Post # 1
I have a friend, let’s call her Jane. I’ve been friends with Jane for nearly 15 years.
– We catch up every month for dinner (just the 2 of us)
– I attended her first wedding + all the parties that went with it (engagement etc)
– I was one of the only friends who supported her after she seperated from her husband after 3 months of marriage
– I took her on a holiday to help her get away from it all in the weeks after her seperation
– Supported her when she entered a new relationship and celebrated with her when they became engaged (there was about 2 years between her marriage/divorce/ new enagement)
– She & her fiance attended my wedding 3 months ago
So at all our catch ups I was told to save the date, we talked about all the details etc. Now here we are 4 weeks away from her wedding and I have no invitation to her wedding. We’re not invited. Now I haven’t seen her since my wedding, but we’ve talked/texted. What blows my mind and is really upsetting to me is that she has invited people who she doesn’t really like/has to invite/who totally ignored her & bitched about her during her divorce- but not me.
I am seeing her tomorrow & don’t know what to say regardling the whole thing. I don’t want a sympathy invite, but I also don’t want to just let it go. I know this isn’t just a simple case of a forgotten or lost invite. I’ve racked ny brain for possible things I may have done to upset her, but there has been nothing & they had a great time at my wedding.
Post # 3
@theone99: Just curious how you know the invite didn’t get lost in mail? Has the RSVP date passed and she didn’t say anything to you? Maybe she assumes you’re coming and doesn’t need an actual RSVP from you? Did she give you all the details to the wedding? Did you get a STD and just not an invite? Depending on the answers to those Qs, I may say something tomorrow where you see her or after the wedding – but I need to know those answers first before I would say what I’d do.
Post # 4
@theone99: I’m so sorry :(. It sounds like you’ve done a lot for Jane over the years and it must really hurt not to be invited. How big is Jane’s wedding going to be? Maybe she only invited her closest friends and family?
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2
@theone99: You definitely deserve to be invited. I’m hoping this is a mistake or your invitation got lost in the mail. I’d definitely mention something tomorrow and say that you really want to be there for her (not just on principle).
Post # 6
maybe she wants to give you the invitation in person when you see her tommorrow?
If she doesnt then i think i would i would bring it up in a casual manner and see what she says from there
Post # 7
This sounds like it has to be a mistake….I would bring it up with her!
Post # 8
@futuremrsk18: It’s a bit awkward- but she invited my older sister & her partner. My sister has written a few tweets to this girl about receiving the invite/how pretty it is and I’ve seen the exchange between them. She’s having a morning wedding & wrote a tweet 4 days ago about ‘how she hopes early morning wind won’t ruin her hair’ so I wrote ‘Still having an early wedding?’ and she replied ‘Yep! Bright & early!’.
The save the date was given to me verbally, because it was a second wedding she cut back on a few formalities.
It’s not just close friends & family- years passed where my sister & her didn’t talk but in the last 3 months since my wedding they’ve reconnected. I’m crushed that she is invited & I’m not. Really crushed.
Post # 9
@futuremrsk18: This. Invitations get lost in the mail, and neither party knows. We sent invites all over the world, and the only one that got lost was my cousin’s, and she lives in town! I didn’t know until the week before the RSVP deadline when my grandma mentioned that she’d asked cousin if she’d sent in her RSVP and cousin mentioned that she never got an invitation.
Post # 10
I was hoping it was a mistake too, but I initiated this catch up yesterday becauss I didn’t just want the friendship to deteriorate over a wedding invite. I know it sounds stupid, but I thought I was one of her closest friends.
She’ll probably try to give me an invitation tomorrow out of politeness, but I know her- she follows ettiqute & is highly organised. If shd wanted to hand deliver it I would have it by now 🙁
Post # 11
@vorpalette: I thought the same thing, so to avoid the awkardness of asking outright I said to her ‘still having a morning wedding?’ and she didn’t say ‘Yes! Didn’t you read the invite?’ or anything like that, just ‘Yep! Bright & early’.
Post # 12
A similar thing happened to me – it wasn’t a mistake. I didn’t say anything. It’s very rude to tell someone they’re invited then not invite them though. I’m no longer friends with this person, not because she didn’t invite me but because she didn’t have enough respect to apologize and explain the situation to me, even when it was awkwardly brought up by a 3rd party who was invited.
Post # 13
If you’re that close with each other, I would say something!
Post # 14
@MrsWBS: That’s my main fear. There are a LOT of mutual people invited that I went to school with, they would probably expect me to be there. When I’m not there but my sister is, there’ll be questions. If I say something tomorrow I’m afraid I’ll get laughed at ‘Oh theone99 thought she’d get an invite’ etc.
@Kimberley25: I plan to, I just don’t know what to say or how to say it!
Post # 15
ahhhh. as you initiated the catch up it doesnt sound like that was her plan then.if you dont get one i think i would be hurt enough to ask why
hope this turns around for you but if not,remember you have been a very good friend for a very long time. if she doesnt value that then she’s crazy!
Post # 16
I think you’re assuming that you weren’t invited, when it very well may be that your invite got lost. I wouldn’t assume if someone asked me if I’m still having an early morning wedding that they didn’t get the invite – I’d assume that they’re asking if anything has changed since receiving the invite. Has the RSVP date passed?