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Um, this is going to sound shallow, but probably not.
I mean, if he bought it for me and was really excited about it, I'd probably try to convince myself that I liked it. But there's a reason I told him explicitly (pictures included) what I liked, and approved each step of the ring!
Luckily he understands me well enough to know that I am picky and this is important.
Definitely not. I told my FH before we got engaged that if he got me a ring I didn't like (read: a ring I didn't pick out). I wouldn't be very happy and we would be returning it. Since he didn't have much of an opinion either way, (he really wanted a single solitaire), I picked out the ring. He surprised me by the engagement, and the ring (which we bought online, so I had never seen) was even more gorgeous in person. So glad we went this route!
@otb - I've only seen pictures of mine, too. So you feel that made it more special for you? I was a little worried about not having the surprise moment.
It depends on if I gave him some guidelines. If I gave my FI some guidelines and he totally disregarded them and got the ring HE wanted me to have opposed to something I like DELIBERATELY then hell to the no...I would not wear it.
However, since I don't wear rings...if I didn't give my FI any guidelines and he was making a guess based on what he thought I might like in a ring then I would TRY to learn to love it...but if I didn't, I would find a way to politely ask for something else.
I am not a fan of solitaires or any round shaped diamonds...so my FI used to joke that he would get me a round solitaire =) Of course he didn't but had he followed through he already knew that I was trading it in.
i think i'd wear it, even if i didn't love it. i'm more of a sentimental person. i actually had the option of changing the setting of my ring, it was passed down from his family and his mom said if i didn't like it i could change it. luckily i love it so it doesn't matter anyway, but even if i didn't i wouldn't have the heart, especially because i wouldn't want to change his families ring. i know my least favorite ring would be anything modern. but again, if that's what he gave me, that's what i'd take. my mom has a ring that she's going to pass down to me that's modern. i'm not excited about it, but it's my mom's, and it's a diamond, so i'm not going to complain.
I'm lucky that I do love my ring, but I would probably wear whatever ring my husband gave me. For me, it's the thought that counts. ;)
I had this discussion with my bf and he was like if you say you don't like it then I would say never mind on the proposal. I guess he feels it's bit shallow. He would want me to wear it, but bring it up in private that I would like to exchange it if possible. Luckily, he knows my taste and has bought me jewlery in the past, which I love. So I hope not to have a problem when he proposes.
@lilyfaith - I was happy that I got to choose something I know that I will love. And because it turned out to be so gorgeous in person. Also the engagement was the big surprise. My FH doesn't know this (I feel terrible, but I HATE surprised), but I had been stalking his email to see when the ring would ship. And when it didn't get shipped on the day he had planned to propose (still didn't know how he was going to propose), I put in the tracking number and it was supposed to come the day after. So when he proposed on the original day (in the cutest way possible!) it was a huge surprise, because I was expecting the ring to come a day later. What actually came a day later was the certificate and everything, that's what I had tracked, haha. So long story short, yeah even though I had seen the ring online already I was still surprised, and excited. Just to hear those words coming out his mouth and seeing him kneeling there all smiling and excited was enough for me.
Ha, my husband said he'd break up with me if I didn't like the ring and wanted to exchange it! lol. I think he was kinda kidding--he felt I should just be grateful with whatever he popped the question with. Like I should be grateful he was even proposin to me, lol.
Shoot, he should be grateful I would say YES 
It would read all over my face if I didn't like it. I have one of those faces - impossible to conceal emotion and FI knows immediately when something's up. Luckily he also knows me well enough to know that I would want to pick it out. Our situation was a bit different since we were using an heirloom stone from my great grandmother's ring, so I was involved in the ring situation already.
@otb - haha, that's great! At least you were still surprised.
I was the same way, absolutely needed to pick it out. And I was picky at every stage, down to asking for a smaller band even though the one I wanted was in stock, just in a little thicker diameter.
So I'm waiting for the official proposal moment, and I just want to make sure that the surprise won't all be gone - because let's face it, as a kid I totally peeked at Christmas gifts, and that always ruined it!
@ejs - hmph, you should have told him you'd think about it. ;)
I think its important that a bride is happy with her e-ring because its a piece that will be worn a lot. If I hated my ring, I wouldn't wear it.
I'm getting a new e-ring because I wasn't in love with my original. My FI wanted to get me a solitaire, I wanted a split shank band... and he was right! The second I put on my e-ring I longed for a solitaire & the band got sooo sooo filthy.
