Would you use a surrogate?

posted 5 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Would you use a surrogate?
    Yes. I don't want to be pregnant and/or have my body destroyed : (17 votes)
    9 %
    Yes. Mostly because I would be able to stay/return to work faster : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Yes. It would be safer for me : (10 votes)
    5 %
    No. It's unnatural : (8 votes)
    4 %
    No. I wouldn't trust anyone else with carrying my baby/legal implications : (15 votes)
    8 %
    No. I'd rather spend the money elsewhere/I don't want to wait : (8 votes)
    4 %
    No. I want the mother/child bonding and/or want the experience of pregnancy : (77 votes)
    42 %
    No. I don't want to have to deal with explaining it to people : (1 votes)
    1 %
    I don't want kids, so this doesn't apply to me : (2 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 4
    Member
    1430 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    No because I’d want to experience pregnancy and bonding with my child. I wouldn’t want to look at another woman carrying my offspring and think “oh I wish that were me”

    Post # 5
    Member
    3092 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    No.  Not even sure why.  But this isn’t for us.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1406 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    One of my coworkers asked me about this the other day.  She had a baby 3 months ago and desperately wants to be pregnant again.  She mentioned it to me b/c she knows DH and I are having fertility issues and just assumes that means I can’t carry a baby. 

    Her and her DH are having major money issues and she said she could make $60k carrying someone else’s kid….which is more than the 2 of them combined could make in a year.  Someone mentioned she might get attached to the baby and not want to give it up….she swears that since she wasn’t attached to her last pregnancy it wouldn’t be a problem….although she IS a great mother.

    I think legally it would cause too much stress for me to ever consider it….I would rather adopt…although I did have a failed adoption attempt only 3 weeks prior to the baby’s birth b/c the birth father refused to relinquish rights….so at the moment, adoption is off the table too.  If fertility treatments don’t work, I’ll just have to accept that I wasn’t meant to be a mother. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1432 posts
    Bumble bee

    I guess it is hard to say unless you were in the situation where that was your only option for having a biological child. I know I want to be a mother. No doubt. But if it got to that point it would be a tough decision between that or adoption.

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    1301 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    No, I would not. If I could not carry our own child I would adopt. However, I would be a surrogate for my sister, if she ever needed it. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1578 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

    If I could carry my own child, then no.. if I couldn’t, I would either adopt or use a surrogate.

    Post # 10
    Member
    4653 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    No because we already have 2 and that is enough for Fi and I but I have always wanted to be a surrogate. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    407 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    No, I want the experience (considering everything is normal). However, my best friend is gay and I’ve thought about offering to do it in the future for him and his partner (they don’t want kids for at least 7 or 8 years), but I’m not sure how FI would feel about it. I know it would be difficult, but I know how badly they want kids and I know they’d be great parents… and I wouldn’t do it for anyone – they’d probably be the only couple.

    Post # 12
    Member
    8487 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Nope, but not for any of the reasons mentioned. I would just rather adopt if I couldnt have my own kid.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1684 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    i hated being pregnant and didnt really feel attached to my baby while he was in utero. so, yes, if i HAD to, i’d use one.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1122 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    No way! If I was physically able to carry my child I would not use a surrogate. My mom is a really hot Mom at 40 something so that gives me hope my body won’t be destroyed.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1348 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    Maybe.

    I don’t know if i’ll want children, but assuming I do end up wanting them, I would consider it.

    The main reason is that I don’t want to give up horse riding for months. It’s my life, I love it and I just DON’T want to give it up at all, even if it IS only for a few months. I know you CAN ride while pregnant, but if I ended up falling and losing the baby, I would probably have a lot of guilt over that and I imagine FH would carry resentment over it. Our horses are all very well behaved, but accidents happen. So it kind of seems like either I give up horse riding and carry a child, or I ride and don’t. As I have no desire right now to be a mum, the choice is obvious. That may change one day, but who knows.

    I wonder though if i’d feel as maternal if I wasn’t the one carrying the baby. For some reason I don’t think I would.

    My guess is that IF I do want children one day, i’ll want to carry them myself, but I wouldn’t rule it out because right now there is just no way i’d give up riding to carry a baby.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2462 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    no, because I would rather adopt than go to extremes like that. 

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