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I went to one 7th-12th grade and it was HORRIBLE, both the private school aspect (small, homogenous, exclusive community) as well as the all-girls bit (catty atmosphere, gossip, cliques, etc). But some people must prefer this type of education since these schools still exist and command tuition that's comparable to college! So I was wondering, would anyone consider this for their own kids?
Nope! I have no experience with it, but I just feel like "regular" high school is perfectly fine, although I would consider private school. I think the regular interaction between males and females is a good thing!
No.
In real life, women have to work with men. School is preparing them for that. High school are the years where teenagers define themselves and learn how to relate to others and how to interact with others. I don't think it's good for them to take that part of life away.
Also, I saw many girls act in the most odd ways around boys once they get past high school and have men around - either have no idea how to deal with it so avoid them altogether, or the opposite, trying by all means to get as much male attention as possible... Anyway, never did I see normal interactions...
I will not do that to my children.
Interestingly, when my sister and I thought about women's colleges, our parents were pretty against it (even though we applied to them).
Hmmmm.... I might. It would depend largely on my daughter, though, and the available education options.
If my choices are a price-y private school with an IB program, art classes, competitive sports and snarky girls or a moderately competitive public school with ho-hum extracurriculars I'll eat ramen and help her find other social outlets.
My daughter attends public school but they have actually instituted single gender classes. They are mainly for those students performing at or below grade level. My daughter's math class originally had 2 boys but they were moved to different classes because they were a little overwhelmed with all of the cuteness surrounding them ....lol. So she has a single gender class by default even though she is an advanced student. She seems to do well in both single gender and mixed environments though so I wouldn't consider placing her in an all-girls school. I think she would miss out on some of the necessary interaction between people of the opposite sex. Now if she were extremely shy and unwilling to talk around boys, I might consider it for middle school only just so she could gain some confidence. 9th through 12th would definitely be at a regular school.
Public school has plenty of gossip, cliques, and an exclusive atmosphere. It comes with the territory of being around a lot of teenagers. I would probably prefer to have my children in co-ed, and the decision of public vs. private school would be based on academics, and whether or not they would fit into the community in terms of family background and lifestyle.
Nope. My sorority had far too many girls who attended all-girls Catholic high schools. Let's just say that nearly all of them went a little slutinsky in college. It's like they didn't know how to act around men! The real world involves interacting with both men and women, which i think is valuable to learn how to do appropriately at a young age.
The only time I ever saw an all-girls school thing work out was when I was a freshman and a girl I knew was being CRAZY, getting into drugs and boys way too much. Her parents punished her with an all girls school. Basically she got no male interaction for 4 years while she grew up. It worked for her, but i think that was a rare situation!
Edit; i hadn't considered if the school system was sucky and our choices were co-ed crappy or all-girls good....we purposely moved to a great school district
I went to all-girls high school (boarding school, no less) and loved it! It was a bit of a shock to go to co-ed college and find out that sexism was alive and well, but if I learned anything in high school, it was that girls excel at math and science and can be anything they want to be.
Ultimately, we'd rather have our daughter go to a great public school, but if for some reason that wasn't available where we were, I wouldn't hesitate for her to get single sex education. I'm all for empowering girls!
Edited to add: As far as snarky and boy crazy and out of control, that was definitely not my experience of my all girls school. We had a brother school and interacted with those guys on a regular basis, and I would wager to say that with a few exceptions most of us were pretty level headed and responsible. Several of us went to the same college and were able to make smooth-ish transitions to coed education. My toughest challenge was in not being seen as an equal by the guys. That really bugged me!
I would consider private school, but I went to a fabulous public school and I would not hesitate to send my children to public school. Never would I send my girl to an all-girls store, though.
I will say that private school is not all it is cracked up to be. My mom worked for one for years and she said they are not held to the same standards as public schools (sounds wierd, I know). For instance, in CA grades K-3 can have no more than 20 children in a classroom; Private schools would not have to follow this rule. I used to hang out at my mom's school, and honestly, it left a bad taste in my mouth for the most part.
I do know that not everyone lives in an area with a great school district, so sometimes private school is a necessity for a better education.
