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Another question for your SO/FI/DH!

Would you wear someone else's ring?

posted 5 months ago in Rings
  • 1 Members Subscribed To Topic
  • poll: Would you wear someone else's ring?
    Yes, in any case, as long as my SO selected it for me out of love (could include ex, pawn shop) : (45 votes)
    28 %
    Yes, but only if it was a family heirloom (could include grandmother's ring, late sister) : (81 votes)
    51 %
    Middle of the road -- I would be okay with a "used" stone but want my own setting that reflects me : (25 votes)
    16 %
    No way, Jose! : (9 votes)
    6 %
  •  
    1.
    Member
    202 posts
    Helper bee
    canadianbacon    September 24, 2011   Philadelphia, PA

    Simple question. I have my own thoughts on this topic, which came up in friendly conversation with my girlfriends. Opinions were all across the board which was very interesting. So, like any other great question, I thought I would take it to the Internets! ;)

    Leave a little comment and tell us what you picked.

     
    2.
    Member
    1,178 posts
    Bumble bee
    MsNarwhal    July 14, 2012   Greater LA area

    @canadianbacon:

    I chose the first one..because I dont believe that a stone/metal can really be "used"..its not like you are the first person to ever touch/put on your ring even when you buy it new a store so I dont see much of a difference.

     
    3.
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    2,330 posts
    Buzzing bee
    secondchances    August 2012   Western MD

    As I am obsessed with vintage things I would love a "used" ring. I wouldn't be okay with him recycling an ex's ring though.

     
    4.
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    982 posts
    Busy bee
    Lemma    June 9, 2012   Ontario

    I would have picked the first option if it didn't include an ex's ring. How could it be selected out of love for me if he picked it for somebody else first?

     
    5.
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    1,178 posts
    Bumble bee
    MsNarwhal    July 14, 2012   Greater LA area

    @secondchances:

    Good point, I would not want a ring that he picked out for his ex..thats the only exception.

     
    6.
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    10,665 posts
    Sugar
    Beekeeper
    tksjewelry    June 25, 2011   Omaha

    I wouldn't care anything about where it came from or who, as long as it was given out of love.

    Edit:  I wouldn't even care if it were the ex's, I know where his heart if now.

     
    7.
    Member
    248 posts
    Helper bee
    BonbonBunny    February 14, 2012  

    I'm a little superstitious.  ;)  I would not want the ring of someone I do not like or of a dead person who had a terrible marriage.  I'm not sure I'd want an ex's ring either because it would remind me of the past relationship.  I know it's ridiculous...

    Of course it depends how nice the ring is.  I'm pretty sure I could get over it. 

     
    8.
    Member
    5,969 posts
    Bee Keeper
    AmeliaBedelia    March 3, 2012   Georgia

    The only reason I didn't vote for the first was the "ex" part. The pawn shop part I wouldn't have a true problem with. The ring is what you make it, as far as feelings, association, etc.

     
    9.
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    1,974 posts
    Buzzing bee
    burris4    December 16, 2004   Illinois

    I would be fine with a "used" stone as long as it had never belonged to SOs ex.

     
    10.
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    1,597 posts
    Bumble bee
    accorn    June 9, 2012   Texas/Louisiana

    I would be okay with anything except for an ex's ring.  That seems weird and obviously he didn't choose it for me.

     
    11.
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    843 posts
    Busy bee
    itshouldsnow    June 2012  

    I wouldn't be okay with a ring that belonged to an ex, but my ring is a family heirloom and I love it! It was FI's grandmother's and has over 50 years of happy marriage already. :)

     
    12.
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    735 posts
    Busy bee
    ItsHollyAgain    May 26, 2013   Cleveland, Ohio

    I don't think that there are really "used" stones, and it would not bother me if the stone had originally belonged to someone else. I toyed with the idea of asking my mom for a ring that was my grandmother's (it's a gorgeous ring - really one of the most beautiful rings I've ever seen and I know someday she wants me to have it; it's a canary diamond in rose gold, and I don't normally like rose gold!). However, I felt unsure about if I would want to keep that setting and I prefered to have a new setting - and felt awful about getting rid of the setting. I will say that teh diamond in my engagement ring is "used" but we got a new setting. I wanted a setting that was very "me" and that I would love wearing every day.

     
    13.
    Member
    871 posts
    Busy bee
    QBbride    September 2, 2012   North Vancouver, BC

    I would definetly not be happy if it was originally intended for an ex!

     
    14.
    Member
    7,271 posts
    Busy
    Beekeeper
    Mrs.Estep    December 11, 2010   VA

    I wouldn't mind if my ring had came from a pawn shop or not. But if it was an ex's I would have. Even though my husband & I have been together 5 years this month so his last ex was when he was 17. LOL I still wouldn't like it. 

