Post # 1
This is going to sound crazy, but here it goes…
The poll listed are the opinions/decisions of the bridal party (and some guests) of an upcoming wedding. The couple are having a dry wedding due to the groom’s religion and the bride’s generic dislike of alcohol. Members of the wedding party and some guests are split as to whether they are bringing their own alcohol or drinking at the wedding. To head off questions: We all knew that the bride disliked drinking (especially more so when she became engaged to a Muslim) and she can be pretty judgemental when we all hang out together. She makes snides comments about drinking quite often. But we love her anyway and have tolerated it. But she has gone as far as to ban drinking from sun up to sun down on her wedding day. Both sides of the bridal party have cried FOUL. The groom does not mind if people have a cocktail prior to the reception, but the bride thinks that anyone who has to drink must be a drunk and thinks that everyone should hold off drinking for one day.
The couple is having the reception at a hotel, which has a bar. We (the bridal party) are trying to find a balance. The groom let us know that we can do whatever we want, but due to his family and religion he cannot ‘provide’ the alcohol. The bride has told us we cannot drink at all during her wedding day and will be very upset if we do. Needless to say, we were stunned. Some of the wedding party will do what the bride says, because they do not want to upset her, but the others feel ‘policed’ by the bride’s personal issue about alcohol and have decided to bring their own drinks to their hotel room or hit the hotel bar during the reception.
I have always been of the belief: don’t you dare shove your religious beliefs down my throat, but if there is no alcohol at your wedding, then so be it, I’ll respect it. But I will do want I want before or after your wedding, my personal time. So I told them I would ask the Bee their opinions. Crazy…I know!
She has been nicknamed the No Alcohol Bridezilla.
I’ll share what is said at the Bee with them. I can’t offer an opinion to them because I’m a bride-to-be that will be serving alcohol at my wedding, so I am biased. Any No-Booze Brides that can offer some advice?
ETA: I, the poster, will be respecting the bride’s reception wishes. Some others of the bridal party will not. Keep in mind that the bride does not want us to drink during our personal private time either and that is what sparked the bridal party’s debate (the groomsmen too)
ETA2: The hotel has a restaurant & bar off of the main lobby. The groom has no issue with guests using the bar.
ETA3. To answer a question: Originally the bride wanted everyone in the bridal party to not drink all weekend.
Post # 3
You need to take a step back and look at this situation. I like my drinks too. And I’ve posted before about the annoyance of dry weddings/cash bars. However, this isn’t a cash bar issue – your friend (THE BRIDE) has stated she doesn’t want anyone drinking. That’s her perogative. It’s her wedding. Please respect your friends wishes and hold off on drinking during the wedding. Can’t it wait until after the wedding? Maybe you and your friends can have an after-party. But by no means would it be cool to disrespect your friend and her beliefs. You are her guest and should act accordingly.
Post # 4
I would not intentionally bring alcohol to a wedding where the bride or groom said they don’t want it there. Even if they are mean about it and make snide remarks. It just seems that the wedding is in celebration of their marriage… so why would you bring alcohol just to make a point? But that’s just my opinion. If the groom thinks it is fine for y’all to get alcohol from the hotel bar, then that’s fine. But I wouldn’t bring your own in spite of the bride. I know it’s a hotel, but many venues won’t allow you to bring alcohol on your own unless you have paid a bar fee at first. I don’t know how this hotel works, so I can’t say yay or nay. But I know it’s possible that they could get in trouble for people bringing their own–since they are not providing it. Goodluck to whatever you decide, but just keep in mind that it’s not about you, it’s about the bride and groom.
Post # 5
I guess I’m having trouble seeing why it is so upsetting to not do the drinking thing for the one day. Everyone has a right to their own beliefs, but I just don’t see how this is different than anything else the bride and groom requested for their one day.
Post # 6
While I agree that a bride should not be controlling what her bidesmaids do or do not do before or after the wedding…in this case I have to go against you. I’m sorry. It sounds like this means a lot to your friend and it would be very rude to show up and be in her wedding smelling like booze after she has asked you to please not drink at her wedding. I am a drinker and don’t necessarily agree with dry bars…BUT if it were me in your shoes, I would respect my friend and take a day off from drinking….or at least wait until her wedding festivities are over.
Post # 7
I don’t think anyone is going to die if they don’t get to drink for ONE DAY. This is obviously something that is important to the bride. If I were her friend I would do my best to respect her wishes on HER wedding day, despite what I may think of them. It’s not like she’s asking all of her guests to wear their underwear on the outside of the dresses/suits, or something else crazy.