Now I'm curious if you went to one in nyc! I went to an all girls high school in nyc for 2 years, and I got invited to leave because I brought negative publicity to them apparently. HA! (I ran away from home for a week in 9th grade since my dad was an abusive asshole) My school didn't like that all the news stories about me running away mentioned them. So I didn't like that aspect of it. Also, there were definitely cliques of "lifers" - the rich girls who had been there since pre-k, and "the new kids" - those of us who entered in 9th grade. The "new" girls were awesome though, and I still have great friends from my 2 years there. And it definitely prepared me academically for college. I transferred to another private school in the city for junior/senior year, and I'd definitely send my kids to catholic/private schools in the future if I can afford it. (I went to a catholic school for pre-k - 8th grade) . I would not be willing to send my kids to a nyc public school, but if we moved, I might consider it.
I also went to an all-womans college, and had a fabulous experience. There was no catty, clique-y atmosphere on the college level. I know it's not for everyone, but I value the education I got there.
I went to a Co-Ed private school for K-5, then public for 6-12, and I want to send my kids to private school for sure. Public school was not terrible, but not the best either.
I think I may put my daughter in a private co-ed school. I dont mind public schools at all but there arent really any good ones here in the are I am in.
I voted depends but I didn't mean it as an all girl's school being an option. Sorry. My hubs and I have had many discussions about sending our children to a Catholic/private school v a public school. I went to Catholic school 12 years of my life and can honestly say that I am glad I did. He on the other hand went to public schools all his life so we will be compromising on this decision. Sorry I got off topic.
I like the idea of having our children intermingle with kids of the opposite sex. I know this isn't the same but I was in an all girl's dorm in college (not by choice) and I hated it. It was really catty and definitely not my style but it doesn't mean that is the same situation for all the cases.
Let me say I won't base my decision on a school from the last few statements I just wrote.
I went to an all women's college, and while I had a good experience there, made good friends, got a great education, etc...if I had to do it again, I would definitely go to a co-ed school. Not so much because of any classroom experiences, but because of everything else that college is about--aka, a social life. Going to an all women's college meant that a lot of weekends were about finding "male interaction" and meeting as many guys as we could. Of course, not to say that this is the way everyone was--there were plenty of women at my college who were content to stay on campus on the weekends, or just go out in town with friends. But for myself, I was out every weekend at co-ed schools, and it was just exhausting and not fun. Guys see you as a piece of meat, and as coming to visit their schools for one reason and one reason only. It's almost impossible to meet guys just to be friends with, since there aren't really any in the classrooms (we did have a few). All in all, I just think it wasn't the best choice I could have made.
I also missed hearing the "guy" perspective on certain issues. I also never felt less valued or less included in high school/elementary school because I was a girl, so I didn't view my experience in an all women's college as a welcome escape from male oppression. It just all seemed kind of one sided. I don't think I would send my kids to an all girls/all guys school.
As for private school, I went to public school until college, as did my FI. However, he is SET on sending our kids to private school. He feels that they just have many more opportunities and doors are opened for them because of the school. Which I guess I can't really argue with. But I do hope that our kids are smart enough to stand on their own, without the name of the school.
I believe in public school as an important institution, and though FH and I will have the means to send our kids to the institution of our choice, I feel an obligation not to opt out.
That said, an individual child's needs will always trump my politics. I might send a child to a single sex school if I thought it was best for that child, or to private school if it was the best program for that child. As a default position, though, I prefer public school because I believe in it.
To me it does depend on whether or not it's a good school and whether or not we can afford it. I'd rather my daughter get a good education and be prepared to make sure she has plenty of social interaction with the opposite sex than to go to a ho hum public school.
I attended a private-all girls high school. I did not want to go and fought my parents every step of the way, but once I got there, I loved it!
I voted depends because I know from experience that things don't always work out the way you plan. It wasn't our plan for me to attend a private school much less an all-girls school, but I lived in Queens NY right before they overhauled the whole applying to high school system. I got lost in the cracks when I tried applying to schools so instead of attending my zoned high school that is known for its shootings, my parents decided it was best for me to go to Catholic school instead.
