Post # 1
I think i have developed a peanut allergy. Today, after eating a bar with peanuts, i had a hard time breathing. My fiance works about 30-35 minutes away from me. I told him through texts around 3:30. i was having an allergic reaction and took benadryl, and if i didn’t feel better in 10 minutes i was going to call an ambulance. The benadryl kicked in, put me to sleep and i felt better when i woke up. Except he hadn’t called or texted to check on me?! He also didn’t come by to see if I was okay. I told him I had taken the benadryl but also was very clear that I was having a very hard time breathing. To wait until 8 o clock to reach out to me, I could have been dead by that point. I don’t think i can marry this guy. What would you do?
Post # 3
Had he received and read your texts and calls?
Post # 4
Based only on that, it isn’t likely that I could. You know him though, not me. Have you talked to him about it? Is this a reoccuring thing? Does he often put himself before you?
Sorry for all the questions, I just need a few things clarified before I give more support or advice.
Post # 5
Are you sure that he actually got and read the first message?
If he didn’t read the message until 8pm then he didn’t know what was going on.
Post # 6
I can understand where you are coming from, but you also need to understand that if he’s at work he can drop everything right away. Things do come up. I imagine he would have expected a text if you would have been taken to the hospital or a call from the hospital for that matter, and at that point I’m sure he’d be in a hurry to be at your side. However, I think he was trusting you could take care of yourself, and if anything were to happen, he would have heard.
For my fiance, once he’s out in the field I’m on my own pretty much. If there is an ABSOLUTE emergency and I am being transported to the hospital, there’s a special number I call and dispatch contacts him. It’s not a big deal to me though because if I need him, I have the ability to contact him.
I would talk with him and see what was up, express that you were kind of upset that he didn’t seem concerned. I don’t see it as a reason to not marry someone, it sounds like there might be some other things that you are questioning?
Post # 7
@KateByDesign: Seconded, did he even get it?
Post # 8
@Everdeen: Good question. I’d want answers to that first before I thought he just didn’t give a hoot.
If he was working, he may have been “out of pocket.”
Post # 9
Yes. Lots of men are irresponsible like that. Do you have kids yet? How old is he? How long have you been together? My husband does stupid irresponsible sh*t all the time, especially when we first got together. It would take a helluva lot more than a text message for me to call off an engagement. You’ll be facing much larger hurdles than this one in the future… that’s for sure.
Post # 10
I am positive that he received the messages. He responded to them.
Post # 11
If you’re asking us this question, this is definitely NOT the first time your Fiance has been insenstive to, or has dismissed, your concerns or feelings about something important to you.
Post # 12
i can understand why your upset but unless this is something that happens often i wouldnt see it as a huge issue, he may not of got the text or not read it untill much later.
my Fiance works a very focus demanding job and has little reception, so unless he takes a break (not often) and goes outside he may not even get text messages untill he finishes work which is meant to be 5pm but sometimes not untill 7 or 8 at night
Post # 13
Well, with that said, my Husband would have called 911 for me and would have beat the ambulance to the hospital.
So, I wouldn’t. But this isn’t my decision.
Post # 15
@KellyLouise: I know there will be different obstacles in the future, but if my fiance or even a stranger was having a hard time breathing I would have been right next to them to make sure they didn’t stop breathing all together and die. I think it’s a pretty big issue if someone doesn’t care if you live and waits 4 or more hours to check up on you.
Post # 16
This would bother me but I wouldn’t call off my engagement over it. I agree with Brielle, this can’t be the first time something like this has happened if you are thinking you don’t want to marry him over it?