Post # 1
My husband would like me to persuade her sister not to wear too much make up. He believes that she would listen more to me, a newcome in the family, rather than to him or her mom. They actually told her a few times, but she wouldn’t listen. I noticed she really wears a lot of foundation in a shade much darker than her skin tone and it really looks cakey. Moreover her eyes and lips are overdone as well. For our wedding, she got her make up from a make up artist and once she was home, took it off and did it her way again, cause she thought it wasn’t enough. However, I really don’t feel like talking to her about this, I mean, she’s 40 and should be able to look after herself and should have learnt how to make up by now. To me the real problem is that she’s very insecure about herself, but again, I don’t feel like talking to her. I want to be kind and friendly to her, but nothing else.
Post # 3
I think if I was in your situation I wouldn’t talk to her directly since you are not really close, because she may think you’re being rude instead of helpful. Maybe I would say something if the subject ever come up, like a conversation about girly stuff I would say something like: “Do you ever tried a light foundation, it would be gourgeus on your eyes… etc”, or something like “This look would be so good on you” using some example.
But frankly I think you mostly have to stay out of it, and let her mother talk to her about it, after all she’s already and adult, and she can do as she wants.
Post # 4
@sasi: I feel like it would just hurt her feelings. I’m sure she was offended when others in her family told her she wore to much makeup, and I’m sure she considered it. But ultimately, it’s up to her to dictate her appearance and I think if she wants to wear a lot of makeup, it’s her choice. Maybe just explain to your husband that you don’t feel comfortable talking to her about it, and want don’t want to hurt her feelings.
Post # 5
I think id keep my mouth shut. That’s like saying ‘should I tell my SIL she’s overweight?’. Um, no. That’s none of your business and would hurt her feelings
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2011 - Catholic church followed by a botanical conservatory
If your husband thinks his sister wears too much makeup, he should tell her because they are related. I am positive that she would not appreciate hearing this from you.
And if the rest of the family has already told her, she probably doesn’t care. Hearing it from you will probably just make her upset. Good luck dear!
Post # 7
Post # 8
@sasi: Absolutely not! If she won’t listen to the people in the family, who she’s known all her life, why would she listen to you? And, worst case, what if her reply is, “Did my family tell you to say something?”
Stay out of it. I *might* if it was something cancer threatening, but this is something far, far less serious.
Post # 9
She’s a 40 year old woman, not a child. If she wants to cake on her makeup that’s her prerogative. She’s not hurting anyone. No, you shouldn’t say anything and frankly, neither should your husband.
Post # 10
If your close then maybe you could go shopping one day and get your makeup done, although as you said she’s redone it after a mua has done it before.
Otherwise then I wouldnt say anything, for all anyone knows she might have BDD or feel insecure without it on. +loads of women wear tonnes of makeup so it’s not so stand outish anyway.
Post # 11
Don’t get involved. It’s none of your business. It’s also none of your husband’s business, but if he really has something to say he should tell her directly instead of getting you caught in the middle.
Post # 12
I personally would not unless you have a really, really good and open relationship with her.
Post # 13
thanks girls! I’ll keep my mouth shut and that’s it. It’s her life and she’s free to do what she wants. I know make up it’s not an important issue, but was curious to hear other ladies’s opinion. Thanks!
Post # 14
Don’t say anything. She’s had her makeup done by a professional and she’s clearly insecure in changing the way it’s done. She’s 40 and a grown woman and has eyes for herself and has been told before. I don’t think telling her will help. It will probably crush her self esteem and make her resent you. Don’t do it!
Post # 15
I don’t want to sound judgemental or hyper critical, but this is what I really think: My sister-in-law’s problem is insecurity and lack of independence rather than make up. Some examples: she still lives at her mom, in spite of her age, she’s not able to make herself a dish of pasta or any simple meal and when we are gathered together for a meal she keeps playing and texting with her mobile phone and she was doing this even on Christmas Eve, during the dinner. Although she has a job and a wage she always wastes all her money on useless things and always borrows cash from her parents. Moreover she often ends up with superficial men which she meets on the social networks, and they always say bye bye after a few days. This is probably the real reason why my husband is worried, and to him her heavy make up and tacky outfit reflects the woman she is.
Post # 16
@sasi: Stay out of it. No good will come of you saying anything to her.