Post # 1
One of my friend’s has a really shitty at-home situation. Her family is insane ~ her older brother was abusive to her as a kid/teen – physically and emotionally. He beat her up as a kid a lot and was awful to her growing up. He is 30 and she is 25 now. At this point in their lives, they ended up living in the same house again with the rest of her family.
Let me give you some back story:
Brother has always been a psychopath. Drunk driving constantly. Fired from jobs due to stealing. Used to drive his car all over the grass in his housing development. This year – he ended up having a baby with his girlfriend. One night after the baby was born, he flipped out – destroyed their nursery and all of the baby’s belongings. Cops were called, a restraining order was issued, his guns were taken away, etc. He is out of his mind – posted all over facebook about how much a slut she was, etc. They ended up back together (a whole other issue). He abuses her now that they are together – pushed her down the stairs and broke her wrist, screams at her in front of the baby, etc. etc. So he is clearly NOT a nice guy (I’ve known him for 15+ years, and he’s always been an asshole).
So – today she tells me that she got him to admit he is dealing drugs. She found a ton of baggies a while back, and random people have been coming to their house. She told me that he meets them down the street in the neighborhood that they live in and does his deals there, or sometimes they come into their house.
She is refusing to call the cops because she thinks they will search the house and she’ll in trouble too (stupid, I know). Even though these potentially dangerous deals are going on in her house, with a 10 month old baby and her entire family living there.
The real kicker is – my family lives in the same neighborhood, and it sounds like the deals are taking place right outside my family’s house. This makes me extremely uncomfortable as I know my family is outside a lot – walking the dog, etc. I don’t want something crazy to happen (and her brother is totally shady so it very well could) and have them getting hurt.
I am conflicted about what to do. Do I call the cops and tip them off? Do I just leave it be and hope he gets caught on his own? I don’t like to meddle in other’s people business – but I feel like she doesn’t have the balls to do what’s right.
Post # 2
i would absolutely call it in. You can do so anonymously.
Post # 3
If this guy is as terrible as you are saying I don’t think I would be calling the cops a day after he tells his sister…. she might end up getting some serious pay back and depending on what he is selling/how much etc he might just get a little slap on the wrist ($1000 fine or something) or they could end up taking away your friends parents house bc its involved in a crime
I guess I would have to know more about the situation
Post # 4
Yes, your friend and her parents could be in trouble if they don’t report it and the cops come in, however, if they are the ones that call the cops then they would not be in trouble. Retribution is a possibility by the brother. If I were them, they should get a restraining order and leave for a few days along with any real valuables. Yes, it’s for the betterment of all if the parents and your friends call the cops, not anonymously. Your friends brother could possibly get some of the help he obviously needs too.
Post # 5
If they love him, they would do that. Maybe jail will be shocking enough for him to make a change.
Post # 6
anonymouse1234: Absolutely call the cops! Besides your friend’s safety, you don’t want drug dealing in your neighbourhood.
Phone the cops but in a way that doesn’t make it obvious that you’re using her tipoff. Tell them you’re seeing a suspicious number of people coming and going to that house.
Post # 7
anonymouse1234: You have the right to call that in anonymously, if you so choose. This situation seems to make you very uncomfortable. Not to mention the lives of others may very well be in danger now or at some point. What happens if he sells a bad batch of something to someone. Or an addict is in serious need of their fix. Seems to me that a lot of the buyers know where he lives. People do crazy things when desperate. Things may only escalate if the situation is not eradicated. Good Luck
Post # 8
LISTEN TO ME: in some states the law says if a crime involves drugs, the state has a right to seize property including cars and houses! I read one story the other week about some parents in PA right now fighting to get their house back from the state- they didn’t even know their son sold drugs and they lost their house over it! That’s ridiculous and wrong.
So do not call the cops on him for drugs, you could put the entire family out on the street 🙁
Post # 9
yupmarried: I strongly disagree!
The sister’s in a terrible situation anyway. I don’t see how getting rid of the brother could make it worse, even if the cops take some of her stuff.
As for that PA couple, there’s got to be more to the story.
Post # 10
aussiemum1248: they wouldn’t lose “some stuff” they’d lose the house! just like if the boy was caught with drugs while driving the parent’s car, the cops could seize the car and legally not return it (they get sold at auctions). The PA story isn’t the only one I’ve heard of, that’s just an example and easily google-able for anyone interested. The police didn’t believe the parents were so clueless about their son’s drug dealing– and you’d better believe they won’t believe the OP’s friend’s parents are so “clueless” either, they’ll be considered accomplists and possibly charged. “Innocent until proven guilty” is a joke when police are on a mission, it’s more like “guilty until you prove yourself innocent.”
anonymouse1234: it is up to your friend’s parents to kick him out of their house, why haven’t they kicked him out? is your friend even going to tell her parents about the drugs?
Post # 11
- Wedding: November 2013 - Stillwell House
Reporting it does not guarantee any action on the part of the police.
Thug who lived next door to me and burgled me twice would post all over his Facebook with pictures about dealing drugs, graffiti, selling his food stamps for cash, under age drinking, and driving without a license. Criminal threats against my teen daughter as well. Our community pool had camera footage of his keg parties up there, and one of them drove off to crash with an extreme DUI right after. All of this while he was on unsupervised probation (no random drug tests) as a “first time offender” with two consecutive crimes of differing type going thru the courts at the age of 19. I am so jealous when I read news coverage of police using info from social media as evidence. The fine officers of the Tucson, AZ police dept. would not respond to my complaints nor review the supporting pictures and brags he had posted.
Post # 12
anonymouse1234: honestly I think it would depend on what be was dealing. he’s going to be a psycho regardless. If it’s pot… Meh I would let it go. Or maybe just call it in since he’s clearly not smart about it a smart dealer wouldn’t be noticeable
If its it’s a hard drug, I would call it in.
I guess im no help lol.
Post # 13
- Wedding: September 2014 - Stevens Estate
I think instead of calling the cops first…you should convince your friend to seek help from some sort of organization that helps families dealing with an abusive situation in the household. They would probably know the bet way to deal with this issue, including involving the police.
Post # 14
aussiemum1248: What yupmarried: says is true. They can take everything, including minor children, and put the adults in the house in jail. Once your in that part of the system, it’s a nightmare, even if the others knew nothing about the dealing. That’s why I say it’s important for the family themselves to turn they guy in. I’ve seen parents do it before and then the police don’t take action action against the family in the house.
Post # 15
If the family hasn’t turned him in because they are afraid of him I would caution you to be very careful with you decision to turn him in. If his behaviour towards his family is frightening then consider what his behaviour towards a non family member who turned him in would be like. You have to consider the safety of your family who lives in this street.
I would send an anon letter to your local member of council or paliament with a cc to the local press. The press most likely wouldn’t run a story due to liable but it would pressure the people with some power to take action. Write the letter in reference to the drug problem in the area as a whole and give the location of this place and any others you know of. This way you and the sister have a degree of seperation from the report.