My two brothers went to private co-ed boarding schools …When it came time for me to begin high school I wanted to have the same experience however my parents wanted me to go to an all girls school. My brothers talked them out of it - - I loved prep school (private boarding.) Our math classes and science classes were single gender classes – that began my junior year…..
Back to the OP – I didn’t go to an all girls school and depending on what high schools are like by the time I have kids I don’t know if I’ll consider an all boys/all girls school for them….
I would consider a single gender school; it would probably depend more on the specifics of curriculum, academics, cost, extracurriculars, etc... than on the single gender aspect. I think socialization with the opposite sex can/does happen outside of school just as much as in the classroom. If my daughter (or son) had a chance to attend a really outstanding school, I could care less if it is a single gender school. It's pretty low on my list of priorities.
I went to an all girls catholic school, and it was one of the best few years of my life so far! I made the best friends, and really developed a sense of who I was as an individual - which is crucial at that stage in anyone's life. Plus, it really did help with my confidence and focing on my education
I would consider private school if the schools near us were especially awful. But overall, I'm a big believer that socialization is a part of growing up, and I wouldn't want to deprive my kids of that. I would never consider an all-girls, or all-boys school.
I said it depends.. Public school/co-ed schools would be my first choice, but if I felt that my daughter wasn't getting the education she deserves then I would send her to an all girls school. A lot of schools still push boys and girls to gender biased classes/occupations. I want my future daughter to know that she can be jsut as good or better at math or science than any boy, just as I want my future son to know he can go into the arts and "soft" sciences if he so chooses.
I've now attended a public high school, a private women's college, and a large state university, and had good experiences with them all. I am a big believer in public education, so I would want to send a daughter to a public high school, as long as it was a good district.
@Monitajb - you summed up my feelings on this pretty well. :)
Personally, I do believe that I never would have studied physics in undergrad, and gone on to a PhD in the subject, without going to the women's college. In high school, although I was in the advanced classes, I felt very intimidated in the math/science classes. It was probably a product of my personality, but the women's college allowed me to study what I really wanted, without feeling like I was automatically worse at the subject by virtue of my gender.
Honestly, I had tons of socialization with boys in high school, even though I was at an all girls school. I met my fiance (who went to an all boys school) in high school at a dance his school hosted! My college was a bit more isolated from boys, but I had a boyfriend and a huge group of my own friends in the city, so it didn't matter at that point. Going to an all girls school definitely helped me overcome my shyness and become more vocal about sharing my opinions in class. If I thought my daughter would benefit in similar ways, I'd send her to an all girls school in a heart beat. Either way, my kids will definitely go to private schools. I applied to both co-ed and single sex schools for high school, and my parents left it totally up to me which one I went to (as long as they could afford it!). I plan on giving my kids the same options (as long as we can afford it!).
I guess I would consider it if my daughter was interested. I went to public school up until high school when my parents gave me the choice of schools because our public school was not so great. I looked at the public school but ultimately chose to go to a Catholic co-ed school. I had no interest in even considering an all girls school.
When I have kids, I hope to live in an area with good public schools and if not, we will make the high school decision together.
Really interesting to read all these perspectives :)
@BrooklynBride - we also had lifers vs. new kids! A lot of the lifers who had been there since pre-K were SO READY to get out by the end though, so I don't envy them. My school was in Greenwich, CT
@Minutiae - I am sure I could find the same slutty/cliquey girls in any public high school as I did in my private all-girls school. The difference is that public schools have other types of students as well, so I think it's easier to find your niche, whereas my tiny all girls school was filled with only one type of person. I wasn't into drinking, shopping, and boys in HS, and because of this, there was literally one other girl in my class who I could relate to.
@Mrs.DG, OfficeBride, and Miss Pasta - I'm glad to hear that you had better experiences than I did. I think the girls at my school that fit the mold loved the experience. I think the problem is if you're different from the other kids...in public school, you're more likely to find kids just like you, but in a small all-girls school, the diversity just isn't there
I would prefer my (hypothetical) kids to go to a public school, but if a good public school wasn't available where we were living I would send them to a private co-ed school preferably.
