Post # 1
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Background: Mr. Lk and I will be TTC beginning next month. For various reasons, we will be trying the old fashion way for 6-8 months, max, before we link back up with our RE to start the medically-assisted conception process. If things don’t go as planned, IVF may be pursued even sooner than that. Having a baby is our #1 priority. My career is rewarding and I will not give it up, but I am very happy in my position right now. I have turned down advancement opportunities because taking the next step in my career is not something I am interested in at this point in time.
Situation: I was just made aware that the very, very, very big boss wants a (very complex) project that I lead to be complete no later than the end of 2015. This project would typically take 3 more years to complete, and I’ve been given 14 months and some days to make it happen. I’ve been promised a team of my choosing and whatever resources I need to make it work.
Question: Given the tight deadline, high priority level, and complex nature of this project, would you tell work your plan to TTC, the very real possibility that you may be extremely fatigued and mentally hazy for a good chunk of the project (how I felt when pregnant with DS), and quite possibly out on maternity leave at the very frenzied peak of the project’s release? If you would clue in work, would you tell your boss (that you have a fantastic relationship with)? Your team members (that you are drafting for this crazy ride)? Would you try to hand off leadership of this project to someone else who does not have the background/knowledge in the subject that you do but would have the time available to commit to giving the project what it needs? Or keep mum because maybe you won’t even be pregnant when all is said and done (a valid possibility for us)?
Post # 2
I voted no, you may not even get pregnant right away. Work has no place in knowing my family and TTC plan in my opinion. I will work as normal until I am actually about to give birth. And if you did get pregnant and have to leave at the end, there was 9 whole months (or 3-6 depending on when you announce) to get someone else up to speed.
Post # 3
Personally, I think that I would hold off on telling my boss, seeing as how I don’t think it would be very helpful, and just cause him or her to worry unnecessarily. I come from the school of thought that you come to your boss with solutions, not problems, you know? I think you should cross that bridge when you come to it. Pregnancies within the workplace happen all the time, and everyone learns to deal with it. I don’t think anyone will be mad if you end up pregnant!
Maybe as a part of assembling a great team, you pick someone who you could trust to take over, and who you could start transitioning into your role should you get a BFP!
Good luck with your TTC journey!
Post # 4
lovekiss: I would not tell my boss about my TTC plans, like other said, it might not happen immediately. I would wait at least until the first trimester is over to tell my boss only if I was very close to him/her and would be helpful to my pregnancy (maybe getting time off, work from home, avoid hazardous work enevironments, etc.).
I am not in the exact same situation as you, but I am finishing my PhD, and in a way I have certain deadlines I need to meet. In case we get lucky this coming December or beginning or next year, the goal is to give birth after my graduation. Now, being pregnant while in the program might affect me performance, but at least I would be working on my dissertation at that point and running a few experiments. My main concern is securing a job, but as I said, I might not get pregnant until we go through medically-assisted conception, and we get to decide when we’ll do that.
I think you will be fine. 😉
Post # 5
I wouldn’t tell my work until I was out of the first trimester. None of their business IMO, and they’re still going to have many months to find a replacement or work something else out.
Post # 6
Absolutely not. I would keep working hard at leading the project, and then whenever you do get pregnant, let them know early on so that a solid handover plan can be made for your maternity leave. Don’t put them on the alert for what it only a hypothetical at this point–what are they supposed to say? Do you not want to lead the project anymore? If that’s the case, then you should discuss that with your boss. But either way, I’d leave potential pregnancy out of it.
Fwiw, I am leading a complex project at work. We are finishing a 10-year study early next year and will need to start publishing our results at the end of next year….and I am pregnant and due in April. It’s going to be fine–I am training someone now who will fill in for me while I’m gone. This is life…people have to leave work for a multitude of reasons all the time. It will be just fine with your job, too. Don’t say anything until you have actual news for them, you know?
Post # 7
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Thanks for the feedback. I selected my team yesterday, and drafted the 2 close co-workers who already know what’s up. I’ve worked with both of them for the last 12 years, so I know they can be trusted and relied on to have my back. I have the option to add to my team, should I need more hands and brains. When I get my BFP, I’ll consider adding another team member to make it easier to spread my work load when I am out on maternity leave. I’m not worried about a negative response at work. My colleagues are seriously awesome, and they will be the first in line to throw a kickass baby shower. They’ve been bugging me (in a nice way) for years about having a baby.
My worry is that I have invested 7 years in this project. As much as I can try to pass on what I know, there will inevitably be key facts, tidbits, backstory, etc. that they will need and that I will have in my brain only. Asking someone to develop an adequate body of knowledge to see this through its final stages under the level of scrutiny and pressure we will be facing is not fair to my co-workers or the project. I’ve spent too long on this project to see it fail. That is my worry. My worry is that something will go wrong, I won’t be there to fix it, and all of these years of work will be for nothing. There’s always a risk that even being there will not be enough to save it. But if I am not there, I will always wonder “what if?”. Essentially, I am a perfectionist and control freak at heart. I’ve learned to let go of those tendencies to some degree. But this TTC/pregnancy while under intense pressure dealing with a complex, high priority, years upon years worth of work at stake project is bringing out all of my control freak tendencies again. Clearly I need to work on letting go.