Post # 1
I am not a mother yet, but I have my teenage sister living with us temporarly until she improves her school grades and gets a good start at high school. Recently, after asking her teachers how she was doing, they all replied saying that “sister’s name” uses the phone in class constantly and had to be taken away several times. Basically, the phone has become a big distraction for her. Her grades are nothing to be proud of, and we have decided to take away the phone from her and cannot take it to school. The worst thing is that she says to me most kids do the same, and she feels she shouldn’t be punished this way. She can only use it after school hours for a limited time. Am I being reasonable? Is this something as a parent you would do if the phone was affecting your child’s grades and school performance? What other things have you done to alleviate the problem? Thanks.
Post # 2
Yes, this is perfectly reasonable. Once she gets her grades up, she can have the phone back, end of story. If they start slipping again, take it away again. Cause—>Effect.
I might add that having a phone at that age is a priviledge, not a right, and if it paid for by someone other than herself, can be taken away at any time.
Post # 3
Idk she’s in high school that seems pretty childish. I wasn’t in high school too long ago but every one of us was on our cell phones all the time. I had mine taken away many times, but I had straight A+s and my very strict parents didn’t really care because everyone did it. I wouldn’t take my kids phone away but I would be sitting with them for a few hours everynight helping with homework and not letting them go anywhere after school until their work was done and I checked it. My high school now all the kids have to have Ipad for class and I’m sure that’s a bigger distraction than phones.
Post # 4
I definitely would take it away. I think it is beyond disrespectful to have your phone out during school.
Post # 5
ms_margarita: I agree. My mom is paying for it only because she wants to have a way to get ahold of her not my decision. My mom agrees with me that taking away the phone is the best thing and trust my parenting abilities. I also feel for the teachers that have to deal with kids that use their cell phone in class like there is no tomorrow.
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
candy11: Phone would be confiscated since she can’t control her use of it while at school. It also means she loses the privildges associated with having the cell phone which means she doesn’t get to go out with friends since I wouldn’t be able to contact her. I don’t care what the other kids are doing because as a parent I am only responsible for my own child and my child will not be disrespectful to their teacher by playing on or leaving out their cell phone during class. We plan to have a cell phone contract with our kid and if they violate it there are consequences including having the phone confiscated.
Post # 7
I’d certainly take the phone away from her at school and make the return of it conditional on an improvement in her grades and attention to her school work.
I’d also ignore the classic teenage defence of “everyone else does it”. Because sure, they might. But then you aren’t concerned about what “most kids” do. You are concerned about HER. Also, two wrongs don’t make a right.
No kid actually needs a phone at school. Most of us survived perfectly well before the invention of the cellphone!
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church
candy11: I definitely think you should take the phone away. It really doesn’t matter whether or not the other kids have their phones. I’ve always thought that was a silly argument. If she doesn’t like it then she needs to prove that she can handle it responsibly.
Post # 9
MrsN14: She is not yet in high school. She is an 8th grader, and even if she had staright As and was using the phone in class instead of paying attention, I would take it away. It makes the other thinks it’s ok and not respecting the teacher. My husband was a teacher for a year and this was a HUGE issue with most kids.
cls9q: Yeah, I am fine with her using the phone between classes and during lunch time not during class.
Post # 10
when i was in high school (i graduated in 2003), there was a no cell phones rule. if you got caught with your phone out during class, they took it and your parent had to come get it from the principal. we were only allowed to use it during lunch.
most schools have that rule still. at least, the ones around here. i know my niece’s elementary school had to implement that rule when she was in the second grade, because too many kids had iphones.
Post # 11
Yep, take it away. She has crap grades and doesn’t pay attention.
Post # 12
colorofmyheart: I wish they would place that rule in schools around here. Cell phone at sight means automatic confiscation! Class of 2003 here too!! 🙂
Post # 13
Yes yes yes! You are doing absolutely the right thing! More people should get the phones away from kids like you are. Perfectly reasonable to give her some time on the phone in the afternoon and then take it away.
Post # 14
candy11: yay ’03!
i just don’t understand why she needs her phone in class anyway. then again, i don’t know why kids need fancy cell phones to begin with. if you’re 10, you don’t need a smartphone. you need a cheap flip phone that sends texts. you don’t need to be able to get on the internet. kids need to be able to call home, or text their families. that’s just me, though.
i got my first cell phone (prepaid) because they got rid of every payphone in town, and my mother worked in the afternoon/evening. she wanted me to be able to call her when i got out of school in the afternoon, or if i was going to a friend’s house. i had to pay for any extra text messages i sent, or any extra minutes i used.
Post # 15
Holy hell, yes…do it! I teach high school and some teenagers become incredibly distracted by their devices. My opinion…take it away and keep it away until her grades improve and stay up for a specified amount of time. Make sure to follow through, don’t just threaten. I have seen way too many parents threaten this and then not actually do it. Teaches the kid that they can get away with it and no one can really stop them.