     

     
    15.
    Member
    106 posts
    Blushing bee
    ElwoodBlues    June 2, 2012   Portland (Wedding in Iowa)

    My ring is from a vintage store and I love it! I don't think one for an ex would be ok though. 

     
    16.
    Member
    551 posts
    Busy bee
    Ms Bookworm    November 3, 2012   Minneapolis, MN

    I agree with others in that "ex" shouldn't be included with "pawn shop."  No way would I want a ring that was originally intended for a past SO, but I would be okay with a ring from a pawn shop...  Though TBH, if going the pre-owned route, I would prefer if it were an antique ring from a jeweler or estate sale (or something similar), and I could know the history behind the ring...  I wouldn't ordinarily consider myself "superstitious," but when it comes to my engagement/wedding rings I don't want any bad juju. Wink

     
    17.
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    2,319 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Coffee cup    December 7, 2012   Sonora, Mexico

    I would take anything other than an ex's ring.

     
    18.
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    3,861 posts
    Honey bee
    kala_way    May 28, 2011   Manhattan Beach, CA

    I agree with some of the others. I'd be fine with an antique, a family ring, a pawnshop ring, pretty much anything, but I defintely wouldn't want something that was originally meant for an ex-girlfriend--that's a little weird.

     
    19.
    Member
    2,844 posts
    Sugar bee
    mrscheetos    June 10, 2012  

    It really depends on who that someone else is.. 

    But in general, though I do love vintage accessories, I wouldn't want a "used" e-ring. 

     
    20.
    Member
    1,541 posts
    Bumble bee
    Eight6Eleven    August 6, 2011   Pittsburgh

    Yeah, an ex's ring would be the only one I wouldn't be ok with. An old friend of mine from college kept an e-ring that his ex gave back to him in hopes of "repurposing" it on another girl in the future. I had to talk him out of it.

     
    21.
    Member
    735 posts
    Busy bee
    ItsHollyAgain    May 26, 2013   Cleveland, Ohio

    Read other replies and have to chime in that I would so not be okay with an ex's ring. I know what my partner's ex wife's ring was like and mine is nothing at all like hers - not b/c I wanted it different but more b/c it was not my style. If he had it for any reason, I would not want it. I also wouldn't want it around, but that's just my jealous streak speaking and I don't think she was a good person to him.

     
    22.
    Member
    8,467 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    KatyElle      

    Yes, if it was an antique, heirloom or estate ring. I don't really buy into the whole "it might have bad juju" thing. I would not want a ring that was intended for an ex fiance, or his ex wife's wedding set or anything, but no problem with pawn shops or other pre owned jewelry. Makes a lot more sense than buying new (to me).

     
    23.
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    Member
    49 posts
    Newbee
    WaitingBeee      

    i'm fine with him finding one from a pawn shop/craigslist. I would not want to know the historyif it's negative. (like, we called off the engagement, wife was cheating on me so we got divorced, etc...) and i would not accept the same ring/stone from an ex. i believe that would be bad ju ju. buuuut if he were like "i found this on craigslist, the owner upgraded her ring and was selling this one" then i'd happily be ok with that!

     
    24.
    Member
    202 posts
    Helper bee
    canadianbacon    September 24, 2011   Philadelphia, PA

    Why is a pawn shop ring okay but a ring meant for an ex is not? If it was not given to the ex, what's the difference? If the idea here is that you're okay with getting the ring under any circumstances provided it is given to you out of love for all the right reasons, then why would it matter if it was initially selected for someone else compared to pawned at a seedy shop after it was ripped off someone's hand in an alley during a drug deal shooting gone wrong?

    Extreme scenario but you get the point.

    For what it's worth, my ring is new. So I'm not trying to defend the scenario where the ring was initially purchased for an ex. Just asking. I like all the opinions here.

     
    25.
    Member
    2,005 posts
    Buzzing bee
    claireos    September 8, 2012   Maryland

    @canadianbacon: For me it's because the ex's ring was bought with the ex and her tastes in mind. It's a relic of their broken relationship. The ring from the pawn shop wasn't a relic of their past relationship. And it didn't necessarily wind up their because of a broken relationship. I am totally cool with estate or heirloom rings because the history is a mystery. They could have simply wanted to upgrade. They could have died, happily married. But I can think what I want. That's just me though. :)

     
    26.
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    1,530 posts
    Bumble bee
    kerensa    May 20, 2013   Ohio

    I prefer having my own ring, not one that belonged to someone else.