It took me 8 months to tell him though. He laughed & said this is the only time he's going to change my e-ring. I also had to say "You were right" about 1000 times... lol
We talked about it at one point because my best friend had gotten engaged and she said if she didn't like the ring she'd wear it anyway. FI (who was then soon-to-be-FI) said that he wouldn't want me to wear a ring I didn't love and he wouldn't mind if I wanted to change the ring. Thankfully that wasn't an issue but all I said to him about the ring was that I preferred: white gold and no stone with right angles (no princess or emerald cut and also nothing pointy like marquis or pear)
I wasn't concerned about the stones as much as the band - I wondered if it would be too thin or too thick but thankfully it's perfect for my little snausage fingers! :0)
I think it depends -- for me, no, I would not. My husband knew me well enough to know I did not want a diamond. So, we picked it out together.
If he gave me a ring I didn't like, I think it would be a bigger sign of him wanting to do things for me, instead of with me. I know for other girls, they want a surprise, so for them the ring means something else.
Hmm, interesting topic. I honestly don't know if I would wear it or not. I pretty much had complete control over the ring process (other than the timeline of course!) because my FI wouldn't have it any other way. He wasn't comfortable at all picking out something I would like (although he had no trouble vetoing the ones he didn't like!) So I really can't even picturing getting a ring I didn't know about or liked.
I'm not crazy about mine-I don't hate it, but I don't like it. I mean, it's MY ring so it's one of those oh I love it, but I don't like it. I wear it every day. He know's I don't like it too.
I guess it's my fault-I knew it was coming but didn't send him any thing that I would like & he went on his own b/c if I went with him I would know that he was proposing on a certain day.
He said we could take it back, but I don't want him to feel like his choice wasn't good enough. I also didn't wanna be like his bro's wife. When his brother gave her the ring I guess they returned it b/c she didn't like it. (She then has not really ever wanted to be around & they moved to Canada & she never wants to visit.-haha whole other story!)
So pretty much yeah I would wear one I didn't like b/c I am!
My FI (now husband) wouldn't want me to wear a ring that I hated. He just wants me to be happy, and it's not an ego thing with him.
I'm more about the sentimentality of the ring over the design or look of the ring. I didn't LOVE my ring when I first saw it, but I wore it anyway, and now I'm pretty attached to it. :)
The engagement was all a surprise to me, so I'm really not one to talk about "hey I gave him pictures..". MY ring is a simple solitaire. I've come to love it simplicity and we are having it reset (same setting but with bling bling on the band) which will jazz it up a bit. Honestly, he knew flashy/major halo/different colored stones/sidestones were not my thing and I think he did a good job.
Now if it was set in gold...we'd have to talk.
Yeah, I have to agree with Miss Sapphire. My ring is white gold...but if it were gold gold...I WOULDN'T WEAR IT! All I wear is white gold or silver, and if the FI was dumb enough to get me something I obviously DON'T wear, well, ..........
And going off of that, I once saw a REALLY hideous...spiky looking ring. It was CAKED in diamonds, but I had probably ten nightmares that FI took my vintage inspired ring back and got me that monstrous dagger of a ring...EEK!
We had this discussion before we got engaged. He originally wanted to pick something by himself, and while he does have good taste in jewelry, everything he likes and has bought me in the past was super modern and minimal. That's fine for regular jewelry, but I'd had my heart set on a vintage estate ring for years, for both moral and superficial reasons.
I told him I wanted to make sure I would adore my ring since I'd be wearing it forever, and I asked him how he would feel if I didn't like it. We agreed to look at vintage rings online together, and visited a few antique shops. He hated most of them, but he actually really liked the one I ended up with, which was conveniently my favorite, too. I gave him about 8-10 rings to choose from online, and just said "pick one."
PS- He also liked that estate diamond jewelry is about a 1/3 of the price of new jewelry, haha
I would probably wear it, but my hate for the ring would come out later, because I just can't hold it in.
Over the years FI has learned about my taste in jewlery, there were a few necklaces he bought me that I would never pick for myself. He got the message after I would say thanks & wear it for one day and never put it on again :)
Thank goodness I LOVE LOVE my rings b/c I would hate to have to tell him I hated something.
My FI bought me the ugliest Tory Burch tote bag for my birthday two years ago (tacky, gaudy, way too big for me) and to this day he still has no idea that I don't like it. I wear it with pride, because he lovingly picked it out for me and put a lot of thought into it. The bag represents a sweet, loving, thoughtful gesture made by the most wonderful man I've ever met.
An engagement ring is different. You have to wear it for the rest of your life. I would definitely pretend like I liked it at first not to ruin the moment and wear it for a few weeks before I would insist on changing the setting or exchanging it for a different ring. I would be honest and tell him it really wasn't my taste, but thank him up and down for putting so much effort into it. I'm sure he'd be upset at first understandably, but would ultimately want me to be happy.
