Post # 1
My daughter’s FMIL and bridal party have gotten their dresses for the wedding,and while I love the dresses and styles, it seems they all need some better or more concealing undergarments. Looking at pictures,there are many areas that are just not looking so great through the fabric. ‘Waves’ through the midsection, panty lines,too tight bra bands,’pulling’ through the hips are all looking pretty terrible before the alterations. Some of the bust areas are also too tight,causing a very unflattering flattening of the breasts. UGH.
As brides,have you gone with your attendents to see their dresses at the final fittings? Would you make suggestions to the girls or the seamstress if you didn’t like how they looked/fit , or would you just keep quiet and accept what you get? I know we’ve all seen outfits on people that make us ask ourselves ‘What was she thinking?!’,but in this case,how would you handle it? I’ve seen some bridal party pictures recently where the dresses,while pretty,either really made the entire bridal party look frumpy or they looked trashy because everything was just way too tight!
What would you or have you done?
Post # 3
I wouldn’t say anything. I would be pretty annoyed if I was already wearing something someone else picked out for me and then on top of that, she told me how to wear it or what underwear to put on. I think there is only so much you can ask of your bridal party.
Post # 4
I think the only person who can say something is your daughter. However it seems like she has chosen dresses for her BMs and is happy with them, so she probably wont.
I’d probably make a casual comment to your daughter about it, but that is all.
Post # 5
I voted yes, that I’d say something, but I’d try to be really delicate about it. I love my four girls, but if something doesn’t look right, I’d rather tell them about it privately and ask them if they’re comfortable in the undergarments or if they like the fit of the dress and take it from there. I’d approach them individually (so as not to embarass anyone) and discuss it. 🙂
I think it’s one of those things where, personally, I’d rather know before hand so I can do something about it, as opposed to seeing the pictures later and being like, “Oh my God, I wish I had worn some Spanx,” y’know? My friends are the same way I am, so I would be a little more comfortable talking to them about this.
It might be smarter to have your daughter talk to her girls about it, ’cause they might be a little more comfortable discussing their flaws in the dress with a close friend. As for the FMIL, I don’t really know how to handle that one.. 🙁
Post # 6
Not to sound too catty, but I would trust what they think look best…you cannot control everything (which is a good thing, really!) and you know you will look the best, haha. =)
Post # 7
I mentioned to my girls that Spanx is our best friend. I mean, I know stuff like that can be offensive, but if I don’t look good or I look bulgy, I WANT to be told!
If they all have the dresses already, what do you forsee being a solution? It’s not like they can let out the dresses, right? I think you could always say “look, you can see your panty lines! what about spanx?” because “panty lines” is less offensive than “chunk bulge” frankly. There’s always a tactful way to address it.
But, the pros are pros, and I’m sure they’ll alter them appropriate, right? You coudl always call the shop and say, “look, the dresses were so tight on the girls; i’m concerned they’ll be risque” and talk to the seamstress to see what she thinks. Maybe she already planned on adjusting the dresses. You can talk to your daughter and let her handle it; she should really be the one to address the undergarment issue. Remind them that the photos see EVERYTHING! But, realistically, you can’t just make them wear it. If they are wearing unflattering clothing, whatever.
Post # 8
One indirect way to approach this might be to ‘remind’ the girls to wear the undergarments they plan on wearing at the wedding to their next fitting. That way 1) you can see if that’s what they’ll actually be wearing (who knows, maybe they’ve got the Spanx at home), 2) it’ll be in their minds and they’ll be more likely to notice their own ‘trouble areas’ and 3) you won’t come off as mom-zilla calling all of your daughters’ friends fat. 🙂
Post # 9
I agree with daydream ^
I’m going to do this with my MOH, as I noticed that the dress I picked out would require a much more supportive bra, but I don’t know that she noticed that. I’m going to suggest she bring her special wedding bra with her for the next fitting, and hope that gets the point across.
Post # 10
Thanks,but I’m not considering saying anything myself. Not my job OR my friends,so was just wondering how all of you brides have handled things. My daughter was sent pictures of each from the bridal shop to see what she thought and then forwarded them to me. Her FMIL has asked me what to do as she doesn’t feel comfortable when sitting down…standing up is fine,but she feels that when seated,the dress is moving south. I told her to check with the seamstress,but she wasn’t very happy with the corset they had her in while there.
My daughter said she remembers being told what to wear for each of her friends’ weddings (she was a BM in all of their weddings),but she’s pretty thin and her problem was lack of a bustline. lol. Sewn in padded cups saved her each time. :o) I think what she’s most upset about is the measurements taken of each girl and how now they fit so poorly. Alterations haven’t been done yet,so hopefully there’s enough seam allowance for adjustments.
Post # 11
I won’t say anything to my bridal party either. I have to trust that they know what fits and what flatters and what doesn’t. As it turns out my bridesmaids have a lil extra weight on them and I was very cognizant of that when picking the style. I asked for their input and while they haven’t picked out or even tried on the dress, they’ve looked at it online and believe it will be a good cut for them. I’m sure after alterations your daughter’s BM’s will look great and they’ll get the proper undergarments, no worries! And if they don’t, oh well, as long as everyone has a good time that stuff doesn’t really matter.
Post # 12
I would say something to my girls, then. Tactfully, of course. They’d do it with me! Not all my girls were stick-skinny, either but not everyone is fully aware of all the amazing body-smoothing undergarments out there.
My mom is a 5’6″ and a size 4 and I convinced her to spanx it up, too. She thought i was crazy at first, then i pointed out how the dress was being unflattering on her (even as small as she is) and catching in “all the wrong places” and afterwards she was grateful i said something.
Your daughter’s friends want to look good, I’m sure! Maybe they just don’t know.
Post # 13
I’m amazed you’ve seen photos of all the bridesmaids in their dresses. If the photos are that horrid, just show the girls and see what they say. If it is as bad as you are saying, they will see the bulges and want to do something about it.
Personally, all my bridesmaids are in their 30s and are savvy enough to wear appropriate undergarments and instruct the seamstress as needed.
Post # 14
If there is another fitting opportunity I’d casually ask the seamstress waht type of undergarment she thinks would work best. chances are, because they arent wearing the right thing thats why the outfits are ill fitting