Post # 1
So I was reading on Jezebel that Mitt Romney apparently forgot how many grandchildren he had when he refered to two different grandchildren as ‘number 22’ in 2 different tweets. I’m hesitant to link to the article (most of the comments are political jokes and political talk is NOT WELCOME on this thread) but it did get me thinking about my own family.
I come from a pretty small family where my siblings and I were mostly raised by my grandma and great aunt and were the only grandkids/great nieces and nephews. My FH on the other hand has a huge family. Our twins are one of ten grandchildren and most of my future in-laws are not in any way done having babies. FH’s family is great, very warm and loving, but I much prefer my own family’s dynamic. I think we’re a lot closer and we know each other better. The one thing that really bums me out about FHs family is how little attention most of the grandkids get. Since there are so many of them FH’s parents don’t get to spend one-on-one time with all of them, so they don’t really know their own grandchildren. That said, there is a sense of community in FH’s family that my family doesn’t have. I’m not trying to say that all big or small families are like this or anything, that’s just my experience and it would be great to hear how some other bees feel.
Post # 3
I voted “medium” but I come from a small family. I’m an only, as is my mother. My father has one sister who has one child. It so happens that FI is an only as well. FI’s parents have many more siblings than my parents(ok, his mom has 2, but his father has 8). However, they ALL live on another continent, so in terms of day-to-day they don’t figure into our family events.
At this age I think I’d like to have a sibling. Growing up? No way! FI feels similarly. This is why our debate about children revolves around “1 or 2?”
Post # 4
I voted large because I have a huge family and have always loved it being that way. FI has a super tiny family (only family of his at our wedding will be his mom and step-dad). I just can’t imagine life without 7 aunts and 2 uncles or 16 cousins.
Post # 5
I’d like to have a big family! My intimate family has passed on, or I don’t know them, I was an only child so I have no brothers or sisters, and when my grandparents and mother died there was no one. All of my distant family lives far away.
It makes it weird when you think about your wedding,baby showers,giving birth,etc. It’s a little awkward to me because it’s only my friends and FI’s family, people always ask. So if I had a medium/big family I could reach out and be closer to them.
Post # 6
I think both can be nice for different reasons. My family is really small and my FI’s is medium size. I was the only child and only grandchild and loved it. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents and we were very, very close. I can’t imagine being one of 22 grandchildren!
I think it gets to be too big once you start to not really know your relatives because there are so many of them.
Post # 7
I come from a small immediate family (one sibling) but a large extended family. I loved growing up with a lot of cousins and aunts and uncles, even if we only saw them a couple of times a year. It always made holidays and family trips a lot of fun.
My husband comes from a small family (only child) and my brother isn’t the “settling down” type, so he probably won’t ever have kids. This means that my future kids will grow up without cousins and that sense of community that I had growing up.
So I guess I’d choose big family. I know family can cause problems in people’s lives but my experience has always been positive.
Post # 8
I’m from a very large family. My Dad has seven brothers and one sister, and they are all married and have 3-4 kids each. My Mom’s family is small, she has two sisters, one has 2 kids and the other has 3. I am close to both sets of grandparents. And I love having so many cousins, aunts and uncles. Geographically we’re not very close, but we all know each other, and know what’s going on in each other’s lives. I have never felt like my grandparents on my Dad’s side were more distant than the ones on my Mom’s side. Even though they have so many grandchildren, they still know us and love us all. The great thing about a big family is that you have a big support system. I think a big, distant family wouldn’t be much fun, but we’re a big, close family, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
There is one thing that sucks though, unless you elope it’s hard to have a small wedding! My immediate family (grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins) is 87 people. And then there are great aunts and uncles that I’m close to who I am also inviting, and that makes 93 people, without including any friends. Since I’m very close with all my aunts and uncles I can’t imagine cutting any of them, or any of my cousins, so I just have to deal with a 200+ person wedding.
Post # 9
I have a small family and one that is not close. My FI has a big family (his mom has 7 brothers and sisters) and him and his family are all close. THe majority of his cousins are all around the same age, so they all grew up super close. My mom always says shes glad i’m marrying into a big family, and my brothers gf’s family also has a big family…so shes living through us to have the big family she never got lol
Post # 10
Small small small. I can’t stand family functions.
Post # 11
I think it’s fun to have aunts and uncles and cousins. My family is huge – my mom is one of 12 kids – so I had a large extended family.
I would prefer something a little smaller – so I voted medium. I’d like to have a decent relationship with the whole family and not have it so large that I hardly know some of them.
I’m kind of sad my kids will only have one aunt and uncle. I wish they’d have a little more.
Post # 12
Size doesn’t matter (in families anyway 😉 ), what matters to me is how functional the family is. I guess it goes without saying that it’s dysfunction that doesn’t really do it for me.
Ok great, now I’ve got myself thinking about erectile dysfunction…yep, I did this to myself!
Post # 13
- Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church
My fiance has a massive family and I have a very small one, especially when you consider the number of people who have been kicked out socially.
On my mom’s side, we have three people that my dad and I speak to and none my mom speaks to. On my dad’s side, we have eight people we interact with. My immediate family is four. So… fifteen people in my family. No first cousins that we still interact with.
On my fiance’s side, he has twenty-something cousins alone. It’s mindboggling.
I’d like my family to be even smaller because we have too much drama, and I want less drama.
Post # 14
I come from a large family, but I’m generally concerned with overpopulation… So I will have a small family myself, only 2 kids.
Post # 15
I come from a large family and FI comes from a very small family. My vote would be a medium sized family.
Post # 16
I liked growing up as an only child. I plan on having 2 children. I’ve never experienced a big family so it would be overwhelming to me, I think. I do have lots of cousins and aunts and uncles which is nice, but as far as immediate family, I prefer smaller.