How many times have they asked you wow your so young why are you getting married. Or your the Bride your too young, Today i met a girl well she arondmy age but it really bugged me that shes like, "Nice to meet you but your so young to get married" so annoying especially when were about the same age but she has a daughter and isnt even married. Im 23 same age as my mom when she got married i dont think its too young!!!
I always get told that I'm too young to be engaged. I got engaged at 21 and I'm 23 now. FI and I are both waiting until we're done with school to get married.
Isn't it funny how love and the future isn't sitting like a fine wine waiting for the right year to be uncorked?
seriously, who cares? people may be saying this out of genuine concern or just nastiness. haters gonna hate. the best you can do is show everyone what's what by having a wonderful marriage. then 25 years down the line you can laugh about it. then again you probably won't care what people said by then. :)
also, maybe she feels she was too young when she had her child? don't judge someone because they're a single mom.
I constantly got "You're not pregnant, are you?" when we first got engaged (I was 19). It never really bugged me. I found it pretty amusing actually. I'll be 22 next year when we get married which is the age my Mum married my Dad and they are still very happily married. 20s are definitely not too young.
maybe they are just sour that they are older and havnt found their soul mate / didnt find their partner until later in life
I get 'daddy must be paying for it' drives me wild
I'm 22, got engaged just before I turned 21 and will be married (maybe) at 23. I get the 'you're too young to be engaged' story ALL the time. Realistically it is a young age to be married at, but if your happy, then don't worry about what some rude people say.
I get that sometimes but only because I look young. I'm 28, people think I'm 19 :(
I get it all the time. I am 23, will be 24 when I marry but unfortunately I look 18... That definitely has something to do with it so I guess I can't really blame people
@jennifer89: I'm 22, and we are married and TTC. I get comments like this alllll thheeee tiiiiime. It drives me crazy! "You're too young to have a baby!"
Sometimes people are perceived as younger or older than they feel based on their overall behavior, dress, etc. If you want to be seen as mature enough to get married, definitely make sure you give an impression of maturity in general. Some people may still judge based simply on your calendar age, but they should be far fewer.
@jennifer89: I was 23 when I got married and I heard the same things! It really is rude and annoying, people need to keep their opinions to themselves! I still get weird comments sometimes when I refer to my husband. People will be like, "you're married? you looks so young..how old are you?" You just have to shrug it off.
I was 23 when I got married as well. I still get that shocked face when I say I'm married. Specially because I'm in college still (grad student tho). I ocassionally go to happy hour or a party and people are like you're married???? YES I am, and very happy. People will talk regardless. If you're young, you're too young. If you're older, you waited too long. If you don't have kids, why don't you have kids? if you have them? When are you having another one? Only children are lonely. Agggh, you will never please them!
oh yeeeah I totally get this as well!
I'm 25... my guy is 25... we've been together since we were 18!
I thought waiting til we were 25 would allow us to skip this whole stigma but NOPE, WRONG-O... still "too young"... lol
My mom was 21 when she married by 22 year old father... psh! go figure!
I haven't gotten any of these comments and I am 23, but I am from the South and getting married young is alittle more usual around here.
@KimmySumShuga: Same here. Started dating at 18, got married juuuust before I turned 26, and I STILL got some comments about being soooo young
Part of it is I do look younger. I got weird comments from a stranger about whether I'd be able to continue my education if I got married...I replied "well, I'm planning to defend my doctoral dissertation in May so I feel like I'm probably at the end of my educational rope anyway." I think she then took a better look at me and realized I wasn't nearly as young as she thought hahahha.
Whether you ARE young or whether you just look it, it really isn't anyone else's business. Actually the only people who matter are 1. you, and 2., the person you intend to marry. I'd probably take my parents' opinions to heart but other than that, nope.
I originally didn't even think I'd fall in love and consider marriage until at least my late 20s (just didn't see the rush). Now that I've met the man of my dreams, I am yet to get that comment although I felt like that would have been something I'd consistently have to rebuttal. Not sure if being from and living in the south has anything to do with it. Then again I am 24, about to turn 25 so maybe it just isn't an issue at my age any more.