    At the time we got engaged, we had somewhat of a rocky relationship with his family and my family too. So I'm glad I got my own ring, not one that belonged to someone else.

     
    27.
    Member
    656 posts
    Busy bee
    rubyroad10    November 2012  

    Mine is my deceased grandmother's. I love it. And my grandpa and mom love that my FI was sensitive enough to incorporate my past into our future :)

     
    28.
    Member
    3,504 posts
    Sugar bee
    Ms Hedgehog    July 10, 2011   Dallas/ Ft Worth TX

    My stone is a "used" heirloom but my setting is my own that very much reflects me. I also wouldn't care where my ring came from as long as it was picked out for ME with serious thought and love put into it.

     
    29.
    Member
    404 posts
    Helper bee
    Lexy    January 15, 2012  

    Like @rubyroad10:  I have my grandmother's ring. Not only am I okay with it but it is the only ring I would even entertain wearing. (ETA) Here's a picture I took earlier today, for reference.

    Would you wear someone else's ring? :  wedding ring used ring heirloom ring Ring

    However it does have "bad juju" or whatever. My grandma and grandpa got divorced before I was born, but my grandmother had her e-ring & 25th anniversary band remade into a sort of "right-hand ring" that she wore until the day she died. As soon as I inherited it I knew I wanted to be proposed to with it and told my love who just 4.5 years later did exactly that.

    I understand the desire to have your own ring, but for me having something with familial significance is much more meaningful.

     
    30.
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    905 posts
    Busy bee
    Ms.GoodEarth    May 25, 2013   Los Angeles, CA

    My ring is an antique, so it's safe to assume that possibly many women have worn it before!  It's from the 1920s, and I absolutely adore it.  To me, it doesn't matter where the ring came from, as long as it's beautiful!  I was going to say, as long as he picked it our for me... but I picked it out.... I dunno about an ex's ring though.  That would be weird.

     
    31.
    Member
    5,679 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Lindsay12.31.2010    December 31, 2010   Missouri

    Like some of the other posters, I would be fine with a ring that was vintage, antique, etc.  But I wouldn't be okay with a ring that was intended for an ex.

     
    32.
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    8,199 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    HappilyEverAfter54    June 23, 2012   Central Pennsylvania

    I'd be happy with a used ring but not if it was his ex wifes. I'm all down for pawn shop rings though! We ended up buying a new ring but if we would have found something pretty used I would have been more than happy to wear it.

     
    33.
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    288 posts
    Helper bee
    SuzySchmoozy    July 4, 2013   New Hampshire

    I am proud of my pawn shop ring :-)

     
    34.
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    177 posts
    Blushing bee
    sconzzy    December 29, 2011  

    My ring was bought second hand but not worn, so maybe she said no or he never got round to proposing, I dont know, I dont care, I love my ring.

    I would not want a family ring, to me thats cheating, he should at least spend something, I dont care how little he can afford, Id rather have my second hand 0.2ct diamond than a 1ct he got for free from a relative because I think thats just lazy and cheap. I have my grandmothers e ring (wear on right hand sometimes) and although its worth more than my e ring, its not mine, its hers and its my memory of her not a symbol of my relationship with my FI.

    But thats just my opinion. Oh and same goes for ex's ring, he should show more care and buy something just for you.

     
    35.
    Member
    928 posts
    Busy bee
    strawbabies    December 19, 2011   wedding in St. Augustine, FL

    The only "used" ring I would've been ok with was my mother's, but my sister snatched that up before Mom even died.  And my parents' marriage sucked anyway.

    FI and I picked out my ring at a jewelry store, and it's totally "me."

     
    36.
    Member
    643 posts
    Busy bee
    lisha_1988    November 3, 2012   Perth, Australia

    I picked the heirloom one, just because I have worked in a pawn show before and Ive heard some of the stories people would blurt out while selling the ring to us. And I dont think i could have a ring from there knowing some of the things that could have happened....

     
    37.
    589 posts
    Busy bee
    Vintage-me    August 11, 2012   England

    yes anything would be fine by me.......unless it was his ex-wife's  ring!  LOL

     

     
    38.
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    2,098 posts
    Buzzing bee
    MrsRuby    June 2011  

    As long as its not an EXs ring. Id wear it! I love heirlooms etc.

     
    39.
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    2,472 posts
    Buzzing bee
    o0olibelulao0o    April 14, 2012   Texas Hill Country

    I chose the second one just because I would not want it to be an ex's ring... FI was married before and he still had her wedding/engagement rings, he knew that giving me those rings would be a big "no no", I feel that just has bad mo-jo.  But he did use her engagement ring to help pay for some of my ring so my ring is technically the "upgrade" of that ring which is fine with me. :)

     

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