Post # 1
I have a good guy friend who is really upset that his finance (they are actually already legally married but are not presenting themselves as a married couple until their big wedding in the fall) refuses to wear her engagement ring while bar tending. I am not sure about her reasoning. For context, bar is a “clubby” kind of place. The bartenders are exclusively pretty girls, and they are usually in shorts/cropped top/heels kind of outfits.
He is looking for some honest opinions of people who don’t know him, and I figured, who better to ask than the ladies of the Bee! What do you think?
Post # 3
Honestly, she probably flirts with the guys she is serving drinks to and probably gets better tips that way. They may see her “differently” if she is wearing the ring and her tips might suffer.
As long as he trusts her 100%, then there should be no problem.
Post # 4
also, if its pretty flashy she may not be comfortable waving it around especially if she leaves alone super late and someone may want to snatch it from her.
Post # 5
I see why he’s upset, but my Fiance used to bartend. I’m pretty sure he flirted and he got better tips from it. It bothered me at first, but I realized that was just part of the gig.
I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t wear his ring once we are married if he was still bartending. I wouldn’t mind – but I know that I’m the one he wants to come home too. And it helps us out when he gets more tip money
Post # 6
Yeah, I agree with the others on this one.
Post # 7
I used to bartend… and one of my coworkers used to remove hers, not because she wanted to flirt, but because your hands get SUPER sticky from all the booze, pop, and juice that gets all over them all night. It’s much easier to take it off than to have to clean it all the time!
Post # 8
my Fiance occasionally bartends/bounces and there is a lot of physical stuff that goes along with that where if it was ME doing it, i could see not wanting to get the ring in the mix. just getting booze spilled on it all the time would be deterrent enough, nevermind having to restock bottles etc.
i am sure that isnt her reasoning, since as PPs said, that kind of a place the girls make big tips on the possibility they are interested in guys… i probably wouldnt do this, since it made me feel icky inside even typing it, but if i was a girl to do this, my Fiance would have nothing to worry about!
Post # 9
@dcgirl655: she thinks that showing she isnt a single girl is going to interfere with her tips, which are probably coaxed by excessive flirting. I doubt this behavior will stop after the big wedding–she certainly won’t wear a wedding ring if she won’t wear an engagement ring.
Post # 10
@raspberry bride: i agree, working with your hands with drinks and fruit and glass everywhere is not the best situation for a cherished engagement ring. she’s being practical and treating her ring with care.
Post # 11
@amandasf: This exactly.
i can understand his hurt but it’s strictly business.
Post # 12
@dcgirl655: I used to bartend, and agree with everything PP’s have said. Yes, you get better tips when you flirt and also you spill all over it and knock your beautiful ring on things all the time.
If it ever bothered Fiance, then I would’ve worn it. But it didn’t really and was happy that I made as much money as I did while working. If your friends have a solid, honest relationship, then I wouldn’t see it a problem. But if it bothers him, he should tell her.
Post # 14
Aside from the tips issue, there can be safety issues too. A girl caught her ring on a dishrack at a restaurant I used to work at and not only did it bend her ring, but it sliced a nasty hole into her finger! You can lose a finger that way… some places disallow jewelry along with nailpolish, bare toes etc…
Post # 15
She may get better tips. I think she should prove it to him if that is the case. One week, wear the ring, then one week don’t…and see what she racks in. If this is the reason.
Post # 16
i bartended for many years and it’s true, guys tip more when the girls ‘appear single’ but also, depending on the ring, it could get in the way and become damaged. my ex didn’t care if i wore my ring or not. he completely trusted me. i usually wore my ring anyways; it didn’t sit up too high on my finger.