Post # 1
I’m a regular poster who is going anonymous. My question is:
Say – in the past – you had slept with someone who had won the Nobel Peace Prize.
Then, years later, you meet your FH. And your FH’s dream is to win the Nobel Peace Prize.
Would you tell him you’ve already ‘been’ with someone who had done that? Or would you say nothing to spare his feelings?
My DH’s dream is to win an Oscar. And, to be fair, it’s not that far off from reality.
The problem is, I had a week-long affair (before I met my DH) with someone who went on to win an Oscar. I actually watched the Oscars with my DH (BF at the time) when the guy won, but didn’t say anything. I never want my DH to feel ‘inadequate” (not that I would EVER think that, but I KNOW that he would).
Would you say anything? Or let sleeping dogs lie?
I know for a fact that he’d be shocked and hurt if I told him the truth. And to me it doesn’t seem worth the heartache. But what if he finds out? (It’s a small world…).
Anyway, what would you do in this situation?
Post # 3
I don’t think there’s anyway to g about telling him that without sounding like you’re gloating or trying to make him feel less of himself so I wouldn’t bother!
Post # 4
No. No. No. It will only cause problems
Post # 5
I am not sure why this would be a thing to consider….I don’t believe it has anything to do with the current relationship so I’d have no reason to talk about it.
Post # 6
this is one of those things you don’t bring up, unless you dated for awhile. the entertainment industry is a small business filled with more gossip than a high school cafeteria, if your husband hasn’t heard about it through the grapevine already, he likely won’t find out.
Post # 7
I’m usually about full disclosure but this time I agree with pp’s, don’t say anything.
Post # 8
It doesn’t have anything to do with your current relationship and it was only a fling anyways. So no need to say anything.
Post # 9
Yes, definitely tell him.
Post # 10
I just want to say, that when DH and I first met, and were talking about our past ‘partners’, I told him that I had slept with a producer that I met through a friend. He thought nothing of it, really.
But this year, through a series of events, my DH asked me, “What did your producer friend ever make? Nothing we’ve ever heard of, I’m sure.”
And I lied and said “No, you’ve never heard of it.”
It seems so shady but I agree with all the PP who say that I shouldn’t say anything! But it’s a bold-faced lie!!
It just seems so against every fiber of my being, yet I think it’s only right to just not say anything at all…
Post # 11
I wouldn’t have brought up the name by myself but I also wouldn’t have lied about it if I was asked. Since he asked and you lied, I would tell him.
Post # 12
Well it’s not a lie to not say anything NOW but obviously it was when you told him the guy has never made anything he had heard of. I still would probably let it go unless he brings it up and if so then be honest. And tell him what you told us. That you dient want him to doubt himself or have weird feelings about it
Post # 13
@MrsBeck: But isn’t lying better than hurting his feelings? I’m being serious. I’m not asking for judgement. Would you really do the same if you were in my shoes?
I’m not lying about a life and death situation. I’m just not telling the truth about someone I once knew…
Post # 14
@questionforyou: I can’t be the only one wondering who the person is!? Can I? LOL.
Post # 15
@questionforyou: seriously, if your husband doesn’t know by this point, he won’t. you’d just be hurting him by bringing up the past. are you in the business? if not, even more reason to keep your mouth shut.
Post # 16
Unless he directly asked me, “Hey, hun. Have you ever slept with an Oscar winner?” then I wouldn’t say anything. Why bother? It seems the only purpose would be to brag.