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My fiance and I always thought we would upgrade my e-ring later on in life when we had more disposable income, but now I'm sure I won't. I love my ring and it's plenty big, but he still wants to upgrade. This is what changed my mind:
Either the first or second Christmas with my fiance (then boyfriend), he got me a beautiful pair of diamond stud earrings. They were pretty small (.25 ctw), but really sparkly. I wore them all the time. I'd had them for about a year or so and one day as we were walking through the mall, we decided to trade them in at Kay Jewelers for a bigger pair. Naturally, I was excited at the idea of a bigger pair, but when it came time to hand them over, I almost wanted to cry. A sudden surge of sentimentality came over me, I didn't want to give them up because they had more meaning than I realized--it was the first diamond jewelry my fiance had given me. Ultimately, I gave them up and now I wear the new pair almost everyday. I like my new earrings becaue they're pretty, but they don't have the same sentimental value as the first, smaller pair. I miss those earrings and looking back, I wish my fiance had just gotten a whole new pair of earrings instead of trading them in.
I also think the way we went about it was less special also. Maybe if he had traded them in and presented me with the new earrings in some special way, I wouldn't feel this way. But whatever the case, I urge anyone considering an upgrade to really think about it.
So in conclusion, I know now that I could never part with my e-ring. If he wants to upgrade, he's just going to have to get a whole new ring and not trade my e-ring. I just wanted to put that out there for any brides who are considering upgrading. Anyone have a similar situation or unsure if they would upgrade their rings?
Let him buy you a great past, present, future or right hand ring but keep your baby! That ring will remind you of who you were and the feelings you felt the first time he slipped it on your finger... plus your right hand is probably feeling lonely!
I thought I might do this before we got engaged - I wasn't expecting a huge diamond since we're really young. But FI got me a 1-carat ring, which I love. Also, he recently told me that he felt that he picked my specific diamond out specially and would probably be hurt if I traded it. So I don't think we're doing it anymore.
I would absolutely upgrade if I decided that's what I wanted to do. I don't get that attached to things, usually; maybe I'm just not a sentimental person. A diamond is just a diamond, not the relationship it stands for. I wouldn't trade in my relationship. :) I don't care that much about the ring.
My FI wanted to upgrade my ring at first, since the one he proposed with was supposed to be just a trade in. But I grew attached to it, and refused to trade it in when we went to the jeweler. The other rings just didn't look special to me. I'm glad I kept it, even though it's cheaper than what he expected to pay. I like the fact that he picked it out himself. :)
Sorry to hear about your earrings, though :( Do you have a picture of you wearing them at least? At least you have the memories, that's the important part!
I don't think I could trade my e-ring either. I would feel better about it if I kept the same band and just traded the center stone, but in all honesty, I love my ring the way it is and what it means to me!
Maybe instead of trading in the ring, you can just upgrade the solitaire in it and keep the original setting? That's what we'll probably end up doing, although probably not for a very long time.
I know for my wedding band, which came with my e-ring, neither of us are in love with it. We got quotes done to get two new ones made, one for either side. Since my e-ring has a type of split band, a straight wedding ring won't sit flush against it. They'll have to be custom made.
I totally would, but I would also downgrade my setting if that makes sense. I'd drop one or both of my 3/4 carat bands off in favor of a larger center stone (which i think would look better with my very wide band in all honesty--right now it's the same thickness and doesn't stand out much). Well, I think I would. Who knows, it might just look awesome if i keep the bands. But i'm not overly attached to the stone he necessarily proposed with...I'm just not really a sentimental person who gets attached to things. If presented with the opportunity (say a 10 year anniversary) to trade in my stone or get something new, I could see myself trading it in! I've even mentioned it to him before--and he's cool with it as long as he asks me first, not me asking him for an upgrade..otherwise he said i seem greedy. He wants it to be an original idea from himself I guess...if that makes sense.
I wouldn't trade my e-ring in. Actually, I made it a point to let my FI know that whatever I started out with, I would keep. Neither of us believe in upgrading rings. So he designed my ring for me with that in mind. I don't wear other rings at all...I never intend to...my e-ring and wedding band will be it so he made sure they were both fabulous.
nah... i'd keep the one he got for me, especially because he has put such an emphasis on picking it out and surprising me.. that baby will be glued to my left finger fuh-eva!! or at least until it's time for one of our grands to get married, then i'll let it go to them... sigh...
