Post # 1
My facebook has started to fill with weddings and I noticed that one of my male friends did something really interesting with his and his wife’s last name. Instead of Miss Smith becoming Mrs Jones or hyphenating to Mrs, Smith-Jones, they both hyphenated their names so he is now Mr. Smith-Jones and she is Mrs. Smith-Jones. I thought it was a really great way to show that while their families are being joined in their marriage, they are also creating their own unique family.
My FI feels really strongly about me taking his last name in some way because he is the only male in his generation with his last name. I currently plan on hyphenating because I am a scientist who will be publishing a few papers under my maiden name. In my family it is highly unlikely that the few males with the family last name will have children and pass it on, in fact at this rate I will be the only one of my 6 cousins with the family last name to have children at all. I asked FI if he would be willing to hyphenate as well. He has said he will think about it.
Would you want your FI to take your last name? Do you think he would do it?
Post # 3
Nope, I’m pretty traditional – I want to take his last name and he wants me to.
Post # 4
@Eckle: I wouldn’t want to because one of the main reasons I took my husband’s last name is it’s much easier to spell than my maiden name. Hyphenating both of our last names would’ve really defeated the purpose for me.
Post # 5
My FI is really traditional, and so am I (but not QUITE as much) and I dont think either of us would be into that. I like the idea of halving the same last name because it kind of publicly unites you, and if I wasn’t crazy about his last name I MIGHT consider it, but I don’t think FI would like that idea. its just not traditional and that just not him!
Post # 6
I have total respect for women who want to also keep their name, but I’m excited to have my fiance’s last name. I guess I’m a little more traditional in that area.
Post # 7
@Eckle: he’d probably do it if i were adament about it, but our two last names together would be so long, i’d feel terrible for our children having to fill out their scantrons with that last name. 0.0
Post # 8
@Eckle: Nope. I also don’t want to take his. We’re both only children and our family names mean a great deal to us. He never wanted or expected me to take his name, thankfully, so it’s not a point of contention for us. I should note that we’re both academics, as are both of his parents, so he also understands the professional importance of me keeping my name.
One of my bridesmaids and her husband (a groomsman) both hyphenated. It makes them really proud to share their last names and pass it on to their hypothetical kids. He actually seems more into it than she is, when you talk to them.
Post # 9
I think with short, easy names it can work like in your example or the actor Aaron Johnson who became Aaron Taylor-Johnson. FI and my names together would be a mouthful!
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars
Our last names are markedly similar so it would be ridiculous for either of us to do this. If that wasn’t the case, I bet he’d consider it though.
Post # 11
I would really like it in a hypothetical sense, the only reason I wouldn’t ask my FI to do it in reality is his name is really strongly linked to his Acadian culture and I wouldn’t want to make him give that up. It’s enough that’s he’s living in English Canada for me! He might take my name as a middle name though because he doesn’t have a middle name right now.
Post # 12
@Eckle: If I really wanted to do this, I think FI would get on board. He might not be CRAZY about the idea, but if it were important to me, I’m pretty sure he would do it to make me happy–he’s awesome like that.
Of course it doesn’t matter, because A) I want to take his last name anyway, and B) we both have unusual last names, and if they were combined, they would sound extremely vulgar, lol.
Post # 13
If our names were shorts and would work together I would have pushed strongly for this. Unfortunately from a practical point of view, my last name on it’s own is already 10 letters long, both of our names are hard to spell/pronounce, and they don’t sound good together.
I had no desire to take a man’s name and leave mine behind, so I just kept my name. Not sure what we’ll do about kids, but we’ll cross that bride when we get there. Maybe we should leave it up to fate…if our first kid is female they’ll all get my name, if the first one is male they all get his name…
Post # 14
Honestly, I wanted DH to take MY last name instead of me taking his. His family has a HORRIBLE reputation in my city for being real estate tycoon-types that do shady business dealings and have privitized public and city services, making profits for themselves. Not something I want to be associated with. However, he felt so strongly about me having his last name, saying he wanted to bring good to the name that has been tarnished by his family. I doubt that’ll happen, but we’re moving out of the college town we live in to a much bigger city soon, so we won’t be affected by it.
In the end, it was so important to him, I took his name. But I really would have loved him to take mine!
Post # 15
DH offered to take my last name, but I didn’t want him to
So we both kept our names, not sure what we will do about children. On the same note, plenty of my friend’s parents have done this (both hyphenating) and been happily married for 30 years, I think its a great idea.
Post # 16
- Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand
I always thought I would change to my husband’s last name but DH’s last name with my first name sounds very cartoon-ish and being in the legal profession I refused to do it. DH suggested taking my last name as he has no ties to his last name but I was not comfortable with that. As a compromise, we both chose to hyphenate our names but since mine is first a lot of people will refer to us using my last name.