Would you send an invite to someone that already said they won't come? (POLL)

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you still send an invitation to someone who said they won't attend?
    Yes, you should still send one : (37 votes)
    49 %
    No, don't bother : (36 votes)
    48 %
    Other, see below : (2 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 2
    1893 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX

    Normally I would say yes, always send an invitation just in case the situation changes, but that is such a jerk thing to say. Good riddance to him. Don’t waste your money on sending him an invite!

    Post # 3
    1157 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    sharksgrl99:  So in this particular situation, I’d say just send it – why not?  Can’t hurt.

    I originally voted “no don’t bother” before reading your post.

    Personally, the people who tell us “sorry we can’t make it” won’t be getting an invite, because we’re having a small enough wedding that it’s fairly obvious if the person definitely isn’t coming.

    Post # 4
    2798 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Proper etiquet says to send him one. My normal preference if someone says they can’t go for XYZ reason is to send an invite with a note about how much you would miss them.

    That said, your uncle is a jerk.

    Post # 5
    11626 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would still send him one.  Give me a chance to do the right thing, or tell you himself that he isn’t coming.

    Post # 6
    2675 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

    Normally, I would and I did for many of my guests but based on your specific situation I wouldn’t feel bad about not sending one.

    Post # 7
    4638 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I’d send one, but then again I’m kind of an asshole and like to kill nasty people with kindness because they have no idea what to do. Who knows.. he may actually do the right thing.

    Post # 8
    175 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    Normally I would say yes send one just to include them but his one wedding per person comment is just plain conceited so I voted a big fat No to the jerk.

    Post # 9
    5697 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Normally I send invites anyway to people who can’t make things beacuse I still want them to know they’re invited and thought of. But he’s an ass so i probably wouldn’t waste the stamps or paper.

    Post # 10
    6455 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Oh I voted before reading. Typically I would send one but in this case I wouldn’t stop subtract one of the ‘yes’ votes.

    Post # 11
    2474 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Yeah, I would still send one. 

    Post # 12
    1622 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May

    Ouch! I originally voted yes out of etiquette or in case plans change and the guest can go. But after a comment like that? NO! Except to say, with a mentality like that your better off without that guest.

    P.S. Is your uncle related to my mother. She said the same thing to me…..

    Post # 13
    5194 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

    I would send it.

    Post # 14
    1719 posts
    Bumble bee

    I wouldn’t send him an invitation, but not to be spiteful or to “kill him with kindness”. He said he wouldn’t attend, so to make it clear that he was heard, I wouldn’t send him one. 

    Honestly, his “one wedding per person” rule makes sense to me. He may be a rude person, but that particular rule seems fine. I mean, he went to the first one, probably bought a gift, and celebrated with everyone; he doesn’t need to keep repeating those steps for the same people. 

    Post # 15
    2661 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    When you  have been told that a person cannot attend, you should not send an invite.  When I told a friend about my date adn she told me that she had her family reunion that weekend, I did not send her an invite.  I feel like it is asking for a gift.  I told her that I did not send her one, but if something changed and she became available and wanted to attend, to just let me know.

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