Wow. Just…wow.

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Nay1976:  As you plan there will be numerous people who will ask you if they are invited and if not then they may ask why. I wouldnt let it bother you. It never bothered me…..

You just have to learn what to say to them (ie: your guest list is small or venue issues). You actually dont owe anyone an explanation. 

Post # 4
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Nay1976:  people are weird. FI and I work for the same company & a girl in his office asked if she was invited. Obviously we both know her because we work for the same company but never hung out… So,  Ummm no, you’re not. This is our wedding not social hour after work.

Again, weird. I’d just tell her you were having a more intimate wedding for your closest friends and family.

Post # 5
Member
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Nay1976:  I’d write this back, if I wasn’t such a chickenshit: “Unfortunately, we have a budget that we need to stick to… Just keepin’ it real.” Muahaha.

Post # 6
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I understand why that miffed you, but I don’t get why in general people get so annoyed when someone asks if they’re invited. I realize it can be awkward, but it’s kinda nice that some people actually care enough to want to come to a wedding. Most weddings are so boring lol.

I had people ask and I just said we’re keeping it very small. Everyone understood and there were no hurt feelings (that I know about, anyway!).

Post # 7
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’ve had tons of people ask that, and we’re having a 350 person wedding. Just gotta be honest with her. 

Post # 8
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

It’s gonna happen. It happens to everyone. But I still think it’s rude. You don’t ask if you’re going to be invited to a birthday party, do you? Why does this one certain type of party turn everyone into weirdos? 

Post # 9
Hostess
11469 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@Nay1976:  I had the same thing happen. She even went so far as to tell me she had arranged to ride up with someone who was invited and asked when she would be getting her invitation. Super awkward!

Post # 10
Member
589 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Just nicely explain that you are only able to invite 100 people and that its hard to share the guest list with your FI and his family and that you wish you could invite her but you just can’t. She probably is just asking because she invited you and she may feel closer to you than you do to her. Some people don;t realize that other people have different weddings than they did and need some reminding.

Post # 11
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Ick!

Post # 13
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Nay1976:  Yikes.  I had my sister’s in-laws ask me at my nephew’s birthday dinner in Red Robin if they were invited.  I normally have a good answer (something along the lines of “I’m sorry but with the number of family members we each have and the venue’s capacity, we simply aren’t able to invite everyone we would have liked to invite.”) but instead, I was so dumbfounded that MY SISTER’S IN-LAWS asked, I just sat there – with my mouth open.  For an awkward amount of time.  My dad had to step in and answer for me.  lol

Her MIL then proceeded to ask if they could come just to the reception then (um, no, that’s the part that costs all the money).  And she offered to bring her own booze…

On a side note, I see them MAYBE twice a year on my nephews’ birthdays.  THAT’S IT.

Post # 14
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

@Nay1976:  “Wow. Who does that?”

My guess, is someone that genuinely wants to know why they weren’t invited to your wedding. Maybe she thinks you guys are closer than that, her opinion on the matter may just differ from yours.
If she’s any kind of any friend at all (or at the least a decent human being) she’ll understand your position and it won’t be an issue.

Post # 15
Member
7406 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@canarydiamond:  Im with you. I would be flattered that someone was so interested in coming to my wedding that they asked.

People complain when people RSVP no, they complain when they people show exctiement/interets in coming to the wedding. Seems like you can’t win either way as a guest.

Post # 16
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Nay1976:  Same thing happened to me… by a couple different people. I found it incredibly rude! On top of that it stressed me out!! I was just honest with them though and told them our budget and venue wasn’t big enough to accomodate everyone. My FI actually got so irritated by it that he posted a status on fb basically saying if you haven’t received an invitation yet then you’re not invited, get over it and stop asking for one lol a bit too much imo. However, he doesn’t like seeing me stressed or upset so it is what it is.. we haven’t had anyone else ask though.. haha 😉

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