I never thought of myself as the sentimental type which is why I always thought we'd upgrade and also why I was so surprised how I felt when it was time to trade the earrings.
Thanks for all the feedback! I'm pretty new here and this place rocks!
My husband didn't have a ton of money when he bought my ring, and while he never suggested upgrading, if he offered, I would do it.
My ring is a halo setting with diamonds all around the band and center stone. But the center stone is about .32 carats. It's perfect cut, clarity and color, but yeah, it's small. I have large fingers, so sometimes, it makes me fingers look bigger than they are. I love it. I really do. But yeah, I'd be happy with an ungrade :)
My original band broke, so we took the main stone out and had it reset into a new setting and band that I totally consider an upgrade. I loved my ring before, but I absolutely adore it now.
Before I got engaged I thought I probably would. I knew that my FI could probably afford about 1 ct and my "ideal" size of a stone (if we had the money-- i would have killed him if he spent this much when we're house hunting!!!) would be 1.5-2ct. I ended up with an almost perfect 1ct and wow is it sparkly! I definitely could not give up this diamond and just trade it in for another one.
In theory, I guess I would get a new bigger center stone and keep this stone to set in a pendant or something... but really my ring is gorgeous and the cost of buying a new bigger stone is so huge I just don't think it will ever be a priority in my house.
Currently, I don't think I could even consider upgrading it even if I could. My fiancee said we could in the future when he first proposed (he apologized for the diamond being smaller) but it means too much to me and the stone is nearly perfect quality. He spent so much time and research in choosing the perfect ring for me! If I ever were to upgrade in the future, I might consider maybe keeping the same diamond (I have a solitaire) and adding two smaller ones on the side to make a past, present, future ring. But as of now, I don't think I ever could!!!
I dont think that i would ever consider updgrading my ring ever. it means to much to me knowing he went to the store, looked at all the rings and picked that one out for me. He told me a couple weeks after he gave it to me if i wanted to upgrade in the future he wouldnt mind, but i told him there is no way i would want to! I love my ring. I did tell him though i would want one of those enhancers at some point because i like them, but i wouldnt never trade in my original ring.. just spice it up.
I am way too sentimental - I never could upgrade!
Even if something happened to one of my small diamonds I would feel bad that the ring wasn't the way it was when FI gave it to me!
I would if Mr TM wouldn't mind but we haven't really talked about it and I'm definitely not going to be the one to bring it up!
I think I would rather have a right hand ring instead. My e-ring is an heirloom so i couldn't switch it out.
In January it will be 1 year that I have had my engagement ring. We picked it together, so there is no emotional attachment in the sense that he picked it all by himself, therefore I don't want to change it or hurt his feelings. Ever since we started shopping for wedding bands I realized that I should have gone with my initial inkling to get the 3 stone ring over the solitaire we ended up deciding on. It started to really bother me. I don't know why, but it just did so I talked to FI about it and he was on board with me changing the setting. Now, i am keeping my center stone, it's absolutely stunning and sparkly, but I am upgrading my setting to a 3 stone as opposed the solitaire one it had before. My ring is at the jewelers right now and I'm anxiously awaiting it's return.
I initially suggested we sell the original platinum setting or take it to one of those jewelers that is doing the buy gold thing (they buy platinum too in most cases) but FI said we'd never get what he paid for it and to keep it and maybe he can set it with a sapphire or something for me as an anniversay gift. I like this idea, as someday I know I'll be able to wear the initial setting again and I'll also have my engagement ring the way I really want it.
So, in short...Yes I would upgrade, I feel as though even though I am keeping my original center stone, the new setting is an upgrade and I'm super excited.
When my FI and I began discussing engagement, I expected my engagement ring would be "small" because, lets face it, we're poor college students lol. I always figured we'd upgrade a few years after we got married and had a larger income. However, when he proposed I was shocked to see a beautiful, shiny 1 carat engagement ring! I absolutely adore it. It's so special to me because he saved up for a while for it and I'm just so proud of him. Everytime I look at it, I remember how special the night we got engaged was. Years from now if we still desire to upgrade, I don't think I could EVER just trade it in. Perhaps we'll purchase me a new ring all together, in which case I would wear my current engagement ring as a right hand ring. It took me almost four years to get this ring and there's so much sentiment behind it, I can't see myself ever just handing it over. But I'm an emotional sap and a pack rat at that, I hold onto everything!
I wouldn't. The ring doesn't matter, but the sentiment attached to it does. My guy's taste is so good that I highly doubt he'll pick something I'm not happy with anyway. Upgrading is just not my style.
