Weddingbee Boards

One of my very close guy friends (we chat once or twice every few months, but are still best buddies) and I were chatting and he asked me if I was married yet. 

I said nope not yet. 

He asked why not,

and I said well I'm not sure. Ask M. 

He says well don't y'all live together.

Yes we do.

For how long

Nearly a year

Oh well maybe y'all aren't the marrying type, it has been that long and he is getting everything that he wants to there's really no reason to get married.

um yeah there is i want to be married.

his response: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

(what the heck does hmmmmmm mean?) i politely change the subject.

so of course i ask M about it and this starts and argument with us. i swear i am fine with us waiting, it doesn't feel like it's been that long since we've been together.  but when i get those questions... i want to SCREAM!!

eta maybe I am pms'g because M's statement shortly before that was

wow my friend D is moving in with a woman again and isn't married.

um WHAT!! babe, you and i live together and aren't married, what's the difference

(this time he gives me the blank stare)....

seriously wth...

@mrsdeetobee: it's really irritating you know, and to hear m make darn near the exact same statement about his friend is mind boggling.

@sanddollar: my friend has been married for two years now, he and his wife didn't live together before marriage.  and then he proceeds to lecture me on how being married is so much different than just dating someone, really? ummm then i guess it will be different.

@vintage: i say oh i'm so happy right now it's really no biggie i'm sure it will happen in the next few years, but when M makes the freaking statements about his friends it burns me up. i seriously want to perform an excision of his tongue with a dull spoon.

yeah my friend was married at 28 and m is 33 so i know he thinks it's odd

but what do you-all make of m's statement about the friend living with a woman before marriage?! i think that is the most single-handedly stupid remark that he has ever made. the problem is he makes it about all of his friends that live together. it's  like hello dumb arse we aren't married, you are a hypocrite.

i need to go back to my happy place, it is our 17 mth anniversary and all. (thank goodness for being able to vent here) even though he got an earful tonight.

@vintage: i swear i want to take one of our sons' baseball bats and whack him once across the head. sorta like in the cartoons, and go WHAM

@lilyfaith: lol that is hilarious actually!!

@sanddollar: i don't think m realizes that we are living together and not married, for his friends it's like oh they don't even want to marry so and so (in his mind) and i guess he thinks we are headed in that direction. that is the only logical thing i can deduce from this stupidity.

@sanddollar: this isn't the first time he's made that statement. if ANYONE he knows moves in with someone he makes that statement.  also he made it tons before we met in person. it is like completely against something he believes in, yet here we are nearly a year into living together and um yeah we are just living together.  he's a hypocrite, whether he likes to believe it or not.  i really think i'm having an iud induced mood swing lol... i was just fine before my friend asked that question. i truly think he struck a nerve.

@sanddollar: suffering succotash is really what i want to say to him. i mean he's sooo incredibly evasive now when i talk about engagements etc, even asking the question about what my friend said led him to asking a question in response. and then it confuses and irritates me so much that i just glare at him.... lol seriously it's not that serious but it is in the moment.  i don't know why i let that comment bother me i am sure i'll get tons of them come dec 25th.

@gingerkid4god: we've talked about marriage etc.  i expect that we'll be getting engaged sometime within the next year.  we've been together for nearly a year and a half, i'm just at that ackward annoying and irritating yet fun and exciting waiting period. i know that he wants a spring wedding, i know the budget he wants even though it's not reasonable. and i know that he wants us to have a 2 week engagement. he is seriously sending me to the crazy house.  i don't know anymore and am completely ambivalent. however if he makes the statement again, straight to the moon i tell ya.

@kmsull: oddly enough that makes perfect sense because he sometimes makes these dumb statements and i am like what are you talking about?! WE are just dating, then when i asked him about the average age for marriage etc, he was like wow i didn't realize that. i asked him if he felt old and he says no too. honestly it doesn't feel like we've been together this long. it feels like 3 or 4 months at the most.  and it's been nearly a year and a half. so on one hand i'm sure he thinks oh we haven't dated that long (until i remind him) and then he's like oh wow, it has been that long.

There would be some nose-punching if I had been a part of that conversation.

@gingerkid: because he thinks I can do it!  he sees me putting together events and doesn't think it would be difficult because i would be doing everything. he hasn't really thought about having to book venues, photogs, etc

@50: he's insane lol, it's flattering and dumbfounding at the same time.

