Post # 1
So one of my BM’s was in this devestating relationship that ended just after Christmas this year. The whole thing was bad, they were together for about 2 years but he treated her really poorly. We live in different parts of the country but I supported her as best I could.
She’s with someone new now, but I know she’s still hurting from the breakup, and it has scarred her and made her somewhat jaded about love.
Here’s the thing, in hindsight, I’m pretty sure she was the other woman. I think he had another life, another woman where he was living – or even in the city she was in. I don’t know this, but I strongly suspect it.
Should I say anything or should I leave it alone?
Post # 3
The relationship is over. No use pouring salt in the wound.
Post # 4
Why do you think this?
Has she been checked for STIs since they broke up?
Post # 5
@MsGinkgo: I would let it go. At the end of the day it’s not your business, and especially without any proof, I would not open a new can of worms for her to obsess or wonder over.
Post # 6
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
I would leave it alone and just support and encourage her in her new relationship.
Post # 7
What would be the point? Let the poor girl move on
Post # 8
@mrs_pudding_pop: Exactly this. Its over, just let her get over it. No sense giving her new information about an old sour relationship!
Post # 9
@MsGinkgo: I’m not sure I really understand your question or what you are hoping to accomplish by confonting your friend.
If she actually was in the situation that you’ve described, she obviously already knows that. If she was not (and, even if she was), she may be very confused and hurt by your choosing to raise this issue.
Post # 10
I would not saying anything since the relationship is long over. Further, you aren’t sure, you just have suspiscions.
Post # 11
@Brielle: @lalalyanne: @BeeinBoston: @Ms_Purple: @JennaJay13: @mrs_pudding_pop:
@worldtraveler: I guess I didn’t explain part well. The reason I wonder if I should say something is she thinks she did something wrong. That she wasn’t good enough. If she’d been better it would have worked. I think she was his girl on the side and he’s actually still with his ‘ex’.
You’re all probably right, and I didn’t think i should say anything but I wanted to get the opinion of the hive. I’ll keep my mouth shut 🙂
Post # 12
@MsGinkgo: No don’t say anything. First, you don’t actually havey any confirmation that is true. Second, it won’t help her move on to rehash an old breakup. She’s with someone else, let her move forward.
Post # 14
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
@MsGinkgo: I still don’t think telling her would 100% change her thought process. It could make her feel even worse. Things have a way of spiraling. She might still think she did something wrong or wasn’t good enough, maybe even more so to “drive him to another woman”. It doesn’t always matter if even if there is solid proof that the guy is a total slime ball! Our emotions are not always rational.
I think her feelings are somewhat normal. A lot of us feel like that after a long term relationship ends. Encouragement and getting her to let go of that negativity and focus on the positive will go a lot further. I hope her new relationship is a good one. 🙂
Post # 15
I probably wouldn’t say anything–even if you are right, she’ll just want to call him and demand answers–and no one wants that!