Post # 1
Would you ever use a surrogate?
Pretend you were able to carry a baby yourself.
Also pretend you could more or less could afford it. You’re not super rich, but it would be within your means; you might have to save for a while for it though.
Also, your S/O is fine with either way you choose.
Would you do it? I know that many of these reasons may apply, but pick your TOP reason, and then comment on other reasons…
Post # 3
@yanamari: No, for ALL of the reasons listed above.
Post # 4
No because I’d want to experience pregnancy and bonding with my child. I wouldn’t want to look at another woman carrying my offspring and think “oh I wish that were me”
Post # 5
No. Not even sure why. But this isn’t for us.
Post # 6
One of my coworkers asked me about this the other day. She had a baby 3 months ago and desperately wants to be pregnant again. She mentioned it to me b/c she knows DH and I are having fertility issues and just assumes that means I can’t carry a baby.
Her and her DH are having major money issues and she said she could make $60k carrying someone else’s kid….which is more than the 2 of them combined could make in a year. Someone mentioned she might get attached to the baby and not want to give it up….she swears that since she wasn’t attached to her last pregnancy it wouldn’t be a problem….although she IS a great mother.
I think legally it would cause too much stress for me to ever consider it….I would rather adopt…although I did have a failed adoption attempt only 3 weeks prior to the baby’s birth b/c the birth father refused to relinquish rights….so at the moment, adoption is off the table too. If fertility treatments don’t work, I’ll just have to accept that I wasn’t meant to be a mother.
Post # 7
I guess it is hard to say unless you were in the situation where that was your only option for having a biological child. I know I want to be a mother. No doubt. But if it got to that point it would be a tough decision between that or adoption.
Post # 8
No, I would not. If I could not carry our own child I would adopt. However, I would be a surrogate for my sister, if she ever needed it.
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club
If I could carry my own child, then no.. if I couldn’t, I would either adopt or use a surrogate.
Post # 10
No because we already have 2 and that is enough for Fi and I but I have always wanted to be a surrogate.
Post # 11
No, I want the experience (considering everything is normal). However, my best friend is gay and I’ve thought about offering to do it in the future for him and his partner (they don’t want kids for at least 7 or 8 years), but I’m not sure how FI would feel about it. I know it would be difficult, but I know how badly they want kids and I know they’d be great parents… and I wouldn’t do it for anyone – they’d probably be the only couple.
Post # 12
Nope, but not for any of the reasons mentioned. I would just rather adopt if I couldnt have my own kid.
Post # 13
i hated being pregnant and didnt really feel attached to my baby while he was in utero. so, yes, if i HAD to, i’d use one.
Post # 14
No way! If I was physically able to carry my child I would not use a surrogate. My mom is a really hot Mom at 40 something so that gives me hope my body won’t be destroyed.
Post # 15
I don’t know if i’ll want children, but assuming I do end up wanting them, I would consider it.
The main reason is that I don’t want to give up horse riding for months. It’s my life, I love it and I just DON’T want to give it up at all, even if it IS only for a few months. I know you CAN ride while pregnant, but if I ended up falling and losing the baby, I would probably have a lot of guilt over that and I imagine FH would carry resentment over it. Our horses are all very well behaved, but accidents happen. So it kind of seems like either I give up horse riding and carry a child, or I ride and don’t. As I have no desire right now to be a mum, the choice is obvious. That may change one day, but who knows.
I wonder though if i’d feel as maternal if I wasn’t the one carrying the baby. For some reason I don’t think I would.
My guess is that IF I do want children one day, i’ll want to carry them myself, but I wouldn’t rule it out because right now there is just no way i’d give up riding to carry a baby.
Post # 16
no, because I would rather adopt than go to extremes like that.