Would your FI do it? would you want him to?

posted 3 years ago in Names
  • poll: Would your FI do it? Would you want him to?
    I would want him to : (52 votes)
    9 %
    I wouldn't want him to : (206 votes)
    34 %
    I don't know if I would want him to : (64 votes)
    11 %
    He would do it : (54 votes)
    9 %
    He wouldn't do it : (170 votes)
    28 %
    He would have to think about it : (63 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1302 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Nope, I’m pretty traditional – I want to take his last name and he wants me to.

    Post # 4
    Member
    8425 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @Eckle:  I wouldn’t want to because one of the main reasons I took my husband’s last name is it’s much easier to spell than my maiden name.  Hyphenating both of our last names would’ve really defeated the purpose for me.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1634 posts
    Bumble bee

    My FI is really traditional, and so am I (but not QUITE as much) and I dont think either of us would be into that. I like the idea of halving the same last name because it kind of publicly unites you, and if I wasn’t crazy about his last name I MIGHT consider it, but I don’t think FI would like that idea. its just not traditional and that just not him!

    Post # 6
    Member
    72 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I have total respect for women who want to also keep their name, but I’m excited to have my fiance’s last name.  I guess I’m a little more traditional in that area.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3199 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @Eckle:  he’d probably do it if i were adament about it, but our two last names together would be so long, i’d feel terrible for our children having to fill out their scantrons with that last name. 0.0

    Post # 8
    Member
    917 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @Eckle:  Nope. I also don’t want to take his. We’re both only children and our family names mean a great deal to us. He never wanted or expected me to take his name, thankfully, so it’s not a point of contention for us. I should note that we’re both academics, as are both of his parents, so he also understands the professional importance of me keeping my name.

    One of my bridesmaids and her husband (a groomsman) both hyphenated. It makes them really proud to share their last names and pass it on to their hypothetical kids. He actually seems more into it than she is, when you talk to them.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2565 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I think with short, easy names it can work like in your example or the actor Aaron Johnson who became Aaron Taylor-Johnson.  FI and my names together would be a mouthful!

    Post # 10
    Member
    1056 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars

    Our last names are markedly similar so it would be ridiculous for either of us to do this.  If that wasn’t the case, I bet he’d consider it though.

    Post # 11
    Member
    511 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I would really like it in a hypothetical sense, the only reason I wouldn’t ask my FI to do it in reality is his name is really strongly linked to his Acadian culture and I wouldn’t want to make him give that up. It’s enough that’s he’s living in English Canada for me! He might take my name as a middle name though because he doesn’t have a middle name right now.

    Post # 12
    Member
    402 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @Eckle:  If I really wanted to do this, I think FI would get on board.  He might not be CRAZY about the idea, but if it were important to me, I’m pretty sure he would do it to make me happy–he’s awesome like that.

    Of course it doesn’t matter, because A) I want to take his last name anyway, and B) we both have unusual last names, and if they were combined, they would sound extremely vulgar, lol.

    Post # 13
    Member
    5199 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    If our names were shorts and would work together I would have pushed strongly for this.  Unfortunately from a practical point of view, my last name on it’s own is already 10 letters long, both of our names are hard to spell/pronounce, and they don’t sound good together.

    I had no desire to take a man’s name and leave mine behind, so I just kept my name.  Not sure what we’ll do about kids, but we’ll cross that bride when we get there.  Maybe we should leave it up to fate…if our first kid is female they’ll all get my name, if the first one is male they all get his name…

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    820 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Honestly, I wanted DH to take MY last name instead of me taking his. His family has a HORRIBLE reputation in my city for being real estate tycoon-types that do shady business dealings and have privitized public and city services, making profits for themselves. Not something I want to be associated with. However, he felt so strongly about me having his last name, saying he wanted to bring good to the name that has been tarnished by his family. I doubt that’ll happen, but we’re moving out of the college town we live in to a much bigger city soon, so we won’t be affected by it.

    In the end, it was so important to him, I took his name. But I really would have loved him to take mine!

    Post # 15
    Member
    979 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    DH offered to take my last name, but I didn’t want him to

    So we both kept our names, not  sure what we will do about children. On the same note, plenty of my friend’s parents have done this (both hyphenating) and been happily married for 30 years, I think its a great idea.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1242 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

    I always thought I would change to my husband’s last name but DH’s last name with my first name sounds very cartoon-ish and being in the legal profession I refused to do it. DH suggested taking my last name as he has no ties to his last name but I was not comfortable with that. As a compromise, we both chose to hyphenate our names but since mine is first a lot of people will refer to us using my last name.

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