Would you take a job your SO didn't approve of?

posted 3 years ago in Career
Post # 3
Member
1275 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Aquaria:  If it were a legitimate question of safety that FI objected to, I would probably not take it. If it were my dream job or would lead to my dream job, though, I think I would try it. If it were just a side job and unrelated to my ultimate professional goals and FI was uneasy about it for whatever reason, I wouldn’t do it.

Post # 5
Member
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

My husband often commented that he thought I was unsafe at my former job, which was in Southwest Philadelphia.  He thinks all cities are hotbeds of insane crime.  I continued to work there, because I disagree that it’s dangerous and also because I will always want to work with children.  If they happen to be in a “bad” neighborhood, I’ll still want to teach them.

 

So really it would depend on the job.  If it’s “unsafe” because of the area, I’d shrug it off.  If the job itself were unsafe, like being a firefighter or an FBI agent, I would take his concerns into account and we’d talk about it.

Post # 7
Member
9092 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think it really depends what his safety concern is, and how badly you want to do the job

If it’s a matter of being like… a convenience store clerk in a gang riddled area, by all means I’d just find another job.

But if it’s your dream job or something, it would be a much longer conversation.

Post # 8
Member
9092 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Aquaria:  In this case I’d probably have a longer conversation about the actual safety procedures and track record of the jail you’re wanting to work at.  I work at the police station and we have internal cells as well as an underground tunnel over to the pretrial facility so I know a fair few guards.  There are many layers of safety precautions and procedures that are meant to keep them safe.  I think jobs that have a known risk, and take steps to mitigate them can often be safer than a lot of jobs where people get complacent because they’re “safe”.

Post # 10
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Aquaria:  I have an aunt who is actually doing what I thought my dream job would be–she’s a psychologist who works with the prison systems! (I worked in child care up until I got pregnant)

Her husband is a total dick that belittles her work and tells her to quit and stay home with their kids (7 and 4) all the time, despite that she got her masters’ degree just for this job.

While my DH would prefer I not put myself in a dangerous situation, I hope that he would be supportive if I ever wound up in a situation like that!

Post # 12
Member
2992 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Yes I would take a job my SO did not approve of. Of course I would listen to his reasoning, but ultimately, the decision is mine to make.

Post # 13
Member
9092 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Aquaria:  Exactly.  My mom gives me a hard time about interacting with criminals (I sometimes do parollee interviews for the ones that have to check in daily/weekly/whatever).  She’s a bank teller, and I’m like…. ok, and how many times have YOU been robbed at gunpoint?  Every client I see is searched prior to me being alone with them, and then we’re monitored by an officer while we’re talking, so someone trained to deal with situations is never more than 10 seconds away.

Post # 14
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I would talk to him more about it to see if he would come around, but I wouldn’t do it without his sincere blessing.

Post # 15
Member
868 posts
Busy bee

Really depends on the job and what he considers unsafe. I agree, something unethical to our relationship like porn star ect, I would not consider ( ovi) but what if the job you were after was something like firefighter or police officer? Those are not the safest jobs on the block but what if it was your dream? My SO considers my job unsafe and it does carry certain risks, however i am lucky in that I have my DREAM JOB, so he supports me He can.

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