Would you visit an ex that's critically ill?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee

SnowInApril:  In this case, if you are comfortable going, i think i would.

There are a few ex’s that though ended badly, i would go see.

There is one i would not. So you need to decide if this is something you want. God Forbid something happened, would you regret not going? I think it is really nice of your DH to leave the decision up to you. 

Post # 3
Hostess
9907 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

SnowInApril:  I think I would go – especially if you have your DH encouraging you to do so.

Post # 4
Member
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Either Philadelphia City Hall or a small chapel.

Depends on how our relationship is now (Are we still friends? Do we talk?) and if it made FH uncomfortable or not. 

Post # 5
Member
2126 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

SnowInApril:  I would go. Everyone seems supportive, and if he doesn’t make it, you won’t want to regret that you didn’t get to say goodbye. So sorry.

Post # 6
Member
7075 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

If it’s with a group of people and your DH is okay with it, sure I’d go.

Post # 7
Member
2364 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

SnowInApril:  Wow, that is a terrible story I’m so sorry.  

It depends on your relationship with said ex, and I’m guessing if his brother called to tell you it isn’t tumultuous.  I know my ex’s family wouldn’t even think to contact me in a situation like this, b/c it ended very, very badly.  

As long as you’re not going alone, I would definitely go.  

Post # 8
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I would go.  I think I would regret it in the future if I didn’t.

Post # 9
Member
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

My ex-husband cheated on me ending our marraige.  But if he were dying I would go and say goodbye.  Especially if his family asked for it.  I think you should go.

Post # 10
Member
9529 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

In this situation, I’d probably go. Especially since it’s with a group and your husband is being supportive. Feelings and relationships don’t just die because people break up. It’s likely it would be rough on you (and all your friends0 if he passes and I think this could give some closure. Or it may make you feel good about being a supportive friend (to him and your other friends) if he gets better. 

Post # 11
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I agree. I would go so I would not ever regret not going. 

Post # 12
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

SnowInApril:  Nope.  He’s an ex and what good will it do for you to see him like that?  It’s not going to make him better and even if he does recover it doesn’t mean you’re getting back together.  Personally I don’t even understand why his brother would call you and ask you to visit him at the hospital.  It’s weird.

But if you want to go for your own personal reasons (whatever those might be) then by all means go.

Post # 13
Member
397 posts
Helper bee

beachbride1216:  +1. I guess I am in the minority that I would not go see this person. I would certainly send my condolences should something take a turn for the worst. However, if you no longer have any feelings for one another, I’m not sure how it benefits anyone by your being there. Then again, I realize every relationship/circumstance is different. So, I would do whatever feels right and appropriate to you, OP. 

Post # 14
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

SnowInApril:  it’s great that your husband supports you, but all i heard was what he would do. It really doesn’t matter what we would do. If you feel like you might regret later on if you didn’t go, do it. If you feel like you don’t want to, don’t. 

 

If youre torn, I’d go. After all there’s not much to be lost in going, but you might regret not having gone when it’s too late. And you won’t be alone so that’s a great opportunity. 

Post # 15
Member
1884 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

 

SnowInApril:  For a routine hospital visit, I wouldn’t go. But I would go if his condition is as bad as it sounds, especially since his family is asking. Even though things didn’t work out, you loved one another once, and you may regret it if the worst happens and you don’t have a chance to say goodbye.

 

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