Post # 1
So FI and I just get a phone call from his daughter… here’s how it went:
Future Stepdaughter: “Hey dad, I was wondering what you think about me joining the army”?
FI: “Well that is a big decision but if this is what you want..blah blah blah speech”
Future Stepdaughter: “well I was thinking that you and Angkinah could have my son while I am away and if I should get killed in action then would you bring him up full time?”
Me: fell off my seat!!!
I have so many things running through my head about this WHOLE situation right now that I cannot even think straight… but I would like to know would you be prepared to take your grandchild so that your child could try to better themselvs with a career?
EDIT: The father of the child is not in the picture nor does he or his family wish to be.. the Grandmother would want him and would not be pleased with us having him! We both wortk full time and do not wish to give up work (and for the next 6 months FI and I are LDR!!)
Post # 3
Would depend on so many things….how old I am, if I’m working full time, my responsiblities outside of work, how long it would be, etc. Can’t really say without knowing those things.
Post # 4
I think it would probably be the best situation for the child (unless there is a father in the picture in which case I would think he would want to take care of him).
ETA: In the situation where the mother is alive I would hope/assume that she would be taking care of the child financially while I was raising him. In the situation where she was deceased I would hope that there is some sort of system where the military provides financial assistance.
I would never let the child go into foster care, but if there was another relative who was more eager to raise the child than I would probably be ok with that.
Post # 5
You bet I would, I rather see that child with me as a family member than go into a foster home etc…
Post # 6
Maybe i have a different opinion, but if she is old enough to have a child she is old enough to make sacrifices to raise that kid. She can find another career path that doesnt take her away from the kid for months on end. I dont see why the grandparent has to take responsibilty while the actual parent goes away, even if it is for the army. I’d personally be a big no.
But If something ever happened of course i would be willing to take the child in.
Post # 7
Yes, if I were in a position to be able to take care of the child. (Like not working a job that required lots of travel, etc.)
Post # 8
Yes I would depending on my age. My sister asked FI and I to be the ones to raise my nephew should anything happen to them. We said yes in a heart beat!
Post # 9
I would have said no, but in that situation, if she wants to join the army then yes, I would raise my grandchild. Your question actually made me wonder what happens to all kids of single parents in the military out there…
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
it seems extremely irresponsible of the mother to leave her child to join the military (I would say otherwise if she had joined the military first and had the child while on inactive duty or whatever). I wouldn’t take the child unless there were no other avenues (other than foster care) :1
Of course, I don’t like kids in the first place so I can’t imagine even having grandkids…
Post # 11
If it was a necessity that I take the child, I would.
If it was a convenience, I would encourage my daughter to look at other career options.
Post # 12
If this would be the best opportunity for her, then yes I would raise my grandchild while they were away. Without a doubt.
Post # 13
@yellowshoe: It had never crossed my mind either but makes you wonder when your put in the situation…
@MrsWBS: And in the event of a death we would agree also..but this is not the situation she is asking us about, so…..
@Swizzle: being 100% honest here this was my first reaction to this!
@asscherlover: exactly my concern about if we would end up being finacially resoponsible while she is away!
Post # 14
if she is going to do this regarless of her child then i would have the child be with me, i don’t however agree with her actions. if she was in the army before the child came along i think this would be a different story. i feel really sorry for this child if i am honest, i’m not saying a mother should not have a career, but the army… come on that got to be a case of one of the other for a single parent.
Post # 15
Well, I would first off try and convince my kid that the armed forces are not the right path (i’d be devastated if my kid served in them for many, many reasons) and try to find a way to help their career in a more direct way.
Barring that, i’d have to see whether I was in a financial and time position to take care of a child.
It’s a tough and very personal choice!
Post # 16
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Should anything ever happen to my brother and SIL, MR. LK and I have already agreed to raise our nephew and have signed all of the paperwork. When they asked us it took us about 2.2 seconds to say “yes”. Of course we would. He’s family, and family takes care of its own. Even though we don’t intend to have any bebes, it was a no-brainer for us. And if bro and SIL both had to be out of town for work at the same time, we’d be happy to look out for the little guy.