dad loved his mom i guess, afterall she kept them all this time so they must have meant good things to her at one point. you can always shove them towards the back of the tree
Post # 9
@bluewolverine: If it were up to me I’d consider those ornaments where a symbol of their love and his devotion for her, no matter how it ended they once were inloved and those ornaments are a part of that love. However since is your DH’s parents you should ask him how he feels if it brings bad memories or if it makes him uncomfortable.
I’d consider it a nice gift but I’m the kind of person who doesn’t consider “divorce stuff” tainted, some people feel uncomfortable by this and it’s totally understandable.
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
I know I personally don’t really like to have anything around that connects to my parent’s marriage – they separated almost 20 years ago, it’s weird for me to think about them even ever being together, and thinking of it doesn’t necessarily make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
That said – I would leave it up to your hubs and how he feels – ultimately he is the one who has the real connection to it. If it makes him feel funny, then don’t put them up.
Post # 11
Our first reaction was pretty similar: “Huh?” He has a great relationship with his dad, so that’s not an issue. Relationship with mom is a little rocky right now, but I don’t know how that might play into it. The ornaments are all Mr. and Mrs. Claus, which for some reason adds to the strange factor for me. I totally left it up to him. He wants to think about it, which I think it totally understandable. I’ll be happy to do whatever he decides. Was just curious what you all thought. Thanks!