@joya_aspera: +1, exactly!
Whenever someone coments on how young we are I just smile and say "I know we're so lucky to have found eachother so young! Not everone gets to mary their high school sweetheart!" ;)
I'm 18 and FH is 19. I think we will be 20 & 21 when we get married. We met when we were 15 & 16 so were not exactly going to be together for 20 years before we get married just because thats a more "normal" age, thats just ridiculous.
Thats so rude of that girl to say that though, she as an unmarried mother should know better than to judge!
@bearlove: LOL I love the response you have her about your education! Congrats on getting a PhD!!
She is judging you when she has a child out of wedlock and is just as young as you? I would have shut her up by saying something like this: "Well, at least we are getting married first before deciding to have any children, that's a bigger decision and a bigger responsibility"
But of course, I am mean sometimes... LOL
They are sour.
It's one thing if you're still in your teens, but you're not.
I am 24 and in my area this is unheard of. People marry around 30 here.
I don't get 'your too young' as 'too young' isn't a thing that I can own, I get 'you're too young' and 'why so soon' though. Mostly it's 'why get engaged then' or 'it's only engagement when you're actively planning a wedding', the second I see on the boards, the first I get IRL along with snickers, and I also see it on the boards.
I've been told this many time. =.= It bothered me so much I made a post about it here and felt much better after many bees voiced support and shared their own stories. :) <3
yeah i ignore any comments, everyone lives their life differently so who are they to tell you how to live yours.
Honestly, I'm just confused that I really HAVEN'T gotten any of that yet--from the internet in the abstract I hear people saying 21 is too young to get married, but everyone in our personal life is wildly and even surprisingly supportive. I thought I would have to deal with some opposition and feel like I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop, haha.
But I seriously don't think age matters that much for most people. I mean, it does in some ways, but I'm saying there isn't a specific time limit on it. When you're ready to get married, when you can openly communicate with your partner, when you share the same expectations and are both equally committed to making a lifelong marriage work, no matter how hard it's going to get sometimes, that's when you're ready. I think for some people that point comes at 19; some 35; some 40! My little sister is 19 and I know she won't be ready for marriage for some years now, while I'm two years older and was probably ready at 19 as well. For some people, it's just hard to look past what works for THEM and see that there are different strokes for different folks. You just have to nod, smile, and keep living your life in the way that's right for YOU. Being young is not a bad thing. It means you still have so much time to learn and grow: and whether you're doing that married or unmarried is really a personal decision between you and your partner.
Good luck for all of you getting crap for your decision to marry: I definitely support you!
I dont get this as much as my FI. We are both 20, and I think it is more acceptable for me since I am the girl, but right in front of me people will say "What were you thinking?" or "How do you plan for this to work?" Often we have to tell them our whole financial plan. It's interesting because after we do this then they say congratulations.
I am very supportive of any of you going through problems! No one should judge especially because it's kinda just culture.
It's not that people are "sour" it's that they are older and have watched their friends who got married young end up divorced. Statistics don't lie - age is a huge factor in who divorces and who doesn't. Obviously it doesn't mean YOU specifically will get divorced, only that there's a greater chance. People have opinions on everything - it's up to you to stay strong in your life choices!
I guess what really bothers me about this is that back in the day, people got married a lot younger than now. When my parents got married they were 20. I'm 22, and I know who I am, what I want, and who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I don't really care what anyone else thinks of it. After highschool there are two groups of people, one group marrys young, has a family etc. The other group put off family and focus on other things in their life. My fiance and I are finishing our degree before the wedding, but I don't think that should even play a factor into when it should happen.
SO and I will be 26 by the time we get married. My mother reminds me often that by my age, she had two children....
Edit: I should specify that my mother is a grandbaby hungry fiend and I have no desire to have children any time soon.
I know what you mean, its really obnoxious that people think that they can get into your business like that.
I believe love doesn't have an age, and people just like to make drama and try to ruin your day. Ignore them :)
I dont get the your to young...I just get that look of "OH, YOUR getting married?" "How nice" BLAH. It doesnt help that I look VERY young for my age.
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