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i read this other interesting post regarding a wife who found out her father in law was watching young girls sex video and she was concern about telling her husband and the well being of her child.
It got me thinking how a lot of family protects these child predators if they were family members, such has husband, parents, siblings ( I know some people also turn them into the authority as well) but my question is, what would you do if you found out that your own parents or your spouses parents had inappropriate materials like that, what would you do?
I would definitely turn the person in, no matter who it was but I find it hard to understand why some people wouldn't.
here is the link to the post if you want to read:
If there was actual child abuse, I am required by law. I work with children at an after school program and if I suspect abuse of any kind, I have to report it. If I don't I could be charged with aiding the abuse and get jail time/a fine.
As far as this incident, it hits a little too close to home so I won't comment.
That's an excellent question and my answer is that I would. I'm fortunate in that I don't have to deal with that issue in my own family, but being a survivor of sexual abuse at the age of 15 by a family friend, I would have no qualms reporting it. None, zip, nada. I would be pained if it was a family member, but I would absolutely do it.
I actually work in criminal defense and deal with men and women in this situation every day. I would turn whoever it was in.. but I cant judge anyone who hasnt because Ive never actually been in that situation. I just would fear for myself and any children around and would not want to risk anything!
I absolutely would. Without a doubt.
If it were something that could have been a mistake (for example, FIL searches something innocent on google and the search engine comes up with inappropriate results), I would ask about it first.
But if I were sure that something innappropriate were taking place I wouldn't hesitate to report it.
I would absolutely turn them in. Immediately after I stopped throwing up.
In the case above, it doesn't seem like a misunderstanding. I would report him.
If it was some other crime, like a theft, though, I probably wouldn't. Sexual predators are much more black and white.
I would 100% turn someone in. That is a child that can't defend him/herself someone would need to speak up, and it would be me...after I got done beating the tar out of the person. Thankfully I'm fortunate enough to have a wonderful family as is FI where something like this wouldn't happen.
I would definitely turn them in. I don't care if it was my brother, father, cousin, or father-in-law. This is a non-negotiable situation. If a child may be endangered or is being abused than it is our RESPONSIBILITY to ensure that it doesn't continue.
A distant relative of FI was actually sexually abusing his daughter for YEARS and NO one said anything about it (apparently the wife, brother and grandparents knew). It wasn't until the younger brother that stood up and moved out and said something that everyone figured out what was going on.
Seriously - I will NEVER understand what would prompt a family to keep that type of secret. It does NO ONE any good to keep it a secret.
It is mandatory that I report abuse issues b/c of my job. But I would not hesitate in the least if I was not required by law to report suspicions of abuse.
I'm also a mandated reporter. But I would report it in a heartbeart, anyways, right after I nonchalantly picked up any kids in the home and put them somewhere safe.
I'm the lady that calls the police for everything, so yes. I work on a police-community relations council, and my officers I work with have taught me it's best to be an overreporter than an underreporter.
For instance, I was at the grocery store once, and two kids under 10 were alone in a car, and I called the police and reported the car. I don't care if you are just running in somewhere, kids should never be left alone in a car, especially in a major metro area.
I'm a mandatory reporter as well... but aside from that YES. This woman definitely needs to have a conversation with her husband ASAP and they need to report it together.
@Ilikepink "the lady that calls the police for everything"- thats great.
I never had to do this in my family (thank god!)- but I did call the police on my next door neighbor who I knew was neglecting and physically abusing her son. Maybe it was easier because it was a neighbor- but I didn't hesitate.
Just curious as I am not familiar with the term but what is a "mandatory reporter"? Is that a status or title that you get from a job?
Yes, certain professionals who work closely with children (such as doctors and day care providers) are required by law to report suspected cases of child abuse. If they fail to report it they can get in a lot of trouble.
Correct me if I'm wrong here, but I believe mandated reporters are only responsible to report suspected abuse to their own students or patients. I don't think it applies in situations outside of the setting you are employed in, similar to the way the doctors and healthcare workers are not required to help any stranger that needs medical help on the street. I'm not saying that you shouldn't report suspected abuse in all cases, I'm just wondering, especially since I too have been a mandated reporter in the past.
Nope, wouldn't report it to anyone. I'd just lure that predator out in the woods alone and shoot him dead. (No sarcasm, I really would.)
ohhhh gotcha, ya my co worker was telling me that she got reported by her doctor because her child had a bruise or something
Yes. I'd be so p.o'ed if I found out a man I trusted with my kid was a suspected predator and it was too late.