@Girlwitharing - I think we went to the same network of schools! We had our field days in Greenwich. Did you guys have Conge? ;)
I went to a private all-girls catholic high school and it was fine. There are arguments for both sides. Having gone there I can see what I got to experience was great, but I also am now aware of what I missed out on. If I had gone to the public school I probably would have gotten into a bit more trouble (what I would have called FUN as a teenager and my parents would have grounded me for) also the public school had a lot more extra curricular activities that I may have participated in. Looking back on it now I want to say I would have taken advantage of those things but I can't be positive that I would have. Overall though I don't regret my parents' decision.
At first it was difficult because I had always gone to public school and I felt like it was unfair that all my friends were going to the local public high school and I wasn't. In fact I made my parents promise that if I hated it, they would let me transfer my sophmore year. Once I got there though I made new friends (while remaining close to my public school friends) and I got used to it. There was also the private all boys high school around the corner so the boys were there all the time.
One thing I miss from my high school days...the uniform...I have to think about what I'm wearing everyday...
@ Girlwitharing - I think this is true of all schools, not just single gender ones. I grew up in a tiny town, and the one high school with 60 miles only had about 300 kids in it (80 in my graduating class). I certainly didn't fit in there; I had a lot of "aquaintances" but all of my friends I met at other places (summer camps, travel, etc...). I think all schools, and small schools especially, tend to have a "type" that fit in best.
@BrooklynBride - No, is that a Catholic thing? My school was non-religious, though I did know some girls who went to Catholic school in Greenwich and it seemed not much different from my experience.
Girlwitharing- I definitely didn't fit the mold! I was a giant jock/geek, and really wasn't your typical social and well-off girl that went to my school. BUT, I was totally accepted for who I was, and though I wasn't best friends with the cool kids, I definitely had a great core group of friends (also geeky or jocky types!) I was the scholarship girl and had to work in the switchboard office and the cafeteria to earn my keep, which definitely was not something the cool kids were doing!
I am completely convinced that I would not be the physician I am now if I had not gone to this school. My college prep was so much more solid than it would have been otherwise, and I can see how I would have gotten caught up in social aspects of high school instead of academics if I had gone somewhere else.
The options in my town were either the 4,000 person public school (replete with gangs etc) or the 40 person Christian school where you kept your books in a bucket under a chair.
I have never stopped thinking how lucky I am!
@bridegrl: my mom always told us growing up that she wished we wore uniorms to school so she didn't have to go through the struggle of buying the right clothes/getting us dressed in the morning :p (even the private school she worked at didn't have uniforms)
no..boys are a part of life. plus, I am going to be a teacher in the public school and so I support it :) oh and its free and I am not going to pay for something that is free
@babyboo...my daughter's public school is actually a uniform school and now..instead of stressing about what to wear in terms of clothing...it's shoes and accessories...LOL. I have a child that HAS to show her individuality =)
@Mrs.Spring - Fair point. Everyone I know went either to large public schools or small private schools, so I didn't think about what a small public school could be like. As far as the public schools I know about (my FI's school, my brother's school, various friends' schools) there wasn't really one type of student - there were the rebel kids, the drama kids, the "good" kids, the nerds, the athletes, etc. So while not everyone fit in perfectly, one could find, say, people whose hobbies did not include binge drinking and blow jobs at age 14. Sadly, I can't say the same for my school.
@babyboo: even now I see the Notre Dame (my high school) Girls around town (recognizable by the plaid skirts) on their lunch and I miss being a part of that. btw..we weren't allowed to have logos on our white shirts because the school didn't want anyone to feel inferior becasue they had a less expensive brand... ahh, high school..it's been way too long...lol :o)
@miss pasta - I also went to an all girls private school from age 12 and fought my mum all the way but LOVED it when I got there! Honestly, it wasn't b*itchy at all (in fact I thought the girls were far more relaxed when they weren't around guys). I personally use to also get the bus to school which meant I had interaction with boys then and never felt like I missed out (I had a boyfriend from age 14 too which meant I spent lots of time for him and his friends).
I think just like any other school, you can't generalise. But I loved my school and I think going there hugely increased my academic potential.
depending on the school, depending on my daughter, depending on her age
i would definitely consider it!
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