Would you TTC if you are a MOH in 9 mos?

posted 2 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Personally I would wait. Not just so the bride doesn’t have to deal with the challenges of a very pregnant MOH, but because at 9 months pregnant I wouldn’t want to spend a day being on point and on my feet in such an exhausting way. One extra month would make it a LOT easier to do! 

Post # 4
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think it depends on numerous factors. If you are 24 and have no known health issues, yeah, you could wait. If you are a little older and/or might have some health issues, I would say being a mother for the rest of your life trumps being a MOH for one day. That being said, I wouldn’t wait three months to tell your friend if you do get pregnant. I would tell her immediately so that she can ask someone else, even if people do typically wait until the risk of MC has mostly passed. If she loves you, she will understand. My SIL was going to be one of my bridesmaids and then had to back out because she got pregnant and doesn’t want to travel when she is 8 months along. I was a little sad but mainly just excited for her and my brother. 

Post # 6
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

hollyberry4:  Personally, I wouldn’t wait. You never know how long it might take to concieve. I think you could wait one cycle if you really wanted to, but you still run the risk of being 8 months along for the wedding. And lots of ladies have their babies early. I’d try, and if you get pregnant, let the bride know and offer to step down as MOH and still help out. Or you won’t get pregnant and it’ll be a non issue. It’s truely up to you though. 

Post # 8
Member
1847 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would wait one cycle and then start trying again.. just because you already have committed to being MOH. I work in the schools as well, so I understand about wanting to try to plan the pregnancy so that you hit late spring, but I wouldn’t put off TTC a whole 9 months just because of that… Our LO is due in January, so I’m hoping to be able to take the rest of the semester off, but if not, it’ll only be a couple months of work, and then all summer off.

Post # 9
Member
9531 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would probably try, but step down, immediately, if you do get preggers. I had an MOH who had a two month old, but I cant imagine if she had a week old baby!

Post # 10
Member
1275 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I wouldn’t wait, but I would step down if you get a BFP.  My wedding is on Saturday and my MOH is 41 weeks pregnant.  It is a huge stressor.  I don’t even know if she will be there.  I wish she had stepped down when I offered her an alternative – I would not have been upset with her at all.  This scenario, this whole “just wait and see” thing, when we are talking about SO MUCH MONEY that will be wasted if she can’t attend, is just so stressful.

If you do get pregnant, I would tell the bride that you’d love to be her “honorary MOH” and attend events and be supportive during planning, but that you’d prefer to not try to guess what size you’ll be for a gown and that you’d prefer to not have any day-of responsibilities should you go into labor, say, the day before the wedding.  You want it to be stress-free for the both of you.

Post # 12
Member
1847 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

hollyberry4:  Yeah, the beginning of the year would suck.. My teacher friend had a baby in August and took leave until mid-October.. 

The thing I learned through my TTC process is that I can’t bank on ‘timing’… it was 5 cycles before my BFP! So those that get that magic timing are pretty lucky! 🙂 If I can, I’ll take the rest of the school year off, then have the summer off, and put LO in daycare in the fall… if that doesn’t work out, I’ll have to put LO in daycare probably from March-May, then have the summer off, then back again in the fall…

Post # 13
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t wait. You really don’t know how long it’s going to take and if you’re ready now and the timing fits with your work schedule, go for it. I like the honorary MOH idea. 

I’m assuming that you’re close (MOH!), so does the bride know that you’re TTC? I feel like any reasonable person would understand! I would just make sure that you’re completely honest with her and keep her in the loop.

Post # 15
Member
877 posts
Busy bee

I think if you are trying to start a family, and this is a dear friend, the bride will handle it if your big day happens on or near her big day.   So my suggestion is don’t worry about one day in the life of a friendship.  If it happens, then you’ll deal with it!  

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