Report them. Yeah, I may have love(d) that individual but if that happened then I know that I could never just ignore it or even love them again; they need to experience the full extent of the law and punisment. I grew up being physically and emotionally abused, and people knew and didn't report it (a minor shouldn't have to report it themselves).
Is she scared her hubs won't believe her? That's the ONLY thing I can think of. She might be so scared that her hubs won't believe her, will leave her, or something like that. How would you react if your SO said something like that to you? "Honey, your dad has videos of children in sexual situations". Unless there was something off about Dad, his son/her hub is going to be in shock/disbelief and might not want to believe her. BUT no excuse.
Absolutely. There is no excuse AT ALL for child abuse (or abuse of an adult for that matter) and if it is not reported to the proper authorities, then you are advocating and encouraging the behavior to continue. Why would you allow this to go on if you even remotely suspected it? People like that have no business being around minors at all.
My stomach is doing flip flops right now...this topic is hitting really close to home.
Bees, one week ago yesterday, a two year old little boy that I know died at the hands of his abuser. He was left in the care of a man with a history of domestic violence, child abuse, armed robbery, and aggravated assault. In fact, his mother was once hospitalized because of injuries caused by the very monster who took her son's life. This little boy's father was in the middle of a custody battle -- a battle specifically aimed at keeping him away from this man. The head injuries that he sustained were equivalent to a head on collision without a seatbelt.
I know the circumstances surrounding this situation are very controversial and I'm not in any way, shape, or form trying to spark debate or speculation here. (This is still a very fresh and open wound for me. I'm having a really tough time trying to cope.) I'm simply sharing our story in hopes of drawing attention to the seriousness of child abuse. Children are fragile, innocent beings and I strongly believe that as adults, we MUST protect them.
If you have reason to suspect or have witnessed child abuse, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE report it. Our local police department interviewed witnesses who admit to having seen this little boy get slapped and hit in the head, face, and neck over the last few weeks. The HUGE problem is, no one ever said a word to any kind of authority and now we can't help but wonder if this little guy would still be here today had someone said something. No one will ever know...but one thing is for sure, he's in a safer place now.
PS - Please know that while I say I know this little boy, I know him through his mother who was an acquaintance of mine. We worked together and had a very friendly working relationship (we were pregnant at the same time and planned "baby stuff" together) but I was not an active member of her life outside of our work place. Never once have I seen or heard of any abuse within her family.
I'm so sorry to hear that MadiLove. I wish and hope that people become more vigilent and actually report it...
Beekiss,
Thanks for your kind words. I know this incident has been a HUGE wake up call for our community. It's unfortunate that a life had to be lost for people to realize just how serious abuse is.
I'm honestly finding comfort in reading all of the replies to this thread. Our Bees are at 100% for reporters!
H*LL to the yes I would. In a second. In a heartbeat.
I called the police on a woman beating her kid in Wal-Mart (yes I am serious, and whoa was she pissed as hell at me) her daughter already had bruises on her arms and there was no way no how I was turning a blind eye to that.
I am a firm believer in if they will BEAT their kids in public they'll do a heck-of-a lot worse in private.
When someone/something is being hurt, I dont mind my own business very well.
ya I agree, I tend to get angry when I see parents taking their children out at late hours of the night and smoking around them. sigh
I'm a mandated reporter too, but a previous poster is right--in your JOB you are legally required to report, but if it's outside of work, it is up to your personal judgement. But either way, I would report for SURE!
Without a doubt I would, I'm a mandated reporter because of my job, but either way I wouldn't think twice about it!
Uh heck Yeah. I am a mandated reported, which only means I must report on the job. But I would absolutely carry the same standards elsewhere.
Well, I'm a mandated reporter by the nature of my job. Its really difficult to do so, even though I don't know these people on a personal level. There are a lot of complexities people wouldn't even imagine. I've had the victims end up angry with me for a number of reason. However, I will always report it; regardless of it being a job requirement, if I know the people involved, if I'm related to the perpetrator, or if its just suspected child abuse. I will never hesitate, because I've seen what happens when someone doesn't move soon enough.
ABSO-FREAKIN'-LUTELY, I would report it. Unfortunately, I am sad to say that my hubs, his brother. mother and pets have all been physically & verbally abused by the one man in their life that was supposed to protect them, his father. So I have absolutely no qualms about reporting someone I believe is doing harm to another. I sometimes wish I was around my hubs when he was growing up so that I could have helped.
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