Post # 1
I’m currently living with my FH and his parents in their house. We had a LDR before (him in Spain, me in Germany) and after some long and hard thinking we decided it would be the best if I moved to Spain and we’d stay with his parents for a couple of months to save money and then move out as soon as possible.
I’ve met them before and “vacationed” there a couple of times, but it’s definetely not them same living together day after day after day. I was a very independent person and lived on my own for years even though I’m only 21 and moving in with parents again feels so weird. Suddenly, they treat me as more of a child than my parents ever did. His mother is a neat freak and there is nothing close to privacy in this house. Incidents like her wanting to clean our room and going through our things happen on a weekly basis and I feel very uncomfortable with that.. it’s not that I have anything to hide, I just don’t want people going through my stuff. Is this just the only child in me coming out?
Also, I feel judged whatever I do, especially financially. FMIL is very frugal and just buying some moisturizer gets me a “I think you’re spending too much money.” Come on, it was 10€ at the drugstore and I need to get a new tube about every 3 months, not every week. Whenever she gets me alone she tells me I should do this, not do that, and not tell her son about it! FH can take half a look at me and immediately knows when I’m upset, so I can never hide anything from him, but I don’t want to make him feel bad about his mom either..
How do you get along with your in-laws? Is living with them always kind of bad, or am I blowing this out of proportion?
Post # 3
@maymorganite: No, it sucks. My FIL’s are annoying…we both bounce between my house and his to save money for a home but seriously, I cant stand being over there. They are so loud/argumentative when they get into eachother I run upstairs to my FI’s room.
Post # 4
I think we could live with MY parents because they are much less insane than his. FMIL is great, but FFIL has a temperment that would make Mother Teresa cuss. We would self distruct I think if FI had to live in the same house as his dad again.
Post # 5
@MsNarwhal: ugh, I know what you’re talking about! I hate when they fight, it makes me feel so uncomfortable!
@chasesgirl: I think we could live with my mom too, but I don’t know how he would think about that 😀 I’m glad you don’t have to live with them!
Post # 6
I would never. Visiting for a week is almost more than I can handle.
Post # 7
We lived with FH’s parents for about two months while the builder was finishing our house. It wasn’t bad for a short time and his mom is a FABULOUS cook so that was a real bonus!
Post # 8
We’ll have to. What am I gonna do? Dump them in an adult daycare? Umm no.
Edit there are 2 types of “living with in-laws” what you’re discussing is “moving back home… with the in laws”
What us older folk (albeit only 27) I’m talking about our parents are now looking at their kids (us) to take care of them. Physically, emotionally and financially. Essentially they’re moving into their kids’ place.
Post # 9
I lived with my MIL for over a year while DH was deployed when we first got married. I love her though and since we worked opposite shifts we didnt see each other much so I think it was more tolerable to deal with lol 🙂
I would do it again in a heartbeat if I had to!
Post # 10
I voted “it’s great for a limited time”. I love my future in-laws, and they’re always offering their nice finished basement or guest room upstairs to us if need be. I’ve stayed at their house a couple of times and gone on little weekend camping trips. So I haven’t stayed with them for a long time per se, but I think I could make it work for maybe a couple of months if we had to!
Post # 11
I would rather stab myself in the eye repeatedly with a dull knife then ever in a gazillion years live with my future inlaws. I’m pretty sue FI feels the same way about his parents and mine.
Post # 12
Honesty, i would love to. FI and I have imagined the possibility because of kids and med school coinciding. maybe it wouldn’t be as great as it seems, but I think it would be pretty ok.
Post # 13
I might do this, kind of. But with my FBIL. SO lives on the West coast and I live on the East coast. Sometime between the proposal and the wedding I’ll be moving out there and there is a very good chance that I will stay with them while we figure out more permanent living arrangements (SO and I won’t live together until we’re married)
Post # 14
@WestieGirl: I’m with you, sister. No reason we can’t make it on our own without subjecting ourselves to that nonsense. Some people can do it with no problem, but it’s not for us.
Post # 15
I had to live with my FILs for 3 months WITHOUT FH. He was living with them while we were dating, and when he finished school I ended my lease and moved in (I was spending more time there than I was at my apartment anyway). He got a job almost 4 hours away (in Ottawa) shortly after I moved in and I still had 3 months left of my semester at school, so we got a place in Ottawa and he lived there on his own while I finished school.
Living with just my parents in law would be fine. I get along with them great. Father in law made me dinner almost every night, and he made me feel completely at home and part of the family. It’s FSIL and FBIL that drove me nuts. Music blaring constantly when I was trying to study, teeniboppers screaming and running around upstairs. Ugh… It was awful. But we made it through and now live 4 hours away. Small doses I can handle lol.
Post # 16
I love my in-laws and was happy to stay there. I’m not sure that I have quite the perspective that you are looking for since I have not stayed there for more then 3 months at a time, but I had no issues living there and had plenty of privacy, and yet was made to feel very much a part of the family.
My husband is now going through this as well since we are living with my folks while we build our savings. He gets along with my parents better then I do! lol I know part of it is that we are both truly blessed to have the parents (and in-laws!) that we do.