Wrtiting Thank Yous? Who?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes he should have to help.

Post # 4
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@GamersBride:  oh, that rubs me the wrong way!  I plan to write out the ones for my side of the invite list and he will write the ones for his side. Whether he knows this yet or not! 😉

Post # 5
Member
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

It’s totally fair for you to ask him to help, but it definitely is traditional for the wife to write the thank you’s. I think that’s pretty outdated and patriarchal. I only plan on writing all of our’s because I LOVE to write thank you’s (I’m a freak) and I want to impress SO’s family with my admittedly thoughtful and beautifully worded thank you’s, haha! If you’d like him to help you though, he really ought to.

Post # 7
Member
1233 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yay for thank you cards! I had shoulder surgery last week and am unable to write out our thank you cards so DH is doing them all. I will just sign my name when he’s all done. He has better handwriting than me anyway so it worked out well. We just addressed them as “John and Jane Doe” 

Post # 8
Member
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

@GamersBride:  Haha, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make things worse. The point is that my SO would be happy to help write the notes if I asked him to. I would definitely lose my cool with him if he acted like a misogynistic pig about it. Besides, if he helps, that will free up your time by half for you two to be a couple. I think it is a bad idea to seperate tasks after the wedding based on whose “job” it is. My SO would help me write the notes if I asked, and I help mow the lawn or take out the trash if he asked. Try to get your fiance to focus more on working toward common goals together instead of consigning all the “women’s work” to you. That is a recipe for a poor start. You will start to feel uncared for and disrespected, even though he obviously loves you very much and would never want you to feel that way. Explain how much it would mean if he helped you get these notes out of the way. For some people, let’s face it, they’re a real pain in the ass. 

Post # 10
Member
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

@Cummins59:  Yeah, that’s a good point. My SO has atrocious handwriting…my OCD could not handle him writing our cards out, haha! It is really sweet of your fiance to do them all for you because of your surgery, though. What a great guy!

Post # 11
Member
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

@GamersBride:  I would sign it Love, Gamer and GamersBride, using your first names. If it is someone you absolutely don’t know, like friends of your parents, you can sign it Sincerely, Gamer and GamerBride LastName. Hope that helps!

Post # 14
Hostess
9919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

i’m under no illusion that FH will write any thank you notes.  It just won’t happen.  I’ll be writing them – perhaps with him teling me what to write in a few cases – and then handing them to him to sign.  

Post # 15
Member
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wrote the ones for my side and he did them for his. He insisted I must sign the ones he wrote though, where I just signed both our names. You should both do it, imo.

Post # 16
Member
1233 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@GamersBride:  Our thank you cards are like a post card. On the right side we addressed it “John and Jane Doe” then their address. On the left side it has “Travis & Kyleen X then our address” then right below that we started writing “Thank you so much for blah blah blah…….” Then we just signed it. 

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