"Wow, you've lost so much weight!" Offensive?

posted 3 years ago in Fitness
  • poll: When people comment on your weight loss, how do you feel?
    I take it as a compliment and love when people comment : (272 votes)
    73 %
    I take offense and wish people wouldn't comment : (35 votes)
    9 %
    I am indifferent about it : (52 votes)
    14 %
    Other : (12 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3077 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    @MrsPanda99:  I haven’t lost weight recently but yes I wish people would just not say anything at all.

    Post # 4
    Member
    6964 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @MrsPanda99:  Well… I guess it depends on how much you have to lose. I have a lot to lose, so when people say I’ve lost a lot, I’m happy about it. My sister lost almost a hundred pounds and people would practically scream when they saw her. If I had, say, 20 pounds to lose and I’d lost 10 I might take offense because I shouldn’t look like I lost a “lot”. 

    On the other hand, my cousin is very fit & thin but not skinny. She was under a lot of stress and lost like 7 pounds and you could TOTALLY see it. Her face was thinner and her collarbone was super prominent. I commented on it out of concern, because she really shouldn’t have lost that much. +

     

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    3210 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I personally don’t say it. If I notice that someone’s lost weight and looks nice, I’ll just say, “You look so pretty today!” That way it’s not about the weight loss unless they want to take it that way.

    When I was in college I was sick and lost like 5 pounds, which is a lot for me. I mentioned to a friend that I had lost like 5 pounds in the last week, and she said, “Oh, congrats, that’s great!” and I was horrified, lol. Like you said, very much “Did I look like I NEEDED to lose 5 pounds?!” 

    Post # 6
    Member
    1234 posts
    Bumble bee

    I don’t think commenting “Wow, you’ve lost so much weight,” is rude in and of itself because it’s simply stating a fact. I think it’s the added, “You look good!” that people like to throw on the end that’s kind rude because it implies you didn’t look good before. Still, it’s impossible to please everyonem for ever person offended by those comments, there’s another who will be offendex if you don’t notice/compliment them at all. It’s a hard line to walk. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    2721 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I don’t like it when people say things about relatively small amounts (5-10 pounds). I can see saying it when someone has lost over 50 pounds.

    Post # 8
    Member
    839 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    The most weight I’ve lost was ~35-40 lbs. It’s not like I didn’t know I was overweight, so no, I didn’t take offense to people commenting on my weight loss. 

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    4998 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I kinda go the other way, I get a bit peeved when people are shocked at how much weight I’ve lost and when I mention what size I was before.

    A lot of people notice I’ve lost weight, but they don’t believe me when I say I was a size 16 UK/12 US before and I’m a size 8-10 UK/4-6 US now. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    4656 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    Compliment.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1822 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    I haven’t ever had any real weight loss / significant toning up, but I would think I’d take the compliment! Kind of like if someone says “I like your new haircut!” that doesn’t mean you had a crappy cut before, you just look different than before and the new look made them smile enough to say something 🙂

    Post # 12
    Member
    184 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    @MrsPanda99:  Good for you for working on your heatlh!! I have had this EXACT convo with my mom 🙂 She has lost weight over the years and I have recently lost about 30lb…We both get the same comments as you mentioned before and for me..sometimes i have the exact reaction you do a “pfft what did I look like before?!” haha. However, i am trying to embrace it because 1. fact is I have lost weight which is an accomplishment I am proud of and 2. people (I hope :P) mean it as a compliment so I’m learning to take it as such. My mom told me how a woman told her once how healthy she was looking and she explained to my mom how she did not want to say comments like “you look pretty” because it might imply they she didn’t before . I think people just don’t know what to say! aha but I toootally get where you are coming from!

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    11379 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @MrsPanda99:  just take it as a compliment.  say “thank you” and then change the subject.  don’t take any offense to it.  i have learnt how to deal with uncomfortable comments like this (not necessarily weight related) for many years so that is all i say.

    Post # 15
    Hostess
    9903 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @MrsPanda99:  it depends on my mood and the person commenting.  If FH says something I take it as a compliment, he generally doesn’t say much/notice a whole lot so if he takes notice I must look pretty good.  If my mother says something, it annoys the crap out of me.  Sometimes I’m just in a bad mood so everything’s offensive, if I’m feeling particularly attractive for whatever reason then everything’s a compliment.

    Post # 16
    Member
    42469 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think most people want people to notice when they have lost weight. Losing weight is hard work and it’s nice to be recognized for that.

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