Post # 1
Would you still bring a gift if the invitation said “gift not necessary”?
The venue is asking us if we would like to set up a gift table. My initial reaction was “No,” since we weren’t expecting any gifts, but then it occured to me that some might still bright gifts out of goodwill / decorum.
The venue said they can down-size it to a mini-gift table for us, or we can choose to have none at all. I’m just trying to get a good sense of what percentage of people would still bring a gift to the couple.
Post # 3
I think it would depend on who close I was to the couple. Very close friend or family member, I would probably still get a gift. Otherwise, I would just get a card.
In your case, I would probably have a small table with a card box and a little extra space for gifts.
Post # 4
We’re inviting about 100 people… mostly friends from church, a few old classmates, and some colleagues from work.
I don’t know if this makes a difference, but due to some family issues and drama we’re going to have to get married in a private ceremony a couple states away (in FI’s hometown) and then returning to our community and hosting a celebration with our community here. So the day we’re hosting the event is not the same day that we’re “officially” getting married.
But most of our friends are aware of our situation & sympathize with us so they know that they’re not going to a wedding, but rather a celebration/reception afterwards.
Post # 5
@alabamabee369: I probably would take it literally and not bring a gift.
One thing to think about would be all the people showing up without a gift and then seeing a gift table. I can imagine some of them feeling awkward, thinking “I thought we weren’t supposed to bring gifts”. That’s a tricky one.
Post # 6
I would not attend a wedding celebration without a gift or gift card.
Post # 7
@MrsWishyWashy: I know 🙁 I don’t know what to do.
A third of our guests are teens in our youth group that we take care of, most of whom aren’t from wealthy backgrounds but who are deep in our hearts so we want them to come celebrate with us, but don’t want them to feel burdened to have to get money from their parents to buy wedding presents. I’m perfectly ok with them not bringing anything, because it would make me really happy just to have them come and share that celebration with us.
But another group of guests are work colleagues who have established careers and who live pretty comfortably, so I’m thinking they might be the ones who would bring gifts. Which is also appreciated. But I don’t know how to how to reconcile the two groups and make it not awkward for anyone, whether they bring gifts or not!
Post # 9
I’d give a card with money in it. I would never purchase a gift if you didn’t have a registry, I hate to assume I know what people want, but I would never show up to any event empty handed, even if they said no gifts.
Post # 10
I would at least show up with something whether it be a small gift or a card with money/gift card.
Post # 11
i say decorate a very small table with memoirs etc of the big day and maybe i nice centerpiece. if ppl bring gifts and cards it can be put there and if not they get to see amazing memoirs and maybe put a guestbook or a big card box so nobody knows who put in what. im just throwing out ideas u can coordinate accordingly
Post # 12
I always have my gift delivered prior to the wedding. Dealing with the gifts at the wedding is a hassle that no family needs.
I would send a gift no matter what the invitation says (leaving aside the issue of mentioning gifts on an invitation).
Post # 13
Even if you said no gift necessary, and didn’t register anywhere, I’d bring a card with cash or a gift certificate.
Post # 14
You most likely will still get cards, even if it doesn’t have a “gift” in it.
I agree to set up a side table with maybe some pictures and other decorations so that guests can leave their cards there. Or, put a box by the guestbook so that guests can drop any cards by that.
Post # 15
We got married in San Diego, CA even though we lived in Boston at the time, and expressly asked for no material gifts (honeymoon registry) and thus did not set up a gift table. People brought gifts anyway, so we had to do a makeshift one. And then we had to lug said gifts home in our already packed suitcases. Ugh.
Post # 16
No gift table, but you should still have a card box. Everyone should still bring a card full of well wishes!