Post # 1
We had just settled in to bed tonight after watching an episode of true blood. FI turns to me randomly and says “you know, I’ve smelt stale cigarette smoke like white ox rollies in the house in the last few days.”
And IMMEADIATLY my heart clenches shut like a fist. Neither of us smoke. We’d NEVER allow anyone to smoke in the house. My three babies are sleeping in the house. WTF?
I used to have a stalker, an ex boyfriend, who used to come sleep in my hammock in the backyard. I moved and haven’t heard from him in years. It was a horrible, horrible time.
I’m very paranoid about people being in my space when I don’t know they are there. And forgive me if anyone smokes white ox, but the only people I’ve know to smoke it are dodgy so that scared me even more.
And then FI says “well actually it could have been from when you cleaned the coffee machine. Or maybe I have a brain tumor.” WHATTT?!
He was off work tue with a migraine. He’s saying weird stuff. So I ask him to list his symptoms and he thinks the migraine was from sleep deprivation, he’s got no other symptoms but I’m making him go to the drs.
He can’t understand why I’m upset over that strange conversation. He’s usually REALLY switched on with my emotions and wouldn’t talk like that normally. We don’t really drink at all and haven’t had any tonight
And now he’s sleeping beside me, I must get up in less that five hours and I have no idea what just happened or how I will sleep again. 🙁
ETa: excuse wall of text, I did write in paragraphs, I don’t know what’s happening!
Post # 3
I think the trip to the doctor is a good idea. Good luck!
Post # 4
Ok firstly, before you let your imagine run away with you, I’m going to be literal here:
1) Did your ex smoke ox rollies?
2) Have you smelt anything like that the house?- Is your house secure?
3) Does the stuff you clean the coffee machine with smell like that?
4) He’s obviously had the brain tumour thing on his mind with his migraine so he’s said it as an off the cuff remark, going to the docs as a precausion is a good idea but I wouldn’t let yourself get caught up in that until- if there was anything to worry about.
5) Put this all to one side and try and think of something that makes you feel relaxed, put something on the TV and think that anything that you’re worried about can wait until morning.
Post # 5
@RoyalLime: thank you!
@Soon2BeeMrsG: 1) Yes, he smoked rollies. Not that type when I knew him but he did end up secretly addicted to meth so I don’t know what he’d be smoking now. But I doubt he’d be back, it was a a long time ago, it was just a knee jerk fear reaction I hope.
Never smelt anything like that before, house is secure with big protective dogs too. And the chickens sleep with the dogs and they’ll easily startle at night and be loud. ( I realise how odd that sounds!)
i’ve never thought the coffee machine smelt like cigarettes- just pulled everything out and vacuumed it and washed, no different cleaners.
I’ll get him to go to the Drs, he’s due a check up anyway.
thank you for all your very helpful advice! Really appreciate it. Feel a bit better already. It’s good to break it down.
Post # 6
@RedJezabel: And the chickens sleep with the dogs and they’ll easily startle at night and be loud.
I read that 5 times and am still confused. You have chickens? And they sleep with the dogs? Or you are the chicken?
Haha…anywho, I totally get what you’re going through. I freak at every sound and thought of danger. I can’t watch Law and Order before bed because i’ll just lay there thinking of someone coming in and killing me. Three big dogs and I still freak at every door shutting.
It sucks. I really don’t have any advice other than try and relax. I watch funny shows before heading to bed and then say my prayers.
Post # 7
@Birdee106: lol, I’m sorry that was unclear.
We have two big ridgebacks and five chickens (for eggs and fertilizer) and instead of sleeping in their kennels and chicken shed, they have all decided to sleep in a pile outside on the verandah of the back door of our bedroom. The chickens are ninja escape artists and won’t be away from the dogs.
They are all mates. The dogs let the chickens stand in their (the dogs) food bowl and eat their food while the dogs are eating. It’s the funniest thing.