...OK. And I can't help but think of guys comparing dick size when women say they want to get "bigger and better" rings. LOL!
I'm spoiled, and I got my absolute dream ring when FI proposed, so I'm not planning on upgrading EVER. (Not that my current diamond is huge... but I have small fingers, and I wouldn't really be comfortable with anything bigger.) I can't imagine ever wanting any other ring than the one I have now.
I wouldn't upgrade mine, but I would love to something like my dad did for my mom. For their 25th wedding anniversary, he bought her a new diamond ring that fits with their relationship.
My dad is a really big, loud guy with a mild learning disability. He is a stereotypical construction worker (swears a lot, tells the raunchiest jokes). For their 25th wedding anniversary he bought my mom a huge canary diamond ring with a visible flaw in it - and he wrote her a note that he included in the box it said "It is big and flawed, just like me". She wears it on her right hand and I think it means more to her than her original wedding set.
It was just the sweetest gesture - and everyone who knows my dad loves the story (he is really just the biggest teddy bear - a teddy bear who swears and tells dirty jokes LOL)
I want to keep the ring we picked out together. Whatever other pieces of jewelry he may choose down the road to give to me, well, that would just be icing on the cake.
@MsMini- love the story! My dad gave my mom a new diamond on their 30th anniversay b/c he said he never realized how small it was. Every once and awhile she'll wear that ring on her right finger, but it has never replaced the original.
No way! I love my ring! It's perfect! I had to drop it off on Sunday for cleaning/retightening/re-dipping and I almost cried! I miss it, but at least I know it will be back on Sat. I don't want to feel that way all the time!
I would definitely upgrade. It's just a ring that represents my relationship and I think a bigger diamond would still represent our relationship just fine. I'm happy with the ring because it's platinum and I think timeless, but I would like a bigger center diamond. Honestly, if I had gotten a 1 carat or larger I probably wouldn't care about an upgrade, but my dream size is 1.25 - 1.5. An upgrade to me represents the relationship evolving.
@MsMini I love your parents quirky story.....totally sweet....i even read it to my FI.
As far as upgrading goes for me.......my FI went BIG (2.74 princess) right off the bat. I love it and it is just a simple solitaire but at some point I actaully want to change the setting. Right now it is set just how I like it but we were originally going to have custom ring made and when we found this ring we decided to go for it the way it was. Only change we made was a new trellis setting because I kept braking the band from when it had to be resized!!
if EVER for some crazy reason we decide to "upgrade" I will forever want to keep my original ring.......
@MsMini, your parents' story is too sweet. :)
@Aqua: I'm surprised so few of us feel that way, but I agree with your reasoning! We always acknowledge in relationships (at least, good relationships) that people change and that the relationship is not static. Why should your ring be? If your tastes in jewelry happen to change, does that mean you love your partner any less? :)
Before FI proposed, I mentioned at one point that my ideal ring would be a 1.5 carat solitaire. I never expected that I'd actually get that, but he said he got me that so I would never have to upgrade. And I don't think I will ever trade in the stone - it's the perfect size for my fingers and it's stunning.
The setting, however, is just a simple 6-prong 14K white gold band. I love it, but I don't adore it. At least I thought I didn't. For the first couple months of our engagement, I kept toying with the idea of re-setting it in platinum. FI gave me the go-ahead, but when it actually came time to do it, I couldn't part with the original setting. I love it because it's the ring he proposed with, the one that he picked for its delicateness.
I still think that years from now I might "upgrade" the setting on my ring to platinum, maybe even add some side stones. But I would never trade in the diamond.
I don't think I would but mostly because my FI would be offended and go nuts if I asked. I do admit I get a little diamond jealousy from time to time so my future plan of action is on special anniversaries get other blingy bands that I can wear around it to really bring out the sparkle.
I wouldn't trade my engagement ring or want to upgrade - I love it! That being said I wouldn't mind a beautiful or sparkly token of affection once we have children or for other milestones down the road...
I will happily accept ANOTHER ring, but I couldn't ever trade mine in! I have a 100% natural, untreated sapphire, so it's literally irreplacable! The color is really unique :)
I don't think I'll ever feel the need to upgrade my ring. Yes, it's small. Compared to the huge 4 carat princess cut e-rings that you get nowadays my ring is practically tiny at under 1 carat. But it perfectly fits me, my style and my lifestyle.
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