Would you visit your dad if

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
929 posts
Busy bee

@tmsing:  if his father is the only one that is nice to him, I think your husband needs to go visit him. Despite his fears of who may bin taking advantage of his dad, if he doesn’t go to visit his dad before he passes, he will regret it for the rest of his life. I completely understand its hard to let go of things you were exposed to as a kid, I was also abused, but he’s no longer a kid. He’s a grown up who can fend for himself and right now, his dad needs him to fend for him too. Or at least be shown that someone loves him and cares. I’m sorry your husband and you ar going through this by the way. I hope it works out the best way it possibly can. 

Post # 4
7055 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@tmsing:  Yes he should visit. And if it is a dangerous situation, maybe he can do something to help his dad. Seeing a seriously sick relative or friend is always tough, but I’ve always been glad I’ve done it.

Post # 5
2132 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Maybe you could go with him, not all the way to his dad’s house, but at least be waiting at the hotel for emotional support after he sees him. That’s what I would want if I were going.

Post # 6
6958 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@tmsing:  It is going to be very hard, but I would absolutly go if I were him. I think he would really regret it if something happened to his dad and he hadn’t visited. 

I also think @MabelleBliss makes a very good suggestion. You can go on the trip to be an emotional support but don’t need to actually go to his dad’s with him. 

Post # 7
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think you should definitely encourage your husband to go and visit his father, and soon. Does your husband know how much time your FIL has left or if the situation looks grim? I know he must be terrified about what he’ll find but he will regret it for the rest of his life if he doesn’t visit his father before he passes. I think you should go with him on the trip but stay behind when he visits his father if he wants to do that alone. If your husband does see some things that cause him pain it will be better if he has you there as a support system than if he’s completey alone. 

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