Writing “no boxed gifts”

posted 10 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
47 posts
Newbee

Yes, I think that is tacky.  You can’t tell someone to buy you a gift, let alone what type of gift. 

Post # 4
Member
5 posts
Newbee

Uber-tacky, sorry.  Basically, etiquette demands that you (the bride) act like any gifts received are a total surprise – technically, even your registry info should be spread through your MOH/BMs/friends rather than from you directly, although I think putting where you’re registered on your wedding website is okay.  But putting anything about gifts on the invitation is a HUGE no-no, as is specifying what specifically you expect people to give you ($).

That being said, as a wedding guest I do think it’s thoughtful to either ship large items to the couple ahead of time or give $/gift certificates at the wedding if it is not near their home.

Post # 5
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

It might be ify to put it on the invitation.  On our website where the registries are listed, we put;

<span class=”style_3″ style=”line-height: 16px”>For our convenience and yours, please do not bring any heavy or large items to the wedding.   Our address has been listed on the registry, so any items can be shipped to us.

 We are travelling along with most of our guests.  Also we had a honeyfund registry and put other non-honeymoom items on it.  Which told our guests we would like monetary contributions as well.

Post # 6
Member
35 posts
Newbee

that’s incredibly rude.  don’t do it.

Post # 7
Member
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

I think only the Indian brides can get away with this one, apparently, it’s not tacky (but commonplace) to do it there, according to another one of the girls here.

Post # 8
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

Not sure that it would go over well with your more "traditional" guests.

Post # 9
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

Husband and I were concerned at the time about receiving boxed gifts, but we decided against stating it on the invites and since we had mostly immediate family and close friends attend the wedding, I had many people spread the word for me.  We still ended up with about 8 wedding figurines, but 4 of which were from HK and made of gold, so we didn’t mind that!  And a very nice Mickey & Minnie wedding frame, but I would say about 99% of our guests understood that we really appreciated monetary gifts over boxed ones.  I had a few people ask me whether or not I was registered anywhere and I laughed stating I was registered at any bank they can imagine!  It was a way for me to get the point across without blatantly stating we didn’t want boxed gifts, but this is easier for me since my wedding was so intimate.  But I would also be on the team of not writing it on invites as you don’t know how some of your guests may react.

Post # 10
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

I think its only okay to put on your wedding website (not the actual invite) and you shouldnt flat out imply that you want cash/gift certificates only, but approach it like Cyshas above did and mention that since you’re flying to your wedding it will be dificult to transport big gifts home, all gifts should be sent to your house. 

Post # 11
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Where I live (Northeast PA) I don’t even have to write it.  No-one will bring boxed gifts, only cards with only cash.  It’s just how its done here, or at least with all the people I know. I have never even heard of anyone getting a boxed gift in the weddings I have been to. If anyone brought a boxed gift there would be nowhere to put it.

Post # 12
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I think it’s incredibly tacky. 

Post # 14
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

I agree with the Indian bride thing- it is very commonplace in the Indian community to write no boxed gifts so if you are Indian I would say go for it. . . if you want to get around it you can just register and get what you would want instead of what others would give you (but its not money unfortunately)- but you can often return return registry gifts for money esp at Bed, Bath and Beyond I hear. . .

Post # 15
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

i got an invite a few months ago that stated nothing heavy or large, as the couple was driving cross country immediately after the wedding to move to their new place. i didn’t think it was tacky, because that reason made sense to me and it’s something i wouldn’t necessarily have thought of. depends on how you state it, i think.

Post # 16
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

Ok I’m not even blonde and I would have just brought my gift in a bag or just not wrapped. I don’t think that is traditional or very clear at all.

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