I’ve been reading funny stuff on reddit and have just begun to mellow! 😀
Post # 8
@RedJezabel: Okay if you have pictures of this you HAVE to post them! That’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard 😀 I want pictures of the sleeping piles and the food.
Post # 9
As PP said, it’s best to just put stuff like this out of your mind and let it go. Remind yourself that the house is secure and honestly, brain tumors are rare and I think normally don’t present as painful – more loss of balance, etc.
It’s funny, when I lived with my ex-FI I was always paranoid about stuff and scared, but now that I’m on my own I’m not – probably because if I let myself be scared even for a minute, it’d take me over since I *am* alone lol.
Post # 10
It might make you feel a little better to know that when I have a migraine I frequently smell things that aren’t there. Tops on my list are food and stale smoke. I taste them too, it’s very unsettling.
Hope you get some rest. 🙂
Post # 11
Smelling bad smells (that aren’t always there) is like my once-a-month curse. Everything stinks! Even good things smell bad to me! I’m just out-of-whack and it stops happening after the week’s over. Even food smells like other things to me sometimes (yeah, sometimes cigarettes which is awful)
It could be one of you was near someone who smoke (maybe not even smoked near you) and their smell just rubbed off on a jacket or something.
Anyway, if you’re worried it’s a real smell, spray the room (or any piled up laundry) down with a dilluted vinegar mix (maybe when everyone’s not in the room) and that should clear up any lingering smells. And no, when it dries it doesn’t smell like vineger (but when it’s wet it smells like vinegar for sure). You can look it up if you like. 🙂
Post # 12
I have heard that people with migraines can experience olfactory (smell) hallucinations (and sometimes even visual hallucinations), these are not unusual in migraines. (Dr. Oliver Sacks a well known neurologist with migraines himself wrote a book about migraines which discusses this phenomena.) It hasn’t always been reported because people are sometimes embarassed to admit this distortions in perception.
Post # 13
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
Calm down! It could be nothing. We used to be able to smell neighboring apartments in our old place. He could just be smelling smoke from next door.
Post # 14
@RedJezabel: do you ever leave windows open during the day? Does a neighbour smoke? If they do, the smoke may be floating into your house. Not to make you paranoid, but regularly check the windows outside to make sure they haven’t been tampered with, and make your house as hard as possible to break into (everyone should do this whether they have a stalker or not). You can’t make a house completely intruder-proof, but you can make it harder for them, and easier for you to see the evidence if someone tries. Have you smelt the stale smoke? Another thing – have either of you maybe worn a jacket or something to a pub where there were smokers? I’ve found that sometimes a house can smell smokey because there is just one object in there that has absorbed cigarette smoke. Just because he can smell it and you can’t, might just mean his nose is a bit more sensitive to smoke. There could be many different reasons, don’t assume the worst but be vigilant anyway.
Taking your FI to the doctor is a good idea. If they don’t suggest it, insist in a CT scan. I once had bad headaches, and the doctor sent me for a CT scan before prescribing anything – precautionary. He wanted to rule out more serious causes first.
Hoping everything is fine and there’s a simple reason for the smell.
Post # 15
Cigarette smoke is kind of like Lazarus…it will rise from beyond at odd times…and it can seem really suspicious, but depending on your home, the fixtures, paint and flooring it it and the heating system, sunlight hitting the right spot on a wall with just a little humidity in the air can revive the prior owner’s habitual aroma like nobody’s business….it’s weird, but it happens.
The exact same thing happens in the old gentleman’s room at the Stanley Hotel…it’s been totally refurbished and painted and all of that, but when the sun heats up the cherry tables, the smoke they absorbed from the 1800’s starts to waft through the air.
Probably a residual thing, no worries…
Post # 16
@RedJezabel: Chickens and dogs! Too cute. 🙂 OK, sorry you were upset last night. I hope you got some rest. Check your property, inside, out, the perimeter. Ask trusted neighbors if they’ve spotted anyone unusual lurking around your home. Good to get your sweetie checked at the doctor and hope it all turns out ok. In the meantime, go visit your chickens and dogs to make you smile and relax.