Post # 8
In short if it was a dry wedding then no I would not drink at it.
If there’s no alcohol provided I would not need to drink so bad as to go purchase some from the bar. And especially not if it was a specific request of the bride and not just a $ issue.
Post # 9
This is a very special day for the bride and groom, so I think it’s appropriate to defer to their wishes and enjoy their dry reception. This is what they want, and while you don’t have to agree with their beliefs about alcohol, you can honor their wishes. I’m guessing you’re in the bridal party and have already deferred to many of the bride’s requests (dress, shoes, jewelry, possibly even hair and makeup). This is just one more thing you can do to honor her on her wedding day. You can drink as much as you want right after she and her new husband leave.
Post # 10
I think it would be best to respect the wishes of the bride and the religion that her Fiance and his family practice by not drinking during the wedding. I agree with PP that you could always have an “after party” later on with some friends that also enjoy drinking, but I think this should definitely wait until after the wedding reception and events are over. Is having a drink or two really more important than respecting your friend? It has very little to do with them shoving their beliefs down your throat, and more to do with the bride and groom wanting to celebrate their special day a certain way. The compromise would be heading out for a some cocktails once the wedding was over and other guests were departing as well. If you do it that way then you’ll respect your friends and also have a good time 🙂
Post # 11
I don’t see how this is someone shoving their religion down your throat? You are invited as a guest of honour and you have the option to decline if you are really that dead-set against a dry reception. I don’t see how it is any different from a couple getting married in a church. That is the couple’s choice and the way they choose to celebrate THEIR union. It represents them as individuals and as a couple, not you.
If you were a guest I’d say you were being overdramatic. It’s even worse since you are a member of the bridal party — you’re coming off as a bad friend. Just follow her wishes, and if you don’t want to, decline the invitation. You’ll have the opportunity to have the wedding of YOUR choice in the future.
ETA: I see that you have decided to respect the bride’s wishes. Good for you. The rest of the Bridal Party should be good friends and follow suit.
Post # 12
Can’t you guys hold off from drinking for one day? I love alcohol as much as the next person, but I would not drink during this girl’s wedding. Have yourself a drink afterwards:)
Post # 13
I probably wouldn’t drink at a dry wedding. I’ve never been to one though and can’t imagine anyone I know being that psychotic over a drink or two. Although, if the groom doesn’t care and her reasons are personal then I don’t know… It’s not really her place to control what you ingest all day – maybe just don’t drink “at” her wedding, but somewhere else on your own time? And look on the bright side, dry weddings don’t usually run very late! Hahaha.
I’d try to be respectful, but that doesn’t change the fact that I think she sounds delusional.
Post # 14
I wouldn’t bring or drink alcohol during the reception – that just seems disrespectful and unnecessary. After the reception ended, however, I wouldn’t think twice about hitting up a bar if I felt like it.
Post # 15
I went to a Muslim wedding a few years ago, where alcohol was not allowed.
I, nor anyone I knew there drank. My husband was with the groom actually at the hotel bar eating (they were not allowed at the reception, it was a female only reception and my husband was there to support the groom, but wasn’t actually allowed to be part of any of the wedding activities.) Even though they were at the hotel bar – the brides father (who is Muslim) was there, so out of respect they did not drink either.
There was one lady who sat next to me & confessed that she hopped out of the recpetion to grab a cocktail at the hotel bar – she smelled like booze & it was just really awkward considering nobody else was drinking.
Post # 16
lol, the whole issue is a bit silly I think.
1. You said she isn’t religious, rather her groom is, and he’s been very open about allowing you to do what you want so how is it a case of anyone “pushing the beliefs or their budget on my personal choices”???
2. I never understood why people would bring their own alcohol anywhere. I mean, unless it’s a party and you’ve been asked to help by bringing something. I don’t carry around food or drinks with me, why would alcohol be any different? They are graciously inviting you to their celebration and providing for you, unless you have some crazy dietary restrictions, just be happy and take what they give you!
3. Everybody has certain things that matter to them, and this apparently matters to her. I can’t imagine that it’s the topic of every conversation unless people are so crazed about it that they can’t help but bring it up. Chill out! If she/you can’t be friends with someone who has different opinions about alcohol then maybe you should part ways, though it seems like a small issue and a shallow argument.