Confusion everyone, I have been preplanning... I called to see about available dates with the photog (who is like an awesome friend and does great work) and the bed and breakfast (rosemound gardens) both were available for most days in march (including my mom and stepdad's anniversary.. oh i would so love to get married on march 6 which falls on a saturday next year!!) i mentioned it to M and of course he was like oh.. and then i was like just tell me it won't happen this year and i can stop preplanning but it's very nerve wrecking thinking i'll have to dive into planning if it does.  just let me know something.  ummm he didn't respond at all.  and changed the subject. i mean wtf?!

@honeybear:  i suppose. i am actually a tad bit relaxed now that i know what dates are available and that i wouldn't scramble for the two most important things.  everything else is very minimal and easy.. if he asks this year i think it would be around christmas or new years eve (because he wants a feb or march wedding so that we can honeymoon in the carribean) and that is enough time for him to plan the honeymoon and me to rush into the planning... now a dress may suck... i don't think i'd be able to get the one i'd want, you know but oh well... there is that used one that i went crazy over a few weeks ago so we'll see lol... hey the dress that i want could be able to be delivered in eight weeks, who knows, you know?  2012? at least that gives you a time frame!! maybe he thinks it will take you two years to plan?

@HB: this one is so silly that it is now comical!

@msmamabear: i swear i don't get it with my friend, well i do, he's over protective but it's like seriously wow... and i hear ya on M's statement, i think he's still being a hypocrite lol... but i suppose he sees us with a future where as his friend is just doing this to do it. 

@honeybear: do you think by any means that he knew you were eaves dropping and was trying to throw you off?

@corgs: bugs will accept the award on my behalf

and that statement makes sense about M... but um he should tell me yes baby we will be getting engaged this year so that i can go ahead and totally plan or no baby, it won't happen until next year and then i can relax. i am so on edge right now.  the problem with me getting engaged next year is i still don't know when and what if i take clients from feb-march? march is a hot time to get married because the weather is finally breaking and i wouldn't get married before the 14th in february because flowers are too expensive.  and he knows i want a shorter engagement so i'm pretty sure he wouldn't do it like on my birthday because that puts us at about an eight month engagement and gives me too much time to change my mind. i really would prefer like a five month engagement perhaps six.  i guess everything is dependent upon him popping the question and he's just taking so flipping long you know?

@honeybear: lol we've talked, that isn't the issue with him. the issue is he knows i'm a control freak and he is a control freak and he wants total control over this because he knows once it is done it's my turn (bwa ha ha ha)... and he doesn't even like the fact that i know that he's thinking about it because he wants it to be a complete and total surprise.

@lily: he is like me with a yee-haw ;).... we are sooo much alike.  i know it drives him crazy that i know, but it's like omg seriously if my favorite sites are booked i will kill him. however the vendors know which date i am thinking... he knows which date i am thinking so we'll see lol...

@RB: i'm insane lol!! M would say ocd, i agree. are you in on the christmas card exchange? you'd totally get my addy then lol!!!

he's at the club tonight (it's his good nigh) i was lazy and ordered pizza.. my allergies are acting up... i worked out a prelim budget. i think we'll be hardpressed to spend over 5000!!  but our guest list will be small, like less than 75... i will invite my entire family though, just not send out an std so i won't get any hurt feelings when they can't come (mean, but hey not my fault)... M only wants to invite like 30 or so folks from his side (his fam is a lot smaller) i'll be inviting about 100 or more but expecting more than half to not show... actually i think only about 30ish folks will be able to make the trip and on m's side perhaps 20 or so... perfect intimate relaxed and casual just like us lol...

@RB: LMAO!!

So this morning I woke up at about 4:30 and went to put his jumpsuit in the dryer (he has to wear one at work and he washes it every day).  Well I got back in the bed and snuggled against him and was fast asleep until the alarm clock went off 30 minutes later. I woke him up and he asked if I put his jumpsuit in the dryer and I said yeah, I did about 30 minutes ago and then we snuggled and I said I love you so much and he said Why (which is my catch phrase) I told him because I picked you out when I was 7. Lol!!! But I thought to myself I have about 200 reasons why so far... lol!!!

Does any one else try to decipher every single thing that is ever said wondering if there's some hidden clue? I swear I feel like I am in one of Dan Brown's novels...