I think it would have to be pretty darn ugly for me to hate it. That being said, if I did really, really loathe it, I'd just tell him it's not my style and ask to exchange it. If he said no, I supposed I'd wear it anyway, but my FI wouldn't want me to wear something I didn't love in the first place...he's sweet like that :)
Nope. I couldn't wear something that I really, really hated. I'd return it and pick out a new ring, with my FH though, because I'd want him to like the new one as well.
Good think FH has really great taste. :-)
If he opened the box and I didnt like what I saw I would cry.
I know it sounds REALLY shallow but I want to be able to be proud of my ring.
After that i would upgrade the ring to something that I loved and tell him about it later.
Hmmmmm M has said that if I don't like what he gets I can return it. He has definitely seen pictures of what I like anddoesnt like what I don't. I am concerned that he will choose a ring with no diamonds on the band and if this happens I will just pick a wedding band with diamonds.with all that being said I suppose I would keep it and jazz it up with bands.. That's only if it is something similar to what he and I have been picking out together. I trust his choice and am glad I was able to give him a bit of guidance
No. I don't wear a lot of jewelry anyway, and I wouldn't wear something I *hate*. (Admittedly, it'd have to be a pretty bad ring before I hated it!) It wouldn't change how I feel about the guy, but he'd have to accept that if he didn't let me pick my ring, I might not be inclined to wear it everyday. ;)
I like a variety of ring types and would try to convince myself to like it. I used to hate yellow gold & marquise, but I'm growing to like them & pear shapes more. Mine is round w/ palladium and side diamonds, and I was fairly involved. Sure mine is plain, but I wanted something l'd love (even more) forever.
I just read @mary-alice-me's comment... I agree 100%. Surprise wasn't one of those things we were going for. ;)
I would wear anything that he picked out.. because if he honestly liked it, bought it and really thought that I was going to like it .. I would wear it. I would be greatful for what I got.. Some people cant afford a ring at all who are the most in love.. I try not to be a spoiled brat all the time!! Who cares what everyone else thinks.. its not for show.. there is a reason and meaning its on that finger.
I'll just put this out there: theoretically you wear it for the rest of your life... in actuality, maybe not. Several of my friends don't regularly wear their e-rings because they snag on sweaters and gloves, etc. They all wear their wedding bands though!
Its funny that this comes up because Fi asked me last night, "What if I got you a marquis cut with baguettes on the side?" My answer..."NO WAY!" He knows thats not my taste, but I don't think he would've done it anyway! So I'm glad I have a man with good taste and one who is very picky!!
In general, I think women should love their rings, however I would wear a ring I hated. The Boy has already said that he would unpropose to a woman if she didn't like the ring he gave her because that's completely superficial. I know that the Boy would be deeply hurt if I didn't wear the ring, so I would.
On the flipside, I would hope he knows me (and my style) enough to avoid something I would hate to wear. My XH always used to get me gifts that I hated and I would be like, "it's like he doesn't know me at all."
At this point, I want a proposal so much that I'd even take an ugly ring! ha ha...
This actually happened to me. It is not an ugly ring...it is just not what I wanted at all. I put it on and I wear it, and when I tried a few weeks later to explain that maybe I would like something different and we could exchange it or have it made into a necklace or earrings or something he got REALLY upset. He had put a lot of time and effort and thought into the one he chose and it really hurt his feelings even though I tried to be nice about it. So, I wear it. Every day. It is not my style but it has grown on me and it reminds me of him, and that is what really matters.
@jingle-that's exactly what I got!! :) I'm not the most crazy about it, but he's proud of doing it on his own & even though it's not exactly "my style" of ring-honestly, I don't really wear much jewelry-I'm really attached to it. I freaked out when I thought I lost it after we were painting at some person's house!
Heck no. In fact, I insisted that we go out and pick out the engagement ring together so that we got something that we both liked. Who wants to wear something for their entire life that they don't like?
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Beekeeper
Referring back to Miss Apple's post about if the ring is a dealbreaker or not, got me thinking.
Would you wear an e-ring your FI got you if you really disliked it? As in hated it?
For me, this is an obvious answer. HELL NO. I am SO picky. I don't settle for stuff I kind of like...i want to looooooove it. If he got me something fugly or not my taste, I'd immediately go, "honey...." and I don't think my face could lie for me, even if i wanted it to! After the novelty and excitement of being engaged wears off, I wouldn't want to be left with something I disliked. In the end, I think it'd eat me up that I was "stuck with" the ring forever and I really didn't like wearing it.
I know it's not about the ring, it's about the guy....but what if you really didn't like it?! Imagine the worst possible ring your FI could have gotten you! What would you do?! Or, more importantly....what does it look like? lol
I used to have nightmares about round solitaires in yellow gold settings, haha....it is so not my style!